I'm sorry to use your thread Sylvia but I want to reply to a post by Barb.
I don't want to hijack your thread but I'm sorry I have to post this to Barb (something I've felt I wanted to post for months now but never had the courage to do so as I would not wish to upset or hurt her or cause yet another 'bad rift' type of tit for tat postings). xxTinaT
Sorry Barb,
But you can only talk about your experiences and I can only talk about mine - which are at the opposite ends of the pole completely!!! What you do with Ron is up to you, you know him best. I've never met him, except through your posts of course.
You have every right, in your case, with your husband, to say....he sleeps enough, he is not suffering.... therefore pills are not appropriate in my husband's case. You can also say, no care home for my Ron ....he sleeps a lot, he needs a lot of physical looking after but I can cope with the physical side. It damn near kills me at times but I can cope. This illness makes me lonely even though he is by my side (most of us are, like you very, very lonely)
The only peace my husband gets from the mental torment he is in is because of medication. His life, and mine, is unbearably painful without medication. He suffers from extremes of obsessive behaviour all his waking hours, he suffers from extremes of fear and anxiety almost all his waking hours. He also is incontinent. I can deal with the incontinece on my own. I am aged 63 and although do have some health problems, I am a youngish woman and can cope with the physical side of caring for incontinence. Other people may have to let their husbands go into a home because they are ill themselves or physically incapacitated.
My poor husband goes through extreme mental torment and I in turn, go through it with him. My husband needs medication. Yours from what you say and I'm sure you are right, does not. My husband needs 24/7 care from more than one person. Yours does not.
Dementia is not the same for every sufferer - we all know that. I just wish sometimes, once in a while, you would take a little pity when you post and understand how much it hurts me when you triumphantly proclaim - no pills - no care home. Every time you proclaim this, I feel like sh***t because I'm NOT in your position. My position is pills AND care home.
I love your spirit, Barb, you know this. I admire the way you look after your Ron. But please realise that I'm not in your position and I suspect, some of your posts also are very hard for others who are not in your position to read.
You can shout from the hilltops whatever you want of course. But I know that you care about all of us, whatever our position is, just wish you would say so once in a while.
xxTinaT
xxTinaT
soon as my back turn. I am not in Kitchen , mum would be peeling an orange . she lost the skill now, so when she in Kitchen now with Zimmer frame she have one in her hand, hands it to me . I tell her she had one already .
