Welcome to TP
That’s brilliant
What a lovely person you are
Hope your mum is soon out of hospital xx
So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
Welcome to TP
That’s brilliant
What a lovely person you are
Hope your mum is soon out of hospital xx
Got something in my eye too reading this RedLou. Lovely story. And very poignant as my mum was an orphan...
Red, that brought a wee lump to my throat too - what a lovely story <3
Hope you get over the flu soon xxxx
Ez2610 - welcome to TP - and thanks for making me splutter my coffee all over my keyboard at the tale of your Mum asking if the roast lamb was the cat That's just priceless
I'm so glad that your Mum's confabulations and delusions are not upsetting for her, and I agree with 2jays, your clearly a lovely person doing a brilliant job of caring I too hope your Mum is soon well and out of hospital x
2jays - that's an idea - I'll see if I can find a musical card that I can disassemble for the loo - it would just be the finishing touch
Hope you get over the flu soon xxxx
Ez2610 - welcome to TP - and thanks for making me splutter my coffee all over my keyboard at the tale of your Mum asking if the roast lamb was the cat
That's just priceless I'm so glad that your Mum's confabulations and delusions are not upsetting for her, and I agree with 2jays, your clearly a lovely person doing a brilliant job of caring
I too hope your Mum is soon well and out of hospital x2jays - that's an idea - I'll see if I can find a musical card that I can disassemble for the loo - it would just be the finishing touch
Morning all,
Just a quickie as I need to be out soon but felt I had to respond. The elephant and owl stories made me tear-up, no excuses about dust from me
Hi and welcome ez. It does sound as if your mum's confabulations do not distress her, which is the main thing. It does show how careful we sometimes have to be with TV viewing - as Ann also discovered.
Ann, I love the idea of a motion-activated something in the bathroom!
Just a quickie as I need to be out soon but felt I had to respond. The elephant and owl stories made me tear-up, no excuses about dust from me
Hi and welcome ez. It does sound as if your mum's confabulations do not distress her, which is the main thing. It does show how careful we sometimes have to be with TV viewing - as Ann also discovered.
Ann, I love the idea of a motion-activated something in the bathroom!
Crumbs, I’m coming round to do a loo inspection! Sounds like great fun!
I’m preening, got to supermarket at 08:02 this morning! Certainly didn’t want to battle with the masses later on. I know what it can be like. Can’t think why people buy so much. Says she, who spent 3 times as much as usual, though it did include a bottle of local gin. That’s me fixed for the holiday. Hic!
Plus, this morning, blackbird, pied wagtail and brambling all around/on feeders. Made an interesting mix!
You know the pieds are all individual, don’t you? Tell them apart by design of black and white on their heads. All mine here seem to be quite white.
Didn’t go to concert last night, sloth ruled. Just felt very tired and fed up. Watched some tv ( IK Brunel, one of my heroes!), then went to bed. Probably explains how easy it was to get up this morning!
Nothing much for rest of week. The plan is to wrap presents tomorrow. Neighbours came in with a plant for me, she didn’t think she could keep it another week!!
Keep shopping!
I’m preening, got to supermarket at 08:02 this morning! Certainly didn’t want to battle with the masses later on. I know what it can be like. Can’t think why people buy so much. Says she, who spent 3 times as much as usual, though it did include a bottle of local gin. That’s me fixed for the holiday. Hic!
Plus, this morning, blackbird, pied wagtail and brambling all around/on feeders. Made an interesting mix!
You know the pieds are all individual, don’t you? Tell them apart by design of black and white on their heads. All mine here seem to be quite white.
Didn’t go to concert last night, sloth ruled. Just felt very tired and fed up. Watched some tv ( IK Brunel, one of my heroes!), then went to bed. Probably explains how easy it was to get up this morning!
Nothing much for rest of week. The plan is to wrap presents tomorrow. Neighbours came in with a plant for me, she didn’t think she could keep it another week!!
Keep shopping!
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Lovely, 2Jays, I’ve been threatening to get some mealworms for my local robin. You don’t have to be in the garden for more than 5 mins, and it’s there. Now that’s an excuse to go out tomorrow for coffee. To get to my fav coffee shop, you have to pass a place called ‘Wild About Birds’. No prizes got guessing what they sell, yes, horse food, dog food, and all associated products! Plus bird food!
Seriously teary here from owl and elephant stories as well!
Ann, maybe the pound shop (we have dollar stores in the US) would have an inexpensive noisy Christmas card you could use for the loo? They are expensive at the proper card shops or even the chemist (here, anyway) although probably worth the investment for the payoff!
I'm feeling very lacking in loo decor. May have to search the basement for decorations!
Decorated the tree last night and need to get a decent photo for the Christmas tree thread.
Ann, I SO hear you on Christmas gifts for MIL. And I'm sorry. Thanks for the kind words and here are ((((hugs)))) for you, also.
Ann, maybe the pound shop (we have dollar stores in the US) would have an inexpensive noisy Christmas card you could use for the loo? They are expensive at the proper card shops or even the chemist (here, anyway) although probably worth the investment for the payoff!
I'm feeling very lacking in loo decor. May have to search the basement for decorations!
Decorated the tree last night and need to get a decent photo for the Christmas tree thread.
Ann, I SO hear you on Christmas gifts for MIL. And I'm sorry. Thanks for the kind words and here are ((((hugs)))) for you, also.
Morning all,
Lovely pic 2jays - I have (I think) 3 robins who visit fairly regularly. One older bird who will come quite close and will also 'shout' if I don't fill up the table quickly enough, and two shyer ones, who hide in the wisteria, then dart onto the table to grab something then fly off - the only reason I know that there are two of 'em is because they seen to always be together - maybe sibling fledglings?
Spamar, mealworms are very popular here with a lot of the birds. I fill a plastic bowl (from an old picnic set) with a mixture of peanuts, seed, suet pellets and mealworms to put on the bird table, and the blackbirds, thrush, sparrows, and starlings definitely seem to pick them out first - in fact the starlings make one heck of a mess, flicking the other bits of food out of the way (and usually off the table) to get at them.
Haven't found the time to find a card yet, Amy - but the pound shop is a good idea
Had a very busy weekend, which included (at last) a visit to Mil yesterday - which was just horrible OH and I arrived, and as we turned into the hall that leads to the lounge, we could hear someone yelling. It turned out to be Mil. She was just inside the lounge door, trying to get out, and gripping onto the arm of the staff who was trying to distract her, with Mil digging her nails into the poor womans arm as hard as she could. The staff was quietly telling Mil to 'let go please', but Mils face was all twisted and there was no way she was complying. She only loosened her grip and stopped when she spotted OH, flinging her arms round him and sobbing really loudly. I asked if the staff was OK - she assured me she was, and was lovely. But it was clear that Mil had had quite a go at her. Mil must have also grabbed at the poor womans neck, as her uniform around her throat area was covered in food that had clearly come from Mils hands (she had not long finished lunch).
OH and I got Mil to a chair, but she sobbed every step of the way, and was more agitated than I've seen her for a long time. It was just horrible. She was shaking, almost manic - yelling about how she couldn't tell us what was wrong because 'he' would 'smack' her, pretty incoherent, clenching her fists, loud harsh screams and then she started tearing at her own hair - and I mean tearing at it, it must have really hurt her. Just horrendous. We tried to talk calmly, we cuddled and hugged her (thankfully, whatever was going on in her poor head, we didn't feature as bad guys), but with little success. A new chap kept coming up and asking 'Are we in Wrexham? Is it Sunday?' and that was clearly annoying Mil, as was a lady in a nearby chair who was also calling out quite loudly - didn't take long for Mil to start screaming obscenities at the lady.
A member of staff came over and suggested that we try taking Mil to the sensory room - apparently they have been trying this as an alternative to her own room, when they can. Mil agreed and we made our way there - a large, quite, cool room, with fairy lights, a bubble tube, comfy seating, a lit up tree and classical music playing. At first, it didn't have much effect - Mil started screaming again, and shouting that she was going 'to 'kill him' (no idea who 'he' was), but that then changed to Mil ranting about some woman and how she was going to kill her. Gradually she calmed, staff brought drinks and biscuits which I think helped, but even though the loud crying and sobbing and the screaming stopped, the agitation was still there - Mil couldn't sit still, she kept clenching her fists, making shuddering groaning noises - the upset was just bubbling away under the surface. And she was doing a lot of talking, much like the rapid fire constant chatter we had seen before when she was agitated. Tales of how she had been given the lights in the room, had been working at a factory, tales of school, a firm declaration that she was '16 now', how she had been to the theatre in 'Lane end' . . . on and on, with just brief quiets spots as she ate biscuits or took a drink of her tea.
We stayed in the sensory room for nearly an hour with her, before the agitation started to be slowly building again she didn't blow, but you could see it was building. She wanted to 'get out of here', so we suggested she went and watched TV in her room - nope, she didn't want that, but she agreed to go back to the lounge. We got her settled in a chair there, and she slumped back, looking exhausted. Hoping she would doze for a while, we left and on the way out I had a word with one of the staff about the level of agitation. Its a daily occurance at the moment, apparently, and we have just been lucky that we haven't seen her that bad on our visits over the last 3 or 4 months. Staff have mentioned to me about how they have been consulting with Mil's GP about her agitation, but seeing her like that was a definite and unpleasant eye opener. Especially seeing the level of aggression she was giving the poor staff when we arrived.
On the way home, OH burst out with how he hoped the dementia would 'get a lot worse, quickly' if it meant that she wasn't so tormented. Just heartbreaking
Busy week ahead, I worked several hours yesterday so I can hopefully finish after my last project session before Chrstmas, next Friday afternoon. Big day tomorrow, part of a national project for the charity, where I'll be working with young people to pack care packs for the homeless, helping them host a coffee and mince pie afternoon for representatives from local homeless shelter and the day will also include a 2 hour craft workshop whenre they will decorate the care packs and labels. Another project this morning,one on Wednesday morning and the final session before Christmas on Friday morning. And - of course - admin
Batter get moving now and get ready - out of the house at 7.45 this morning!
Take care everyone x
Lovely pic 2jays - I have (I think) 3 robins who visit fairly regularly. One older bird who will come quite close and will also 'shout' if I don't fill up the table quickly enough, and two shyer ones, who hide in the wisteria, then dart onto the table to grab something then fly off - the only reason I know that there are two of 'em is because they seen to always be together - maybe sibling fledglings?
Spamar, mealworms are very popular here with a lot of the birds. I fill a plastic bowl (from an old picnic set) with a mixture of peanuts, seed, suet pellets and mealworms to put on the bird table, and the blackbirds, thrush, sparrows, and starlings definitely seem to pick them out first - in fact the starlings make one heck of a mess, flicking the other bits of food out of the way (and usually off the table) to get at them.
Haven't found the time to find a card yet, Amy - but the pound shop is a good idea
Had a very busy weekend, which included (at last) a visit to Mil yesterday - which was just horrible
OH and I arrived, and as we turned into the hall that leads to the lounge, we could hear someone yelling. It turned out to be Mil. She was just inside the lounge door, trying to get out, and gripping onto the arm of the staff who was trying to distract her, with Mil digging her nails into the poor womans arm as hard as she could. The staff was quietly telling Mil to 'let go please', but Mils face was all twisted and there was no way she was complying. She only loosened her grip and stopped when she spotted OH, flinging her arms round him and sobbing really loudly. I asked if the staff was OK - she assured me she was, and was lovely. But it was clear that Mil had had quite a go at her. Mil must have also grabbed at the poor womans neck, as her uniform around her throat area was covered in food that had clearly come from Mils hands (she had not long finished lunch). OH and I got Mil to a chair, but she sobbed every step of the way, and was more agitated than I've seen her for a long time. It was just horrible. She was shaking, almost manic - yelling about how she couldn't tell us what was wrong because 'he' would 'smack' her, pretty incoherent, clenching her fists, loud harsh screams and then she started tearing at her own hair - and I mean tearing at it, it must have really hurt her. Just horrendous. We tried to talk calmly, we cuddled and hugged her (thankfully, whatever was going on in her poor head, we didn't feature as bad guys), but with little success. A new chap kept coming up and asking 'Are we in Wrexham? Is it Sunday?' and that was clearly annoying Mil, as was a lady in a nearby chair who was also calling out quite loudly - didn't take long for Mil to start screaming obscenities at the lady.
A member of staff came over and suggested that we try taking Mil to the sensory room - apparently they have been trying this as an alternative to her own room, when they can. Mil agreed and we made our way there - a large, quite, cool room, with fairy lights, a bubble tube, comfy seating, a lit up tree and classical music playing. At first, it didn't have much effect - Mil started screaming again, and shouting that she was going 'to 'kill him' (no idea who 'he' was), but that then changed to Mil ranting about some woman and how she was going to kill her. Gradually she calmed, staff brought drinks and biscuits which I think helped, but even though the loud crying and sobbing and the screaming stopped, the agitation was still there - Mil couldn't sit still, she kept clenching her fists, making shuddering groaning noises - the upset was just bubbling away under the surface. And she was doing a lot of talking, much like the rapid fire constant chatter we had seen before when she was agitated. Tales of how she had been given the lights in the room, had been working at a factory, tales of school, a firm declaration that she was '16 now', how she had been to the theatre in 'Lane end' . . . on and on, with just brief quiets spots as she ate biscuits or took a drink of her tea.
We stayed in the sensory room for nearly an hour with her, before the agitation started to be slowly building again she didn't blow, but you could see it was building. She wanted to 'get out of here', so we suggested she went and watched TV in her room - nope, she didn't want that, but she agreed to go back to the lounge. We got her settled in a chair there, and she slumped back, looking exhausted. Hoping she would doze for a while, we left and on the way out I had a word with one of the staff about the level of agitation. Its a daily occurance at the moment, apparently, and we have just been lucky that we haven't seen her that bad on our visits over the last 3 or 4 months. Staff have mentioned to me about how they have been consulting with Mil's GP about her agitation, but seeing her like that was a definite and unpleasant eye opener. Especially seeing the level of aggression she was giving the poor staff when we arrived.
On the way home, OH burst out with how he hoped the dementia would 'get a lot worse, quickly' if it meant that she wasn't so tormented. Just heartbreaking
Busy week ahead, I worked several hours yesterday so I can hopefully finish after my last project session before Chrstmas, next Friday afternoon. Big day tomorrow, part of a national project for the charity, where I'll be working with young people to pack care packs for the homeless, helping them host a coffee and mince pie afternoon for representatives from local homeless shelter and the day will also include a 2 hour craft workshop whenre they will decorate the care packs and labels. Another project this morning,one on Wednesday morning and the final session before Christmas on Friday morning. And - of course - admin
Batter get moving now and get ready - out of the house at 7.45 this morning!
Take care everyone x
Oh, Ann, I am so sorry. And I am so sad for MIL and you and Mister Mac. It's just heartbreaking.
Oh Ann How awful for you to see your MIL in such a state. And how awful for her to feel such distress and agitation. I do hope someone is able to come up with something - anything - that lessens the distress and gives MIL some peace.
How awful for you to see your MIL in such a state. And how awful for her to feel such distress and agitation. I do hope someone is able to come up with something - anything - that lessens the distress and gives MIL some peace.
Morning all,
Thanks everyone x The upsetting thing is now knowing that that level of agitation is a very regular occurance. The sensory room did seem to help, but the issue there is that neither Mil nor anyone else can be left in there without supervision, so unless they have staff free to sit with her whilst she calms down, on a one to one basis, it can't be used as often as she needs it. Plus, there is always the liklihood that when Mil is in that state, even having just one person there gives enough attention to feed her anger and upset. I will be interested to see what is said in the CHC review - clearly her agitation and agression is getting worse, two staff have now said to me that there are daily situations where she needs one to one, for her own safety and the safety of those around her - so I just wonder if that will be reflected in the review.
We are currently trying to work out what on earth we are going to do Christmas day. OH and son are working, with OH driving to Preston after his shift to pick son up, and neither will be home till around 5.30 on Christmas day. Myself and dau's are planning to visit Mil in the morrning, but there is a just a little worry that she will be upset by OH not being with us, though of course that depends on whether or not she actually realises its Christmas day, and if she remembers/knows that usually OH would be there. The staff at the home have suggested that we visit when OH is able to come too - I think that may be possible if we go fairly early on Boxing day (OH is working a long afternoon/evening shift - so far!) - but it's dicey going before 11 as she is often still in bed. And it also feels wrong not seeing her on Christmas day - so not quite sure what to do!
Work is hectic this week - but really nice, too, I have to say. Spent all day yesterday with a new group doing a Christmas craft workshop, where they made gift tags for bags that they then filled with useful items for homeless people. We had two of the staff from one of the homeless shelters arrive after lunch, along with a representative from a FB homeless support group, and they had coffee and mince pies with us, and chatted to the youngsters about the issue of homelessness and about how much things like the care bags help. It was a lovely day - lots of Christmas music, lots (and lots) of glitter, lots of mince pies, lots of hard work and the young people were justfiably proud of themselves and happy they could help. Today, I have another art based workshop, tomorrow OH and I are going to pick up oldest and bring her home for Christmas, and Friday I have another Christmas craft workshop - then I am done until the New Year! IT - well, I will do what I can, but yet another issue with the new laptop has arisen and I've given up worrying about how far behind I am with everything!
Right - better go and get myself sorted for today. Much love to everyone, as always xxxx
Thanks everyone x The upsetting thing is now knowing that that level of agitation is a very regular occurance. The sensory room did seem to help, but the issue there is that neither Mil nor anyone else can be left in there without supervision, so unless they have staff free to sit with her whilst she calms down, on a one to one basis, it can't be used as often as she needs it. Plus, there is always the liklihood that when Mil is in that state, even having just one person there gives enough attention to feed her anger and upset. I will be interested to see what is said in the CHC review - clearly her agitation and agression is getting worse, two staff have now said to me that there are daily situations where she needs one to one, for her own safety and the safety of those around her - so I just wonder if that will be reflected in the review.
We are currently trying to work out what on earth we are going to do Christmas day. OH and son are working, with OH driving to Preston after his shift to pick son up, and neither will be home till around 5.30 on Christmas day. Myself and dau's are planning to visit Mil in the morrning, but there is a just a little worry that she will be upset by OH not being with us, though of course that depends on whether or not she actually realises its Christmas day, and if she remembers/knows that usually OH would be there. The staff at the home have suggested that we visit when OH is able to come too - I think that may be possible if we go fairly early on Boxing day (OH is working a long afternoon/evening shift - so far!) - but it's dicey going before 11 as she is often still in bed. And it also feels wrong not seeing her on Christmas day - so not quite sure what to do!
Work is hectic this week - but really nice, too, I have to say. Spent all day yesterday with a new group doing a Christmas craft workshop, where they made gift tags for bags that they then filled with useful items for homeless people. We had two of the staff from one of the homeless shelters arrive after lunch, along with a representative from a FB homeless support group, and they had coffee and mince pies with us, and chatted to the youngsters about the issue of homelessness and about how much things like the care bags help. It was a lovely day - lots of Christmas music, lots (and lots) of glitter, lots of mince pies, lots of hard work and the young people were justfiably proud of themselves and happy they could help. Today, I have another art based workshop, tomorrow OH and I are going to pick up oldest and bring her home for Christmas, and Friday I have another Christmas craft workshop - then I am done until the New Year! IT - well, I will do what I can, but yet another issue with the new laptop has arisen and I've given up worrying about how far behind I am with everything!
Right - better go and get myself sorted for today. Much love to everyone, as always xxxx
Ann - sorry not posted about your hard visit, and the conundrum for Christmas day.
My thoughts are MIL won't remember if you do go, so wait until you can all go together and knock that guilt monster on the head.
My thoughts are MIL won't remember if you do go, so wait until you can all go together and knock that guilt monster on the head.
I was in a rush this morning...but that was my thought....don’t go on Christmas Day...go all together when you can.
Ann, I understand you feeling you don't know what to do about visiting MIL for Christmas, and that it feels wrong not to see her on the day.
And I definitely appreciate the difficulty of not knowing if she will know you, or know it's Christmas, and how that makes managing your own feelings and expectations complicated.
As the staff have suggested you visit with OH, I might be inclined to do that.
Your project sounds lovely, especially at Christmas time!
And I definitely appreciate the difficulty of not knowing if she will know you, or know it's Christmas, and how that makes managing your own feelings and expectations complicated.
As the staff have suggested you visit with OH, I might be inclined to do that.
Your project sounds lovely, especially at Christmas time!
