A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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from me too - Jan has been in care for 6 years and I still hate that.However, as we know, every person has a different path on this journey.
I remember also when I use to get question like that from my mother , it was never in a set time of day , always seem during the day , worse on the days she only had one day at day-center , if it was not for day-center , she be sleeping waking me up asking all those question , wondering around bored , because she can't concentrate on anything other then what rambling around in her mind then she come up with something that she can't do any more , blame me that I have taken all her money , that why she can't do it
she does not do it so much now , because she got 4 days at days center , so her concentration turn in to day center, seem to except that when she does not go , she can sleep more or it just make her more tried from going 4 days take the energy out of her , but does pop up with what clothes she wants me to buy her , better then taking about the unreasonable things that she can not do , but want to do .
Don't know how you do it Sylvia , but I suppose you just do .
she does not do it so much now , because she got 4 days at days center , so her concentration turn in to day center, seem to except that when she does not go , she can sleep more or it just make her more tried from going 4 days take the energy out of her , but does pop up with what clothes she wants me to buy her , better then taking about the unreasonable things that she can not do , but want to do .
Don't know how you do it Sylvia , but I suppose you just do .
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Hi Sylvia.
Things are much the same with Jim here as well as Dhiran...this morning he wanted to get hold of my son to tell him that as I do some of his accounts in Jim's house Jim wanted a share of the profits from the business and from now on it was about time I started paying rent he thought £20 a week was a reasonable sum. All this in spite of the fact that the house is also mine and that we are tenants in common.
last week he was going to the bank to draw out all his money and go and live in Portsmouth he was fed up of me stealing his time by falling asleep on the sofa ( I do fall asleep usually after a day of running around after Jim.)
He has now gone out for a walk and locked me in so that I do not run away.....I can of course get out as I have another key and there are two other doors I can use. He did pop back for a second to check if I was OK ...he passed the key through the letter box so I could let him in!! I did my best and kept a straight face ..bless him I could laugh about it now ..if only it were'nt so tragic.
love Judith
Things are much the same with Jim here as well as Dhiran...this morning he wanted to get hold of my son to tell him that as I do some of his accounts in Jim's house Jim wanted a share of the profits from the business and from now on it was about time I started paying rent he thought £20 a week was a reasonable sum. All this in spite of the fact that the house is also mine and that we are tenants in common.
last week he was going to the bank to draw out all his money and go and live in Portsmouth he was fed up of me stealing his time by falling asleep on the sofa ( I do fall asleep usually after a day of running around after Jim.)
He has now gone out for a walk and locked me in so that I do not run away.....I can of course get out as I have another key and there are two other doors I can use. He did pop back for a second to check if I was OK ...he passed the key through the letter box so I could let him in!! I did my best and kept a straight face ..bless him I could laugh about it now ..if only it were'nt so tragic.
love Judith
Too much information............
I got up this morning at 7a.m., it was my first day at the Relatives Support Group.
S `We`ve a busy week this week. I`ve got the relatives support group today, and you see the chiropodist on Thursday and I go on Friday.`
I should know better by now
7.30 a.m.
D `I`d better get up. What time is my appointment?`
S `You`re not going today, you go on Friday. I`m out this morning.`
D `To see about your feet?
S `No, to the relatives support group.`
D `For Alzheimers?`
S `Yes. To see what I can learn.`
D `I don`t have to come?`
S `You could, but you don`t have to.`
D `Good.`
We both got washed and dressed.
S `Will you go for the papers before I go out, then I`ll know you`re safe.`
D ` You don`t have to treat me like a child, I`ll go when I`m ready.`
S `Sorry!!!`
A bit later.....
D `What time is your appointment?`
S `I`ve to be there for 10.30.`
D `See if you can have an operation.`
S `No, I`m not going about my feet, I`m going to the relatives support group.`
D `I`m not going.`
S `I know.`
He went to get the papers.
When he came home, he had some cereal, but didn`t want anything else.
I put the fire on the lowest setting.
I put my coat on.
D `Have I had any Meusli?`
S `Yes, the bowl`s in the sink.`
D `I`m still hungry. I`ll make some cheese on toast.`
He got the cheese out, looked in the fridge for the bread, so I took it out of the bread bin, and the taxi came so I had to leave him to it.
10.15 a.m. Arrived at the hospital, and phoned him to tell him where I was.
The support group was excellent. No one knew about TP. They do now.
12.15 p.m. Phoned home to say I was waiting for the taxi home.
12.45 p.m. Arrived home.
D `The fire is no good, I can`t light it.`
S `The pilot light is out.`
D `It`s rubbish. Get a better one.`
S `This is the best I could get.`..........Lit the pilot. `You could have come today, it was really good.`
D `I`m sorry I didn`t come it was lonely by myself.`
S `Shall I see if you can come next time? The relatives had one support group, and those with Alzheimers had a memory clinic.`
D `I don`t need a memory clinic. There`s nothing wrong with my memory. You make me out to be ill, you make me out to be mad, there`s nothing wrong with me, I`m going tomorrow.`
And he went out....................
I got up this morning at 7a.m., it was my first day at the Relatives Support Group.
S `We`ve a busy week this week. I`ve got the relatives support group today, and you see the chiropodist on Thursday and I go on Friday.`
I should know better by now
7.30 a.m.
D `I`d better get up. What time is my appointment?`
S `You`re not going today, you go on Friday. I`m out this morning.`
D `To see about your feet?
S `No, to the relatives support group.`
D `For Alzheimers?`
S `Yes. To see what I can learn.`
D `I don`t have to come?`
S `You could, but you don`t have to.`
D `Good.`
We both got washed and dressed.
S `Will you go for the papers before I go out, then I`ll know you`re safe.`
D ` You don`t have to treat me like a child, I`ll go when I`m ready.`
S `Sorry!!!`
A bit later.....
D `What time is your appointment?`
S `I`ve to be there for 10.30.`
D `See if you can have an operation.`
S `No, I`m not going about my feet, I`m going to the relatives support group.`
D `I`m not going.`
S `I know.`
He went to get the papers.
When he came home, he had some cereal, but didn`t want anything else.
I put the fire on the lowest setting.
I put my coat on.
D `Have I had any Meusli?`
S `Yes, the bowl`s in the sink.`
D `I`m still hungry. I`ll make some cheese on toast.`
He got the cheese out, looked in the fridge for the bread, so I took it out of the bread bin, and the taxi came so I had to leave him to it.
10.15 a.m. Arrived at the hospital, and phoned him to tell him where I was.
The support group was excellent. No one knew about TP. They do now.
12.15 p.m. Phoned home to say I was waiting for the taxi home.
12.45 p.m. Arrived home.
D `The fire is no good, I can`t light it.`
S `The pilot light is out.`
D `It`s rubbish. Get a better one.`
S `This is the best I could get.`..........Lit the pilot. `You could have come today, it was really good.`
D `I`m sorry I didn`t come it was lonely by myself.`
S `Shall I see if you can come next time? The relatives had one support group, and those with Alzheimers had a memory clinic.`
D `I don`t need a memory clinic. There`s nothing wrong with my memory. You make me out to be ill, you make me out to be mad, there`s nothing wrong with me, I`m going tomorrow.`
And he went out....................
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Oh Sylvia I have just read your 'efforts' this am.
I have just had:
' Have I retired from .......?'
Yes you retired about 15 yrs ago
'So have I not been to ' retirement lunch' since 1992 (took ages to work out 15 from ?2007).
Yes you went last month
Oh
Yesterday morning :
Where am I?
At home at ...
So do I come here every night
Yes you live here all the time - have done for 21 yrs.
So what about Queen E Grammar School
You dont go there any more
Oh so where do I live
Here with me
Are we married?
I think we have very similar lives, Sylvia - it is wearing isn't? - and yet I still feel there many out there suffering more than we do. Now I have typed it out it seems so petty and insignificant.
Take care Jan
I have just had:
' Have I retired from .......?'
Yes you retired about 15 yrs ago
'So have I not been to ' retirement lunch' since 1992 (took ages to work out 15 from ?2007).
Yes you went last month
Oh
Yesterday morning :
Where am I?
At home at ...
So do I come here every night
Yes you live here all the time - have done for 21 yrs.
So what about Queen E Grammar School
You dont go there any more
Oh so where do I live
Here with me
Are we married?
I think we have very similar lives, Sylvia - it is wearing isn't? - and yet I still feel there many out there suffering more than we do. Now I have typed it out it seems so petty and insignificant.
Take care Jan
Dear, dear Sylvia, I really really hope it helps in some measure to write it all down like this because I just don't know how you stand it. Not so much the repetition, although I know how incredibly wearng that can be, but being cast in role of the "bad guy" all the time would just about drive me over the edge. You have my deepest sympathy and greatest admiration.
Love
Jennifer
P.S. Jan - I've just seen your post: what I said to Sylvia goes for you too. Petty and insignificant? No! Actually it sounds like hell to me. Love J
Love
Jennifer
P.S. Jan - I've just seen your post: what I said to Sylvia goes for you too. Petty and insignificant? No! Actually it sounds like hell to me. Love J
Thak you Jennifer, but it isn`t the hell for me that it sounds like to you, don`t ask me why.
As Jan said, it`s wearing, [but not petty or insignificant, Jan] depressing, and upsetting.
It does help to write it down, it allows me to collect my thoughts and remain focused on Dhiren`s illness, rather than on how much he gets on my nerves.
He arrived home at 2.55p.m., tired and weary after walking aimlessly around for 2 hours.
I asked if he was all right, he answered `yes` but it was in a cold tone of voice. So I left him alone.
Then he came to me and said he doesn`t feel well. He wants a doctor, a good doctor, that`s what he`s looking for. What can I say? There is no doctor who can make him better?
I told him Harold Wilson and President Regan had Alzheimers, and they couldn`t find doctors to make them better. If they couldn`t, how could I?
`Regan was a big shot,` he said. `He knew nothing.`
As Jan said, it`s wearing, [but not petty or insignificant, Jan] depressing, and upsetting.
It does help to write it down, it allows me to collect my thoughts and remain focused on Dhiren`s illness, rather than on how much he gets on my nerves.
He arrived home at 2.55p.m., tired and weary after walking aimlessly around for 2 hours.
I asked if he was all right, he answered `yes` but it was in a cold tone of voice. So I left him alone.
Then he came to me and said he doesn`t feel well. He wants a doctor, a good doctor, that`s what he`s looking for. What can I say? There is no doctor who can make him better?
I told him Harold Wilson and President Regan had Alzheimers, and they couldn`t find doctors to make them better. If they couldn`t, how could I?
`Regan was a big shot,` he said. `He knew nothing.`
This is so strange - I nearly quoted this on the 'tell or no tell' post. This is how I comforted David in the early days. If they can handle it, so can you!!! - I think it helped him to feel less 'labelled' as in dementia.
Perhaps I was fortunate that I used it in the early days. I think now he would say 'who are they'.
We just had a 15 mile round trip to Library. On the way home he said ' hope our house is ok, - 'why' said I - 'cos we have been away a few nights haven't we!' I did not reply.
Jennifer: As Sylvia said it is not that bad - I learn to handle it on most days with humour. It is not so bad for me as Sylvia as David does not treat me as 'bad guy' - in fact a little the opposite so it gets a bit emotional.
Off to sort out the 12 library books (6 of which have been read dozens of times).
Beckyjan
Our son has just phoned.
He was with his father for 4 hours on Sunday, watching the football, and was shocked at the deterioration since the end of the football season in May.
Paul visits frequently on his way home from work, but only stays for 20-30 minutes. We have a chat and a drink and then he goes home.
It`s only when they watch the football together, that they are alone, and Paul couldn`t believe the difference.
He was having to repeat answers to questions after 30 seconds or so, and all Dhiren`s reasoning and ability to discuss the game, seems to have been lost.
He was with his father for 4 hours on Sunday, watching the football, and was shocked at the deterioration since the end of the football season in May.
Paul visits frequently on his way home from work, but only stays for 20-30 minutes. We have a chat and a drink and then he goes home.
It`s only when they watch the football together, that they are alone, and Paul couldn`t believe the difference.
He was having to repeat answers to questions after 30 seconds or so, and all Dhiren`s reasoning and ability to discuss the game, seems to have been lost.
Jim has gone from being a Cricket lover to being a Football fanatic I say fanatic as he is obsesssed with Hull City football club he asks every day..
J. .. Are Hull Playing today?
me... No not until Saturday
J. ..what time is kick off?
me... There isn't a game today ...the game is on saturday.
J.... what time is it. (This question is asked at frequent intervals.)
me ...2 0'clock why?
J ...I want to listen to the match on the radio.
me ...What match?
J.. The hull City Match
me.. they are not playing today ...the game is on saturday.
He was never really interested in Football befor Alzheimer's the last time we went to Cricket he said " I don't like it now they have changed the rules. " This was a four day county match and the rules are still the same as they have always been.
J. .. Are Hull Playing today?
me... No not until Saturday
J. ..what time is kick off?
me... There isn't a game today ...the game is on saturday.
J.... what time is it. (This question is asked at frequent intervals.)
me ...2 0'clock why?
J ...I want to listen to the match on the radio.
me ...What match?
J.. The hull City Match
me.. they are not playing today ...the game is on saturday.
He was never really interested in Football befor Alzheimer's the last time we went to Cricket he said " I don't like it now they have changed the rules. " This was a four day county match and the rules are still the same as they have always been.
Oh Judith, have I been there.
This morning on waking 8 a.m.
D `What`s the plan for today.`
S `The shopping is being delivered, I`ve a pile of ironing to do and then we can go to the seafront and have a coffee.`
D `Not a bad life is it?`
Then
D `What`s this place?`
S `B**********.`
D `It`s nice and peaceful here, isn`t it?`
S `Yes.`
D `Do we have to work?`
S `No we are retired.`
D `How do we get our money?`
S `We get our pensions.`
D `How much do we get?`
S `£xxx.`
D `We`ve got no worries then.`
S` No worries.`
D `What`s todays plan?`............................
This morning on waking 8 a.m.
D `What`s the plan for today.`
S `The shopping is being delivered, I`ve a pile of ironing to do and then we can go to the seafront and have a coffee.`
D `Not a bad life is it?`
Then
D `What`s this place?`
S `B**********.`
D `It`s nice and peaceful here, isn`t it?`
S `Yes.`
D `Do we have to work?`
S `No we are retired.`
D `How do we get our money?`
S `We get our pensions.`
D `How much do we get?`
S `£xxx.`
D `We`ve got no worries then.`
S` No worries.`
D `What`s todays plan?`............................
On waking...........
D `I feel dizzy.`
S `Well stay in bed and rest.`
D `I`ve got to get up for work.`
S `You don`t work now, you`re retired.`
D `How do we get money then?`
S `We get our pensions.`
D `When did I stop working?`
S `You stopped working in 1998. You haven`t worked for 17 years.`
D `Have we got children?`
S `We`ve got Paul.`
D `How can I feed the children if I`m poorly.`
S `You don`t have to feed Paul. He is grown up with his own children. You are a grandfather.`
D `Do they live with us?`
S `No they have their own house.`
D `Is it just you and me in this house?`
S `Yes.`
D `I thought there were other people in this house.`
S `No, just you and me.`
D `Good.`
D `I feel dizzy.`
S `Well stay in bed and rest.`
D `I`ve got to get up for work.`
S `You don`t work now, you`re retired.`
D `How do we get money then?`
S `We get our pensions.`
D `When did I stop working?`
S `You stopped working in 1998. You haven`t worked for 17 years.`
D `Have we got children?`
S `We`ve got Paul.`
D `How can I feed the children if I`m poorly.`
S `You don`t have to feed Paul. He is grown up with his own children. You are a grandfather.`
D `Do they live with us?`
S `No they have their own house.`
D `Is it just you and me in this house?`
S `Yes.`
D `I thought there were other people in this house.`
S `No, just you and me.`
D `Good.`
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