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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Thanks Lesley

    This evening was very different.

    More anxiety;

    `How can I get to the market with no car?`
    `How can I work with no stock?`
    `How can we pay the bills with no money?`
    `Which Sylvia are you? Where is the other one?`
    `Who is the other woman who was here?`
    and later.......
    `You are quite right. It is sundowning.`
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Sylvia:

    So sorry that its a different phase again today.

    In Cont.Care jargon this is 'unpredictable behaviour' - an area we have to prove to obtain full funding :eek::eek:

    I hope the sundowning is short lived tonight.

    Love Jan
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Hello Jan

    It only lasted an hour and that was when Dhiren accepted it was sundowning.

    But he was frightened. Frightened the house would be taken from us because we had no money. Frightened of how he was feeling.
    And once he `came round` he as so tired he went to bed.
     
  4. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Dear Sylvia

    I am pleased it only lasted an hour as we know that it was going on for so much longer before the meds.

    Hope you had a good day:)

    Love
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Thanks Helen

    Yes we did have a good day Helen. I have no complaints. :)
     
  6. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Sylvia,

    Has Dhiren mentioned another Sylvia before? It just strikes me that this sounds a bit like Capgras syndrome - where the person thinks that there is a double or imposter of someone familiar to them.

    There have been a few posts on this:

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=7014&highlight=capgras

    Might be worth mentioning to Terry?

    Glad that the eariler part of the day was good.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Hello Sandy

    I had forgotten about Capgras syndrome. But as this is the first time it has happened I`ll bear it in mind just in case it happens again.

    I asked him who was the other Sylvia. He said `The one who is a bit bulky.`
    I said I was the bulky one, but he disagreed.

    How good was that. :)
     
  8. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Dear Silvia

    Ron has in the past thought that there is another one like me. BUT, not the same.
    The other one tell's him off:( She is a nurse, and he is in a hospital.
    Me, the right one, is nice:( and he likes me.

    God, I wish I knew what is going on inside Ron's mind.

    Barb
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Hello Barb

    When Dhiren asked where the other Sylvia was, I felt he was asking for me and I, the one who was with him, was a stranger.

    But when I said I was here and asked him who he thought I was he said I was Sylvia G his wife. So when I asked who the other one was he said he didn`t know but she was `bulky`.

    I have never heard him use that word before.

    I hope all goes well for Ron tomorrow Barb.
     
  10. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Hi Sylvia,

    Ummmm...how can I put this delicately? In the past, were you heavier than you are now? Do you think Dhiren was remembering a version of you from the past?

    As his delusions this evening revolved around getting to work, it is possible that he was oriented to a period some years earlier, when he still ran a business.

    Just a thought.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  11. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,429
    It's such an unusual word isn't it? Bulky? Out of the blue like that? (sure he didn't mean bossy :D:eek:).

    Seriously, there does seem to be a pattern that I saw myself - I was Rhoda (my mother's sister) when I was being bossy, so it's as if sometimes, different behaviours have to be assigned to different people.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Dear Sandy
    No need for delicacy.....I am at my heaviest by a stone, so it isn`t that.

    And he still cannot come to terms with no working, nor can he understand the concept of a retirement pension, that he is being kept by the government, but this is only during periods of deep confusion.

    Dear Jennifer
    I have been accused of being bossy but I haven`t been bossy for a while now......Honest guv! :)


    He went to bed early and slept well. He has just woken, been to the loo, and come back to bed.
    There was a blank expression on his face as he looked round the room and through the window. He was smiling with his mouth only.
    I asked if he was all right. He said he was.
    I asked if he knew where he was, He said he did but I doubted it.
    I think he knew me.

    He is back in bed and asleep.
     
  13. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Oh Sylvia, it's something new all the time these days, isn't it?

    I hope you have a good day today, and Dhiren is 'with it' when he wakes.

    Love,
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    Thanks Hazel.

    He did appear very confused this morning, but he often is, on waking. At least he did not appear upset and for that I am grateful.
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,077
    Kent
    A little misunderstanding...........................

    S `Your hands feel so cold. Shall I turn the fire higher?`
    D `It`s all right.......How would you be able to lift it?`

    This reminds me of some of the children I used to work with who had semantic pragmatic language difficulties.
    If someone were to say `It`s raining cats and dogs.` they would rush to the window to see.

    So I must now be sure to choose my language carefully.

    Another change.
     
  16. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Re: 'Cats & Dogs' & similar expressions ...

    We - native Brits - who have grown up with such expressions think nothing of them, do we. :rolleyes:

    Perhaps Dhiren (or Maggie's Mum, who is Spanish by birth) is beginning to forget that not all English language phrases can be taken literally.
    So be careful of saying "my feet are killing me" :D. (I've just been catching up on this thread - shoes etc. ;))

    Best wishes
     
  17. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    When I was teaching in an international school in Spain my fellow teachers and I often smiled at the problems the English language caused to our multilingual children.

    xxTinaT
     
  18. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,055
    Toronto, Canada
    I well remember the day when a co-worker, whose mother tongue was not English, wanted to know what all the fuss was about "oral sex". "Why are Canadians always talking about sex?" was the comment I remember :D.
     
  19. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    I think I've said before that my sister teaches English in Greece and a favourite topic is idioms, such as "it's raining cats and dogs", but she didn't know where the expression came from. I always thought it came from the story that dead cats and dogs were thrown in the sewers and when it rained heavily their bodies floated to the surface (apologies to those eating while reading this); hence the expression.

    I have a colleague whose son had Aspergers, and he takes expressions such as this literally. If he is told to pull his socks up he will do exactly that.

    My dad has semantic dementia but this is not a situation we have come across with him.

    Sylvia, I'm sorry this is no help, but I hope you have a good evening. :)
     
  20. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    :) OK, dads about the same. More sleepy now. Bless.
    Have been to see him today, Moms been ill with the flu.
    The nursing home had made mom a beautiful card with her name on, from dad, with a small valentine bear. I can see we will have tears this weekend.
    My eldest son, is going to run the London marathon, a big step for him as he was diogniosed a diabetic 2 yrs ago. Grandad would have been so proud. xxx
     
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