So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
From another one, who reads daily but posts very infrequently: I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas, in as much as your personal circumstances allow, and a happy, peaceful New Year!
I feel that to say that I enjoy reading your posts would be wrong somehow - "enjoyment" reading about somebody else's troubles? - but I do find them very interesting, sometimes very moving and occasionally even inspiring. So thank you to you all!
Ann, I think that the photos you posted this morning are really great - the third one down: the one with the gate - is actually quite painterly. Very impressive!
I feel that to say that I enjoy reading your posts would be wrong somehow - "enjoyment" reading about somebody else's troubles? - but I do find them very interesting, sometimes very moving and occasionally even inspiring. So thank you to you all!
Ann, I think that the photos you posted this morning are really great - the third one down: the one with the gate - is actually quite painterly. Very impressive!
Dearest Ann, I want to wish you and the entire Mac family the happiest possible Christmas. (I also think you could do with that Bailey's on the sofa a bit sooner, so maybe this year the family makes the shortbread and mince pies together, and/or tomorrow?)
And to all the Bizarrites, a happy Christmas, a peaceful and healthy New Year, and much love and hugs and thanks to you all, for everything.
And to all the Bizarrites, a happy Christmas, a peaceful and healthy New Year, and much love and hugs and thanks to you all, for everything.
Morning all,
I hope each and everyone of you have had a lovely Christmas. Slugsta, have been thinking of you, as I know that things like the first Christmas without a loved one can be so hard to get through. I hope that you are OK, hun xxxx
It's been an odd Christmas here, with OH and son not home till Christmas day evening, and OH working for a good part of every day so far. Even so, the times we have all had together have been lovely, so not complaining. Presents were very much liked, Christmas dinner saw empty plates all round, and its been fab just to have all the family home
I got very spoilt, with my usual zoo pass, a gift voucher that I spent on a lot of new clothes in the sales yesterday, and the new Sarah Millican book from OH - and the kids really went to town, giving me a filofax, lush goodies - and a new kindle!
We went to see Mil on Christmas day. The timing coincided with lunch being served - we had warned the CH that might be the case, because as I've said, OH could only get there for a short time in between finishing work and going to collect our son from Preston. Mil wasn't in the best of moods, quite agitated, so I think it actually helped that we went to a quiet corner of the lounge and that Mil had a small table to eat at, set away from the main table's and quieter. I don't think she knew who we were - she sort of knew she knew us, but not how, IYKWIM? They served her dinner just after I got there with the girls, and thankfully, that worked as a distraction on this occasion. She didn't notice that OH wasn't there - he had been held up at work and didn't arrive until nearly 45 minutes after he was hoping to get there - and nor did she seemed to know that our son was also missing. She tucked into her dinner, with obvious enjoyment - even the Christmas pud, which she (pre-dementia) couldn't stand! OH arrived as she finished pud, so we produced the presents - and to be honest, it seemed to confuse her at first - she kept turning the wrapped gifts over and over, and didn't seem to understand that they were her's to open. Once she did start opening them, there were a lot of OTT, odd responses. She was punching one fist into the air and making a loud, exaggerated 'OOOOOOO' noises. It looked very funny, and she joined in the laughter, but to me it was all a bit manic and I knew that the agitation was bubbling away, very near the surface. I'm glad that I did get the last minute small gifts for her to give to us - though I don't think she would have been upset by not having them to give us, she seemed to enjoy handing them over and giving us tales about how she had bought this one from that shop, or had 'queued for hours' to get another.
One thing that stood out was that there was something very odd about her speech at times. She seemed to get 'stuck' on certain words - not in that she couldn't find the word, but in that she would repeat some words over and over again, very rapidly, as she said them, like a stuck record, in the middle of a sentence. So we got things like 'I went downanddownanddownanddownanddownanddown the road to get that'. She seemed oblivious to this happening. OH had to leave after about half an hour, and as oldest was going with him to pick up son, we left at the same time. She wasn't really bothered. Both girls said that they thought that Nan was very switched on and alert - and she was, in one sense. But I was sure that the OTT reactions and just the look on her face at times signified that she was not far from some agitated behaviour.
Son wanted to see his Nan and give her some gifts from him, so yesterday mroning we headed to the CH again. The staff who let us in immediately explained that after we had left the day before, Mil had blown - she had attacked members of staff leaving scratches and bruises, and hit another resident in the face She suggested I had a word with the nursing senior - who is lovely - so while the kids went to Nan (who we were told seemed to be in a good mood at that time) I went to speak to the senior, S.
They are pretty concerned about Mil and her behaviour at the moment. She is getting more and more physically aggressive and I got a strange feeling of deja vu because S said that they just couldn't believe how resistant she is to any form of distraction, that absolutely nothing they say or do makes any difference when she is heading for a melt down As you guys all know, that has been a feature of Mil's dementia all along, its something we experienced, something the staff at both day care centre's experienced, and even something commented on and experienced when she was in hospital. S added that the explosion on Christmas day was the worst that they had seen so far. The resident she had hit was one that she has targetted a few times, though no one knows why (apparently he isn't at all aggressive or given to being unpleasant) - but Mil seems to have an intense dislike for him, and they spend a lot of time keeping them apart, as MIl will head for him when she is in a bad mood. S described Mil's behaviour the day before as 'unbelievable' saying she had never seen anything like it. And I was instantly worried that this was going to lead to us being told that Mil couldn't stay there. So I asked was it likely that they would have to say they couldn't keep her. S told me not at this stage - Mil's behaviour is bad, but at the moment they are coping with her and they will continue to do so for as long as they possibly can. The tipping point would be if the aggression increased to the point that it was constant and that other residents would be in danger of being seriously hurt. Mil was put on quetiapine a few weeks ago, by the GP, when this current phase of aggression started to be a problem. And again that feeling of deja vu, as S told me that though initially they thought it helped, very quickly Mil seems to have become used to it, and already, it's not having any impact on her at all. Boy - how many times did that happen when she was here with us? How many different meds were tried and how many times did she quickly build up a tolerance to them? However, she is on the smallest dose at the moment, so as S put it, there is 'wriggle room' to increase and hopefully manage her behaviour or stop it getting any worse for a 'good while' longer. S also said - very gently - that Mil was deteriorating in other ways, and that what they hoped to do was to manage her behaviour until the next big step down in the dementia, because it's likely that as that happened, Mil would lose the ability to be so aggressive or lose her mobility, which would keep the other residents safe.
I went to join the kids and Mil feeling partly reassured by the homes obvious determination to hold onto Mil, but there is now also that possibility that they won't be able to keep her hanging over her future - and once again, dementia has left me hoping and praying for a quick deterioration, to render her incapable of the aggression, which feels very wrong and has set the guilt monster nagging at me again. I have the stick to hand, to bash him with, but he is a persistant devil, isn't he?
Mil was - thankfully - in the best form I've seen her for ages! Again, I am not sure to what extent she knew exactly who we are, but she was clearly relaxed and very 'switched on' . She hasn't seen oldest for quite a few months and commented on how much her hair had grown. She also turned to me and announced that my hair looked darker and when did I dye it? And she really seemed to enjoy her gifts from son - a teddy in Limerick City football strip, a tin of biscuits, with Mrs Brown on the front, and a 'fiddle muff' - sounds very odd, but its a reversable muff, with buttons and beads and ribbons work into the knit (and all different types of knitting, for added texture), that she can play with and she loved it! She kept stroking it, putting her hands in it, playing with the beads and bobbles - she even worked out how to turn it inside out! She left us amazed by being able to read the slogan on the side of the Mrs Brown biscuit tin - it being Mrs Brown, the language was a lot ripe, and Mil found that extremely funny, though it did lead to her repeating a very rude word several times, in between guffaws of laughter! We were stunned - the last report said that Mil was now unable to read - maybe if they test her again, they need to throw in a few swear words?
The odd speech was still evident though - she commented that she had never 'seen a teddy dressed in Limerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcity football kit' before. But, she was all smiles and laughs, and when I handed her the gift that I had got her for her grandson, she gave it to him and when he unwrapped the toiletries and she saw the picture of David Beckham on the box, she squealed that he was 'nice' grabbed it back and covered the pic in kisses, laughing her socks off as she did it.
We stayed for about 45 minutes, and again, she wasn't bothered when we left. Talking in the car, we realised that certain upsetting features of the dementia do seem to have disappeared as the dementia has worsened - no talk of gun men or babby's for several months now, no begging us to take her home or extreme upset when we leave. No mention for several weeks now , of her believing that OH is her husband. Its a bloody shame that the aggression has got worse instead of better and that we are left hoping for another deterioration that will see that vanish too
Right - I've ages off loading on you guys (again!) - for those that have managed to get through that mega post, thank you - and conratulations! I had better shift myself and at least get dressed and start the usual jobs around the house!
Hope you all have enjoyed, and continue to enjoy Christmas - take care everyone xxxx
I hope each and everyone of you have had a lovely Christmas. Slugsta, have been thinking of you, as I know that things like the first Christmas without a loved one can be so hard to get through. I hope that you are OK, hun xxxx
It's been an odd Christmas here, with OH and son not home till Christmas day evening, and OH working for a good part of every day so far. Even so, the times we have all had together have been lovely, so not complaining. Presents were very much liked, Christmas dinner saw empty plates all round, and its been fab just to have all the family home
I got very spoilt, with my usual zoo pass, a gift voucher that I spent on a lot of new clothes in the sales yesterday, and the new Sarah Millican book from OH - and the kids really went to town, giving me a filofax, lush goodies - and a new kindle! We went to see Mil on Christmas day. The timing coincided with lunch being served - we had warned the CH that might be the case, because as I've said, OH could only get there for a short time in between finishing work and going to collect our son from Preston. Mil wasn't in the best of moods, quite agitated, so I think it actually helped that we went to a quiet corner of the lounge and that Mil had a small table to eat at, set away from the main table's and quieter. I don't think she knew who we were - she sort of knew she knew us, but not how, IYKWIM? They served her dinner just after I got there with the girls, and thankfully, that worked as a distraction on this occasion. She didn't notice that OH wasn't there - he had been held up at work and didn't arrive until nearly 45 minutes after he was hoping to get there - and nor did she seemed to know that our son was also missing. She tucked into her dinner, with obvious enjoyment - even the Christmas pud, which she (pre-dementia) couldn't stand! OH arrived as she finished pud, so we produced the presents - and to be honest, it seemed to confuse her at first - she kept turning the wrapped gifts over and over, and didn't seem to understand that they were her's to open. Once she did start opening them, there were a lot of OTT, odd responses. She was punching one fist into the air and making a loud, exaggerated 'OOOOOOO' noises. It looked very funny, and she joined in the laughter, but to me it was all a bit manic and I knew that the agitation was bubbling away, very near the surface. I'm glad that I did get the last minute small gifts for her to give to us - though I don't think she would have been upset by not having them to give us, she seemed to enjoy handing them over and giving us tales about how she had bought this one from that shop, or had 'queued for hours' to get another.
One thing that stood out was that there was something very odd about her speech at times. She seemed to get 'stuck' on certain words - not in that she couldn't find the word, but in that she would repeat some words over and over again, very rapidly, as she said them, like a stuck record, in the middle of a sentence. So we got things like 'I went downanddownanddownanddownanddownanddown the road to get that'. She seemed oblivious to this happening. OH had to leave after about half an hour, and as oldest was going with him to pick up son, we left at the same time. She wasn't really bothered. Both girls said that they thought that Nan was very switched on and alert - and she was, in one sense. But I was sure that the OTT reactions and just the look on her face at times signified that she was not far from some agitated behaviour.
Son wanted to see his Nan and give her some gifts from him, so yesterday mroning we headed to the CH again. The staff who let us in immediately explained that after we had left the day before, Mil had blown - she had attacked members of staff leaving scratches and bruises, and hit another resident in the face
She suggested I had a word with the nursing senior - who is lovely - so while the kids went to Nan (who we were told seemed to be in a good mood at that time) I went to speak to the senior, S.They are pretty concerned about Mil and her behaviour at the moment. She is getting more and more physically aggressive and I got a strange feeling of deja vu because S said that they just couldn't believe how resistant she is to any form of distraction, that absolutely nothing they say or do makes any difference when she is heading for a melt down
As you guys all know, that has been a feature of Mil's dementia all along, its something we experienced, something the staff at both day care centre's experienced, and even something commented on and experienced when she was in hospital. S added that the explosion on Christmas day was the worst that they had seen so far. The resident she had hit was one that she has targetted a few times, though no one knows why (apparently he isn't at all aggressive or given to being unpleasant) - but Mil seems to have an intense dislike for him, and they spend a lot of time keeping them apart, as MIl will head for him when she is in a bad mood. S described Mil's behaviour the day before as 'unbelievable' saying she had never seen anything like it. And I was instantly worried that this was going to lead to us being told that Mil couldn't stay there. So I asked was it likely that they would have to say they couldn't keep her. S told me not at this stage - Mil's behaviour is bad, but at the moment they are coping with her and they will continue to do so for as long as they possibly can. The tipping point would be if the aggression increased to the point that it was constant and that other residents would be in danger of being seriously hurt. Mil was put on quetiapine a few weeks ago, by the GP, when this current phase of aggression started to be a problem. And again that feeling of deja vu, as S told me that though initially they thought it helped, very quickly Mil seems to have become used to it, and already, it's not having any impact on her at all. Boy - how many times did that happen when she was here with us? How many different meds were tried and how many times did she quickly build up a tolerance to them? However, she is on the smallest dose at the moment, so as S put it, there is 'wriggle room' to increase and hopefully manage her behaviour or stop it getting any worse for a 'good while' longer. S also said - very gently - that Mil was deteriorating in other ways, and that what they hoped to do was to manage her behaviour until the next big step down in the dementia, because it's likely that as that happened, Mil would lose the ability to be so aggressive or lose her mobility, which would keep the other residents safe.I went to join the kids and Mil feeling partly reassured by the homes obvious determination to hold onto Mil, but there is now also that possibility that they won't be able to keep her hanging over her future - and once again, dementia has left me hoping and praying for a quick deterioration, to render her incapable of the aggression, which feels very wrong and has set the guilt monster nagging at me again. I have the stick to hand, to bash him with, but he is a persistant devil, isn't he?
Mil was - thankfully - in the best form I've seen her for ages! Again, I am not sure to what extent she knew exactly who we are, but she was clearly relaxed and very 'switched on' . She hasn't seen oldest for quite a few months and commented on how much her hair had grown. She also turned to me and announced that my hair looked darker and when did I dye it? And she really seemed to enjoy her gifts from son - a teddy in Limerick City football strip, a tin of biscuits, with Mrs Brown on the front, and a 'fiddle muff' - sounds very odd, but its a reversable muff, with buttons and beads and ribbons work into the knit (and all different types of knitting, for added texture), that she can play with and she loved it! She kept stroking it, putting her hands in it, playing with the beads and bobbles - she even worked out how to turn it inside out! She left us amazed by being able to read the slogan on the side of the Mrs Brown biscuit tin - it being Mrs Brown, the language was a lot ripe, and Mil found that extremely funny, though it did lead to her repeating a very rude word several times, in between guffaws of laughter! We were stunned - the last report said that Mil was now unable to read - maybe if they test her again, they need to throw in a few swear words?
The odd speech was still evident though - she commented that she had never 'seen a teddy dressed in Limerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcitylimerickcity football kit' before. But, she was all smiles and laughs, and when I handed her the gift that I had got her for her grandson, she gave it to him and when he unwrapped the toiletries and she saw the picture of David Beckham on the box, she squealed that he was 'nice' grabbed it back and covered the pic in kisses, laughing her socks off as she did it.
We stayed for about 45 minutes, and again, she wasn't bothered when we left. Talking in the car, we realised that certain upsetting features of the dementia do seem to have disappeared as the dementia has worsened - no talk of gun men or babby's for several months now, no begging us to take her home or extreme upset when we leave. No mention for several weeks now , of her believing that OH is her husband. Its a bloody shame that the aggression has got worse instead of better and that we are left hoping for another deterioration that will see that vanish too
Right - I've ages off loading on you guys (again!) - for those that have managed to get through that mega post, thank you - and conratulations! I had better shift myself and at least get dressed and start the usual jobs around the house!
Hope you all have enjoyed, and continue to enjoy Christmas - take care everyone xxxx
Morning Ann!
If mil is only on a low dose of quetiapine, it can be increased quite a lot. This happened to OH in his delusional/hallucinatory phase. It did sort that problem out, though, and then he was put on memantine to keep him level. No good taking quetiapine in high doses for a long time!
I’m pleased everybody liked there presents, and am expecting more zoo pix ASAP!
Have you any snow? It blew hard and rained last evening, and it’s just started raining again. My stepson is travelling from East Midlands to Essex today, and up here tomorrow. However, I see there’s lots of snow in the East Midlands, so not sure what is happening. His main car has broken down, so it’s the Mini or nothing!
Well, I must go and start a trifle for tomorrow! Everything has to be done in short - very short - bursts to save my back! I’m still waiting for rheumatology appt, which was due in November! ( of course, she didn’t say which November!).
Hope everybody has recovered from Christmas and is preparing for the New Year! Those were the days!
If mil is only on a low dose of quetiapine, it can be increased quite a lot. This happened to OH in his delusional/hallucinatory phase. It did sort that problem out, though, and then he was put on memantine to keep him level. No good taking quetiapine in high doses for a long time!
I’m pleased everybody liked there presents, and am expecting more zoo pix ASAP!
Have you any snow? It blew hard and rained last evening, and it’s just started raining again. My stepson is travelling from East Midlands to Essex today, and up here tomorrow. However, I see there’s lots of snow in the East Midlands, so not sure what is happening. His main car has broken down, so it’s the Mini or nothing!
Well, I must go and start a trifle for tomorrow! Everything has to be done in short - very short - bursts to save my back! I’m still waiting for rheumatology appt, which was due in November! ( of course, she didn’t say which November!).
Hope everybody has recovered from Christmas and is preparing for the New Year! Those were the days!
Ann, while I'm reassured that the home and nursing senior S (is that the nurse in charge of the ward?) seem committed to keeping MIL st this home, and her and everyone else safe, I did read your post with a sinking feeling. Yes, she has been here before, with the aggression, the behaviour, and the medication resistance.
I'm so sorry.
The repetitive speech thing is something I've not run across. If I can remember, I will ask my mother's neurologist about that. You have to wonder if that's the dementia or a medication issue-I'd suspect the dementia, but you never know.
It's too bad the family time has been fragmented by schedules but I'm glad that it's been good and you've been with your kids. I hope you aren't comatose or in massive pain from all the preparations.
I've seen reports of snow; have you any? I know there was an article in the BBC about snow in the States but we only got a dusting, not enough to disrupt anything. It is quite cold today, only 5 F when I got up this morning. That's 15 below zero in Celsius! But the sun is shining and I'm wrapped up warmly for errands and don't care. I had a dentist appointment this morning and then an early lunch at the cafe at the fancy grocery store nearby, and now I'm going to think of something for the evening meal and get whatever I need.
We had a very nice Christmas and I can only hope everyone here did as well. I'll write more later, here and/or on my (neglected) thread, but the volunteer work with friends was great, the evening with them afterwards was quiet and lovely, and Christmas Day itself was okay. The care home was difficult as expected, but the drive to my aunt's was uneventful and time with family there was good. My older cousin and his wife are sick and could not come and that was disappointing, but unavoidable.
I have to finish the errands now but do want to tell everyone that at the last minute, I decided we should make mince pies, and they not only turned out well but were hugely popular. So we may have a new Christmas tradition, inspired in no small part by reading all the references here on TP to mince pies. I have no idea if they came out the way they are supposed to taste, but they were delicious. Now: what do I do with all the leftover mincemeat I made?
I'm so sorry.
The repetitive speech thing is something I've not run across. If I can remember, I will ask my mother's neurologist about that. You have to wonder if that's the dementia or a medication issue-I'd suspect the dementia, but you never know.
It's too bad the family time has been fragmented by schedules but I'm glad that it's been good and you've been with your kids. I hope you aren't comatose or in massive pain from all the preparations.
I've seen reports of snow; have you any? I know there was an article in the BBC about snow in the States but we only got a dusting, not enough to disrupt anything. It is quite cold today, only 5 F when I got up this morning. That's 15 below zero in Celsius! But the sun is shining and I'm wrapped up warmly for errands and don't care. I had a dentist appointment this morning and then an early lunch at the cafe at the fancy grocery store nearby, and now I'm going to think of something for the evening meal and get whatever I need.
We had a very nice Christmas and I can only hope everyone here did as well. I'll write more later, here and/or on my (neglected) thread, but the volunteer work with friends was great, the evening with them afterwards was quiet and lovely, and Christmas Day itself was okay. The care home was difficult as expected, but the drive to my aunt's was uneventful and time with family there was good. My older cousin and his wife are sick and could not come and that was disappointing, but unavoidable.
I have to finish the errands now but do want to tell everyone that at the last minute, I decided we should make mince pies, and they not only turned out well but were hugely popular. So we may have a new Christmas tradition, inspired in no small part by reading all the references here on TP to mince pies. I have no idea if they came out the way they are supposed to taste, but they were delicious. Now: what do I do with all the leftover mincemeat I made?
Evening all ( definitely 'evening' when it is dark outside, whatever the actual time),
Ann, I am so sorry that MIL is exhibiting so much agitation and aggression Yes, it does seem to be a repeated pattern that she initially responds well to a medication but the effects soon seem to wear off. I hope the quetiapine does the trick and manages to keep her calm for as long as it is needed. I know how hard it is to wish for a deterioration so that a certain behaviour will stop - and how hard the GM tries to beat us up about wishing that (((hugs)))
It sounds as if the CH are currently able to cope with the situation - and their well developed affection for MIL will also be helping when they are dealing with her and/or making decisions about her care.
I am glad that everyone received lots of lovely gifts and that MIL was pleased with what she was given.
BTW, that odd repetitive speech is called 'palilalia' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia
Spamar, I am sorry that your back is so painful and hope you don't have to wait much longer for that appointment(((hugs)))
We have had a pleasant few days with various family and friends. Son went back to London this afternoon as he had some work to get done. He could probably have worked here but says he tries to keep work away from his time here - I certainly cannot argue with that!
I have been fine, just a few tears here and there. However, I am aware that I haven't actually allowed myself to process that Mum has gone and grieve over it. I am also aware that it will happen at some stage.
We are very lucky in that the weather here has been very wet but mild. It is cooler today but we are not expected to have any really cold weather for the next few days at least. I hope everyone is sfe, snug and warm.
Ann, I am so sorry that MIL is exhibiting so much agitation and aggression
Yes, it does seem to be a repeated pattern that she initially responds well to a medication but the effects soon seem to wear off. I hope the quetiapine does the trick and manages to keep her calm for as long as it is needed. I know how hard it is to wish for a deterioration so that a certain behaviour will stop - and how hard the GM tries to beat us up about wishing that (((hugs)))It sounds as if the CH are currently able to cope with the situation - and their well developed affection for MIL will also be helping when they are dealing with her and/or making decisions about her care.
I am glad that everyone received lots of lovely gifts and that MIL was pleased with what she was given.
BTW, that odd repetitive speech is called 'palilalia' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia
Spamar, I am sorry that your back is so painful and hope you don't have to wait much longer for that appointment(((hugs)))
We have had a pleasant few days with various family and friends. Son went back to London this afternoon as he had some work to get done. He could probably have worked here but says he tries to keep work away from his time here - I certainly cannot argue with that!
I have been fine, just a few tears here and there. However, I am aware that I haven't actually allowed myself to process that Mum has gone and grieve over it. I am also aware that it will happen at some stage.
We are very lucky in that the weather here has been very wet but mild. It is cooler today but we are not expected to have any really cold weather for the next few days at least. I hope everyone is sfe, snug and warm.
Sorry Amy, I x posted with you!
I am glad that your Christmas went well - and that the mince pies were enjoyed (I am guessing they are not a traditional part of your Christmas?). I have never found much to do with left-over mincemeat, my only suggestions would be more mince-pies or a large tart/pie/flan or to use as the stuffing insode baked apples. Maybe someone else will have more ideas.
I am glad that your Christmas went well - and that the mince pies were enjoyed (I am guessing they are not a traditional part of your Christmas?). I have never found much to do with left-over mincemeat, my only suggestions would be more mince-pies or a large tart/pie/flan or to use as the stuffing insode baked apples. Maybe someone else will have more ideas.
I used to get the croissant dough that is sold in tubes. Undo it all, cut each croissant in half lengthwise, add mincemeat, roll up and cook. Delicious! Planned to do it again this year, but shop has stopped selling the dough!
Mincemeat tart, or mincemeat and apple tart. Mincemeat keeps for ages anyway.
Mincemeat tart, or mincemeat and apple tart. Mincemeat keeps for ages anyway.
I have to admit to keeping a jar of mincemeat from last year and using this -- it was gorgeous! I assume you are 'allowed' to do that.
Ann - no guilt monsters - yours is the only compassionate reaction to this situation. It may not be the reaction we're programmed to think is 'right' but that's because modern society very rarely allows us - and indeed tries to stop us - from truly considering that there are worse things than death.
Ann - no guilt monsters - yours is the only compassionate reaction to this situation. It may not be the reaction we're programmed to think is 'right' but that's because modern society very rarely allows us - and indeed tries to stop us - from truly considering that there are worse things than death.
I think it’s admitting to those feelings. Certainly I thought them ( and even now the tears are coming) but I don’t think I ever spoke or wrote them.
No, that’s enough. Have a good day, everyone. I’ve got stepdau, her OH, stepson and his family coming. Stepdau is doing the main meal. Couldn’t cope without that! Would have to take the lot to a pub! Forgot the dog! My avatar. I’ll show him what he looks like with a snowflake!
No, that’s enough. Have a good day, everyone. I’ve got stepdau, her OH, stepson and his family coming. Stepdau is doing the main meal. Couldn’t cope without that! Would have to take the lot to a pub! Forgot the dog! My avatar. I’ll show him what he looks like with a snowflake!
Sorry, stupid iPad wouldn’t let me reply to only part of your post...and it is the frivolous part I was replying to...if I have an old jar of mincemeat, I spice it up with a little brandy!
As to the other half of your post...I really think we have got it wrong sometimes. Having watched my husband, my brother in law...and then heard about my present husband’s late wife’s death ...we truly wouldn’t let an animal suffer that way. Why, oh why...when there is NO hope for life left, do we let people carry on suffering? Sorry, this is really contentious...and I fully understand the concepts of slippery slopes and thin ends of wedges...I am talking about the last few days of life.
I’m with you on this
My biggest “keeps me awake at night” thought when mum was in care for 4 years was
IF my mum hadn’t had the 6 weeks intensive care when she first got ill with pneumonia in 2013 but also IF I was “allowed” to use the non registered EPA which categorically stated mum didn’t want to have any life support/intervention of any kind if she ever got gravely ill....
She would not have had to go through the indignity she went through. At the beginning she was aware that she had been kept alive and would castigate me. “Why did you let this happen?? I trusted you to look after me and you’ve allow me to be like this”
There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t stop the doctors saving mum. That was their duty of care, so I was told....
very hard to deal with but I am also aware it’s a very slippery slope as not all family members have best interest in mind for the person with dementia do they
Sorry for that rant
Hoping everyone has as good a new year as possible xxx
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Apologies but I need a rant about the GP surgery.
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