2 years have passed, now things are getting difficult.

[Philthunder]

Hello my name is Phil. My partner Sue has Alzheimers and things have started to get bad. Apart from short term memory being a problem she is now having delusions. Why are we in this house, who are the workers, when there are no workers. I thought I could cope but now I am being accused of lying.
I am used to repeating where we are going, where the clothes are, hunting for the mugs new home, but I am now thinking what next. Can I leave the house, do the shopping. We were in a coffee shop and she wanted the toilet, I showed her. Next she was saying I can't lock it. I showed her. Then she was locked in. Fortunately they had a proper lock that a coin could open from the outside.
Any ideas what path I should be taking. Thanks

 

[Kevinl]

Hello and welcome from me.
Have a read round on here is my advise, I've been on here over 10 years now, wife first then mum too.
As a man caring for a woman people can sometimes perceive what is caring as being controlling behaviour, when there was an obvious age difference with mum it wasn't a problem plus mum was getting on a bit, however, my wife got early onset AZ and that was a bit different.
I've ended up in more than one ladies toilet with my wife.
From the sound of what you've said leaving her alone doesn't sound like a good idea to me, my wife was quite "clingy" I wasn't allowed out of her sight for one minute even if a friend or relative was with her.
As I say the first 10 years are the hardest and have a read around here. K

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Philthunder

It does sound as if your wife would not be safe if left alone.

Har you applied to social services for a carers assessment? This will help you get some support from carers who will stay with your wife while you get a break, even if it`s to do the shopping.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Philthunder and welcome from me also. I would agree with @Grannie G about arranging a needs and a carers assessment. As time goes on you really do need time to yourself.
I also find online shopping such a help. It means that any respite time that I have can be used for ‘me time’ activities.

 

[Ellie2018]

My bit of advice would be to see if day care is an option. I find I can cope with so much more with the respite of 3 days a week at day care.

 

[maisiecat]

I would advise you to get a radar key so you can use the disabled toilets. Sometimes I wait outside the door often I am summoned in because my husband can't remember what he is doing.
You need a radar key for lots of disabled toilets and when I said to my daughter I can't imagine why they lock them she helpfully told me its because people go in to shoot up. So now I always check the toilet before letting my husband go in.
I also agree with day care.My husband is now in a Nursing home but currently we are doing some kind of world tour of hospital appointments so I am the escort. Apparantly he can't go without her (me). It is all exhausting and you need time in your own head

 

[Philthunder]

Thanks sound advice, nice to know what others are doing, or not!