Hello all,
JM - sounds like your daughters birthday celebrations were fun - I hope she had a lovely day on her actual birthday too. Glad that her back problems sound as though they will respond well to treatment too xxx
Slugsta, have a lovely time away and fingers crossed that your Mum doesn't manage to get into too much mischief whilst you are gone xxx
R-Anne - its so scary when you see what a mess that the so called 'system' is in. I spoke to one of the managers (think she was something to do with the CPN's) on Thursday, and she told me that the complaint I made might actually make life easier for the staff at the hospital, as I've made it clear that the issue were largely brought about by an ineffective service, rather than complaining about individuals. She said the whole mess desperately needs highlighting and that all the staff are so frustrated and fed up with the current situation. She also asked me could I tack on something about the parking issues, too!
I took all your advice about getting a taxi - not a lot of choice, as Thursday brought a 'sore joint' day for me, with hip and back painful from when I woke - I took painkillers, and tried a short walk to the local shop, to try and 'loosen up', but no joy - so I booked a taxi both ways.
The meeting - well, a few main points. Firstly, they haven't started taking meds away yet. Still trying to 'get a sense' of how she is and making sure that she is as 'well' as is possible so that they can make correct judgements, I guess. They are keeping an eye on her blood sugar which is '
low but just within normal limits' and though I was told that the first lot of tests they ran on blood and urine were 'fine', the second 'check' has revealed she has a UTI - which will obviously skew results, and she had been put on AB's for it.
They asked why Mil doesn't have a social worker? I explained that its because after any short period of not needing a SW's help, then clients are signed off the books and not allocated a new worker until there is a crisis - all the while thinking 'Surely you know this already?'! They said a new worker has been requested. Mil seems to have seen I think 4 different doctors/consultants since admission, and the one present at this meeting is one we have spoken to before. And on this occasion, as on the last, he wanted to know what we 'expected' in terms of outcome from this admission. So again I trotted out that we simply want the severe agitation brought under control if possible, ease the anger, ease the fear, lessen the intensity of dealing with the hightened emotions Mil has and lessen the potential for her falling and for her behaviour getting her chucked out of DC. I almost feel like I have to keep emphasising and almost justifying why we have pushed so hard for this admission, when I am dealing with this particular consultant.
He said that they were arranging a CAT scan - and asked me to confirm what I'd said about lorazepam actually making her worse, as they would have to find something to 'sedate' her for the procedure and Loraz would be the usual choice. I repeated what I'd said, adding that DC had reported the same effect when they had tried it. I also said that whilst it didn't make her any worse, the only effect diazapam has is to make her a bit unsteady on her feet - otherwise, its like giving her smarties. Several looks of disbelief thrown in my direction, so I guessed they would have to see for themselves
It was also suggested that we should perhaps take Mil out when we visit - just to a cafe or similar, for half an hour, that they think it might do her some 'good'. I'm happy to give that a go, but only if OH is there too - not pushing her wheelchair solo or dealing with the upset (if any) when we return her to the ward.
The nurse present fed back that Mil was 'managable' - but also indicated that Mil requires a lot of attention, because of the persistent fretting and asking for 'home', her 'husband', 'parents' and other non-attainable demands, particularly with wanting to leave the ward. That Mil was quite resistent to any reassurance or distraction. Mils been compliant with accepting help with washing and with taking medication. It was all very concise and detached. It didn't seem like Mil has really 'kicked off' there - well, not yet - but still, they are getting a taster of just how fretful and demanding she is. The 'kick-offs' will no doubt come in due course.
Mil herself - I arrive 30 minutes early so I could spend a little time with her (as I wanted to leave at 4.30, and wasn't sure how long the meeting would last). I found her hot and sweaty, hair plastered to her head, anxious and eager to lead me to a quiet seat where 'they' wouldn't hear her, so she could tell me that 'people' there had reported her to the police, saying that she had been 'naughty' and taken money that wasn't her's. She didn't seem to know that she was in hospital, instead several times insisting that she was in 'Mill end' (?) and that she had to get ready to leave for a Doctors appointment - and again, as she had done with OH, she named an old GP she used to have, who retired the best part of 20-something years ago as being the doctor she was sure she had to go and see. Trying to distract her, I got her to her room where I helped her have a strip wash to cool down and I washed her hair for her. In the bathroom, whilst I was laying out shampoo and so on, I turned round just in time to see her about to use the large bin in the bathroom as a loo! I managed to persuade her to use the correct 'receptical' but she was awfully worried she would be 'in trouble' as 'the people here' had told her she could only
'poo in this one Ann - I have to use the other one (pointing at the bin)
If I just want a wee' ! Her breath was somewhere between 'dragon' and 'skunk' so I also persuaded her to let me clean the remaining top denture - judging by the state of it, she isn't getting the help she needs there at all, so I think I'll make a point of checking them each time I go - I just think if she feels cooler, cleaner and fresher, it possibly helps her feel just slighter 'better' and maybe more in 'control'?
After the meeting, I had about another 20 minutes with her, which was filled with comments about 'going home now' every few seconds. She again was sure she was in this 'Mill End' place, pointing out the window at the clearly visible CAHM's building opposite and insisting she would
'prove it was Mill End, because look - there's the fire station'. She returned several times to the theme of having been shopping and bought this and that, and kept saying she couldn't wait to get home and cook her tea. She didn't want to be anywhere near the staff, who she called 'those people' - no way were they nurses, she kept insisting. I think its the lack of uniform, you know - as is the norm these days, they were dressed in what look like 'scrubs' and Mil just doesn't equate that with what a nurse should (in her head) look like. The mentions of home and the agitation were growing, so I was glad to make my escape.
On the way out, I spoke to the Nurse, A****, who seems to be Mils main 'nurse' (not sure why she wasn't in the meeting) who mentioned that Mil has quite a sharp, 'cutting' sense of humour - apparently Mil has been making derogatory comments about how old this nurse is. A**** was taking it as a joke - but I was thinking 'Oh-Oooo'!
Got another phone call, about another scheduled meeting, yesterday - this one for next week. The nurse who rang said that after I had left the day before, Mil had again fixated on wanting her husband, and this nurse commented again about how persistent and demanding Mil is. She also said that if just one or two of them had to deal they would never cope - that its easier for them with several staff to share her care, so that the demands were 'spread out' . She also said (in a tone of great surprise) that they had tried diazapam to calm her - and that I was right. It didn't have any effect at all
So, there we are. Both OH and I will visit today (OH went solo yesterday) and I'll pop in (if I can find parking) tomorrow, when OH is in work. Monday, he is in work again, so I may give it a miss then. We'll see. I am finding that I'm awfully 'lethargic' at the moment - not feeling like doing anything much, to be honest and struggling to motivate myself to do even the basics around the house. Just hoping that I'm not 'starting' with any sort of lurgy - can do without that!
Hope you all have a good day xxxx
