Getting a diagnosis

[Pmc70]

Hello everyone
My mum hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia by the doctor as she refuses to go and until she agrees to see him or the memory clinic there’s nothing he can do. Mum is 77 and had a severe stroke 13 years ago which left her in a wheelchair and with aphasia where everything she says comes out gobbity goop. Mum started imagining things about 5 years ago but we are now at the stage where she sees and hears people in the garden day and night, she accuses my dad of having an affair with the woman next door and insists my husband has planted cameras in the gas pipes to the extent she got herself out into the garden and down the side of the house and was trying to pull the pipes out. She has managed to phone the police at 3am ( to which we all got a shock door bell ring) because someone was in the garden (in her mind). She hits, kicks and throws things at my dad, she has locked him out in the garden. She has thrown things at my husband too. She shouts and screams at the people in the garden day and night and has now said they are trying to break in the front door. She’s says there is nothing wrong with her and that my dad and I are mad. Yesterday she was in the garden trying to open the shed door with a pair of secateurs because she says people are sleeping in there. I’m starting to get worried that she is going to hurt herself or go wandering out of the front door when we are all in bed asleep. How do we get a diagnosis when she refuses to see the doctor?

 

[Ellie2018]

I’m not an expert but I think if you leave it too long there will be a crisis which could be very unpleasant. I think if I were in this situation I would be going to the GP myself and also considering care. There may be some medication that will help. Do you or your Dad have Piwer if Attorney, that will help with the GP I think. Our practice asks you to register if you are caring for someone, which means that I can have appointments on his behalf, partly because I am against having some of the conversations about behaviour in front of him to maintain his dignity. Your Dad can’t live this way for too long, it will make him ill or he will be injured. You will read lots here that says you reach a point where you have to go with what someone needs rather than wants. Good luck with it.

 

[yoy]

You could try writing to the GP and listing all your concerns so that they can get these things on record, and, would the GP consider inviting her in for a "general check-up" 😉 😉 ? Some people have found this to be a good way round the problem if the GP is willing to play ball.
Alternatively, if she is in a wheelchair etc would they do a house call?
It sounds as though you need to get some help for your dad's sake as well, as things will probably only get worse if she does have dementia. Good luck.

 

[Pmc70]

I’m not an expert but I think if you leave it too long there will be a crisis which could be very unpleasant. I think if I were in this situation I would be going to the GP myself and also considering care. There may be some medication that will help. Do you or your Dad have Piwer if Attorney, that will help with the GP I think. Our practice asks you to register if you are caring for someone, which means that I can have appointments on his behalf, partly because I am against having some of the conversations about behaviour in front of him to maintain his dignity. Your Dad can’t live this way for too long, it will make him ill or he will be injured. You will read lots here that says you reach a point where you have to go with what someone needs rather than wants. Good luck with it.

Thank you

 

[Pmc70]

You could try writing to the GP and listing all your concerns so that they can get these things on record, and, would the GP consider inviting her in for a "general check-up" 😉 😉 ? Some people have found this to be a good way round the problem if the GP is willing to play ball.
Alternatively, if she is in a wheelchair etc would they do a house call?
It sounds as though you need to get some help for your dad's sake as well, as things will probably only get worse if she does have dementia. Good luck.

Thank you

 

[Pmc70]

I always thought that when someone had dementia that they got forgetful but her memory is fine, she knows who we all are, so all the time I’m doubting if she does have it. But when I read about vascular dementia it describes her to a T.

 

[canary]

I always thought that when someone had dementia that they got forgetful but her memory is fine, she knows who we all are, so all the time I’m doubting if she does have it. But when I read about vascular dementia it describes her to a T.

Yes, I think the general perception of what dementia is like, but it isnt just about the memory.
All the different types of dementia vary in the symptoms they start with, depending on which part of the brain the dementia starts in. But as the dementia progresses and there are additional symptoms they all get more and more alike

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Social services have Duty of Care, not you or your dad. I'd call Social Services Safeguarding and ask for an urgent assessment. Tell them she is at risk of harm and is a vulnerable adult (Use those terms) and add that your dad and the wider family are also in danger due to her delusional angry outbursts.

 

[Pmc70]

Thank you all for your replies, I think I will contact the doctor again

 

[ChristinaSeal]

Hello everyone
My mum hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia by the doctor as she refuses to go and until she agrees to see him or the memory clinic there’s nothing he can do. Mum is 77 and had a severe stroke 13 years ago which left her in a wheelchair and with aphasia where everything she says comes out gobbity goop. Mum started imagining things about 5 years ago but we are now at the stage where she sees and hears people in the garden day and night, she accuses my dad of having an affair with the woman next door and insists my husband has planted cameras in the gas pipes to the extent she got herself out into the garden and down the side of the house and was trying to pull the pipes out. She has managed to phone the police at 3am ( to which we all got a shock door bell ring) because someone was in the garden (in her mind). She hits, kicks and throws things at my dad, she has locked him out in the garden. She has thrown things at my husband too. She shouts and screams at the people in the garden day and night and has now said they are trying to break in the front door. She’s says there is nothing wrong with her and that my dad and I are mad. Yesterday she was in the garden trying to open the shed door with a pair of secateurs because she says people are sleeping in there. I’m starting to get worried that she is going to hurt herself or go wandering out of the front door when we are all in bed asleep. How do we get a diagnosis when she refuses to see the doctor?

I am so sorry you are going through this. Does she take any medications for other health problems? You could use that as an excuse to see the doctor for refills and address it then.

 

[Pmc70]

After a telephone call with the doctor he has prescribed her Clonazepam and after a very bad night we finally managed to get her to take a tablet and she had a quiet night. Has anyone else had experience with this medication