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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Dhiren still has his obsession with money but today, seems to have lost understanding of the value of money.

    He has £35 in his purse which is giving him pleasure and making him feel secure. Quite recently, he would have been anxious it wasn`t enough.

    He feels he has enough to take us to India to see the moom mission.

    I`m not sure whether this is a definite downturn or just a blip.

    It`s awful, but I hope it`s a downturn, simply because it will save him much anxiety.
     
  2. Lynne

    Lynne Registered User

    Jun 3, 2005
    3,433
    Suffolk,England
    Not awful at all Sylvia

    As always, you are considering Dhiren's level of distress before your own.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Thanks Lynne

    He has actually thanked me today for looking after his money and making sure he has some savings.

    I really do hope it lasts.
     
  4. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    will you look after mine too Sylvia, Bank not doing a great job at the moment.Pam
     
  5. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    No it's not awful. Although downturns bring further problems, the stage when my dad was tortured with worry was one of the hardest to witness. I've always said that as long as my dad is happy, anything else we can cope with.

    Off to the home now to see if I can get him to watch the England rugby game. :)
     
  6. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    Agree 100% Sue. If progressing to another level means less anxiety, less agony, then I am relieved, - sad but relieved!

    I hope that Dhiran's money worries do subside. Ken has now stopped asking me how are we paying for his stay at the 'Convalescent home' and has stopped promising me he will find a job which will give us money. He sometimes thinks we haven't got a home and that's because we have no money.

    xxTinaT
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    #4767 Grannie G, Feb 8, 2009
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2009
    Very late sundowning last night from 11pm onwards...........sorting shoes....all taken from the wardrobe and lined up by the side of the bed.
    S `Are you going to keep them there? They`ll be better in the wardrobe.`
    D `Don`t tell me what to do.`
    S `I`m frightened you`ll get up in the night and trip over them. There`s no room for them there.`
    D `Am I a little baby that you have to tell what to do.`
    S `All right. All right. Forget what I said, Keep your shoes where you want.`

    And in temper he put them all back into their boxes and into the wardrobe.
    And we went to bed.

    When he woke this morning, I sensed him struggling but kept quiet, waiting to be asked for help.

    He put his slippers on and I heard him go from room to room. He opened all the curtains to look outside. He opened the front door to look outside.
    He came back to the bedroom.

    S `Are you all right?`
    D `I don`t know where I am.`
    S `You are at home.`
    D `When are we going?`
    S `We are not going anywhere. We are staying here. We live here.`
    D `When did we come?`
    S `Six years ago.`
    D `I can`t remember anything.`
    S `I know. You will when you wake up properly.`

    And his questions continued in this vein, asking How? When? Why? Where? Who? until he felt he knew.

    Then
    D `There`s something wrong with my shoes.`

    He was wearing one shoe and one slipper.

    D `Why are they like this?`
    S `You got a bit mixed up last night and were sorting your shoes.`
    D `What do you mean?`
    S `You were putting them by the bed and when I asked you to put them away. You got cross with me so I left you to it.`
    D `Why should I get cross with you?`
    S `I don`t know.`
     
  8. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Morning Sylvia

    How is Dhiren now? I think this is the first time since medication that Dhiren has experienced 'confusion' late at night and first thing in the morning? I would think that if this shows to have any regularity then it might be time to tweak;)

    I hope you have a decent day.

    Love
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Good morning Helen

    Dhiren is still asleep.

    He went back to bed, was asleep in an instant and his face is peaceful. he will be all right when he wakes....I hope.

    I won`t be asking for an increase in medication just yet. I will wait till things are much worse. Last night was OK. It didn`t last long and the aggression was short lived. He has only been on the antipsyhotic for 5 weeks.

    I was in tears last night for myself, but was in tears this morning for him.
     
  10. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Sylvia:

    I hope you and Dhiren are ok this morning. Following your last post I could shed tears for you too - it is a wretched disease.

    You are handling it all so well an hopefully when you have the need Terry is on hand too. I can only hope you have good moments today.

    Love Jan
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Thanks Jan

    He is still asleep, which is why I wouldn`t ask for an increase in medication just yet.
    These episodes really take it out of him and he always sleeps late the morning after.
    But he does have much better days for which I am thankful.
    Paul should be coming for the football at 4pm. so this lie in will ensure Dhiren enjoys it.

    I hope you are as all right as you can be. I know David isn`t.
    We are all going through our own individual heartache as well as sharing each others.

    Love xx
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sylvia, I hope you have a better day today, and Dhiren enjoys the football.

    As you say, it's not every day now, and that's an improvement.:)

    Love,
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Thank you Hazel.
    He woke and got up at 12, had a bath and breakfast and feels fine. :)
     
  14. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,057
    Toronto, Canada
    Hi Sylvia,
    I agree with you - I don't think it's time to tweak the meds yet. There will always be bad days but as long as the good days outweigh the bad, I would leave things alone. Meds are a help, they are not the answer.
     
  15. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    hELLO sYLVIA

    I'm glad Dhiren had a good sleep:) I didn't mean a tweak in the sense of an increase in medication but rather a tweak around the administering times;)

    Love
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Dear Helen

    Sorry. I misunderstood. :eek:

    Now that suggestion might be feasible but it depends whether or not he`d take it in isolation if he was in a `state`. And it would not be easy to predict when the best time would be.

    Have to think about that one and discuss with Terry and Dr.K.

    Thank you Helen. :)
     
  17. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Hi Sylvia

    I was thinking far more simply (and probably very naively).
    For example, if Dhiren currently takes morning medication at 8am and evening at 6pm it might be worth considering giving morning medication at 10am and evening at 8pm. This would be with the sole purpose of Dhiren experiencing sundowning at more manageable times rather than expecting it to have more of a curative effect;)

    Love
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Dear Helen

    Simplicity. Now why couldn`t I have thought of that. I will try tomorrow as he has already had his meds tonight.

    Will let you know.
     
  19. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    :) Just popping in to say hello.
    [HUG]x
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    All theories blown out of the window.

    Sundowning this evening at 7pm.

    Great distress, unsteady, appearing weak, puzzled, haunted expression, paranoid.........

    Who keeps hiding his money, he puts it in one place and when he looks it has gone.
    He wishes he was dead.
    There`s no point in life.
    Then......
    D `At least if I had a wife I would have someone to look after me.`
    S `I am your wife.`
    D look of absolute shock on his face, `Are you?`
    S `Of course I am.`
    D `Then why am I frightened of you?`
    S `I don`t know. It really upsets me to think you are frightened of me.`
    D `I`m so sorry. I didn`t know. I didn`t know who you are.`
    S `Do you know now?`
    D `I think so.`
    Then......
    D `Was I violent?`
    S `No you are not violent.`
    D `Did I swear at you?`
    S `No you didn`t swear.`
    Then he was hungry. he is often very hungry after an `episode`. he had a tin of soup and was still hungry. He had an omelette and was satisfied.
    His face cleared.
    D `I`m all right now.`
    S `I can see you are.`
    Then later.......
    D `I feel all right now. I had a good sleep. It did me good.`
    He often believes he has slept after an `episode` too.
     
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