A life in the day of.........................

[nellbelles]

Sylvia
If you took Dhiren tomorrow would you have someone to go with you?

That is if you can bear to do it, when Tom is lost and frightened I am at loss as to what I would do.

Sorry that wasn't very helpful, was it.

 

[janlyn]

hi sylvia sorry to hear you are having such a hard time i also think of you every day i hope you and dhiran will be ok and that you get some well deserved rest x

 

[Skye]

Oh Sylvia, I know how you feel. You'd never settle if you just dumped Dhiren today, even if you could.

Will Paul be flying straight back after his meeting? Perhaps he would take Dhiren for you -- or would that make you feel worse?

I reall think you should get him in as soon as possible. Now he knows he's going, it's not going to get any easier.

Love,

 

[larivy]

hi Sylvia sorry you are having such a hard time hope Dhiren improves thinking of you love larivy

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Helen.

I would ask Terry, my Care Manager or the Admiral Nurse to come with me tomorrow.
The problem is, he could be fine for a while after this episode. It often happens that after a bad do, he has a calm spell.
I know I`m pussyfooting around but it`s the most difficult decision to have to make. I`m ready for 25th but don`t think I`m ready for tomorrow.

 

[Skye]

One day at a time, then!

At least you know the home will take him, and you'll have help, so you can wait and see.

Love,

PS I'm Hazel!!!!

 

[Winnie Kjaer]

How we all feel with you and your despair. If friendship and support could lift your worries you would be free of them forever.As already said "one day at the time" will have to do for now. Just knowing there is a place if you need it, may just give you the strength to hold on. I hope so Sylvia if that is what you would prefer.

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you and praying for strength. Izzy x

 

[Grannie G]

PS I'm Hazel!!!!

Sorry Hazel. My mistake. I didn`t make myself clear enough I was replying to Helen/Nellbelles Post 9724

If you took Dhiren tomorrow would you have someone to go with you?

But the same applies to your;

Will Paul be flying straight back after his meeting? Perhaps he would take Dhiren for you -- or would that make you feel worse?

Paul won`t be back till late Tuesday. Even so I do feel I have to take him as long as I have someone with me, preferably not Paul. We will both be as bad as each other.

But I think you`ll excuse me as sundowning is upon me again.
He is looking for the stairs.
He wants to know when we will be going home.
He is opening the front door again.
etc. etc. etc.

But at least he has had an omelette and half a slice of bread.


Thank you Winnie. This is where TP is a godsend. Who would I be offloading to now if there ws no TP?

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Sylvia,

Respite straight away or on the 25th? Only you know whether you can hang on until next week, but you might find that just knowing it's right there, within grabbing distance, so to speak, is enough to help you through the next few days.

If you were to go for it straight away, you might not be entirely ready for it yourself, much as you want the break. You might feel that you rushed at it too headlong. It is, after all, a period of adjustment as well as "R and R".

Thinking of both you and Dhiren, and hoping that the sundowning is not too distressing for either one of you,
Love, Nan XXX

 

[Grannie G]

I`m hanging on Nan by the skin of my teeth.

 

[Bookworm]

Tired and coping without Paul - you are amazing and cooking omelette - I'm just so pleased you found something he could enjoy. I hope you got some food too, thoughts are as always with you today & for this evening & tonight. Sorry for pm-ing earlier without checking out your day.xx

 

[Grannie G]

We now have samosas in the oven. Shop bought but who cares? Perhaps he is reverting to cultural tastes.

 

[larivy]

hope Dhiren is settling down if he eats them who cares love larivy

 

[Skye]

We now have samosas in the oven. Shop bought but who cares?

Now you're getting down to my level! I'm glad Dhiren's eating at least.

Sorry, the earlier misunderstanding was as much my fault.

I hope the sundowning isn't too bad tonight.

Love,

 

[connie]

Been at the care home all day so just caught up with your thread Sylvia.

What a turmoil to find yourself in. I hope Dhiren settles enough for you to stick with your original plan. Hard enough to make decisions under any circumstances, and you were just begining to adjust in your mind too.

When I took Lionel the final time into the home I used a 'wheelchair' taxi. It was the only way he could be transported, as he could never have got into a car. Maybe something to keep in mind - even for outings whith Dhiren later in the year, when you may be able to travel a little further afield than just pushing.

 

[donkey]

sending you a big hug sylvia and you will soon get your respite, at least now you dont have to wait till the 25th if you dont want too. i can imagine how hard it will be for you to let go but let dhiran be looked after by someone else so you can regain your strengh and look after you for a change. much as dave dosnt warrent any respite at the present time i would love for him to go away for a few days to give me back a sense of normality at home, and yes i would miss him and worry about him all the time but there comes a time when you just need to let go for a while im sure it would help everyone to have a few days off from caring so we can recharge our batteries. i hope dhiran isnt still sundowning and hope you have a peacfull night xxxx

 

[ROSEANN]

Hi Sylvia
I am sorry you are having such a bad time.
Once again we are on the same path.
I have respite at the end of the month and to be honest I cannot wait, it breaks my heart to take John but I must have the break or go under.
His constant questions are no better and now most of the time he dos not know me thinks I am his sister or mum.

I have just had a battle with the home to take him as they were saying they could not handle his needs (this is a so called center of excellance for dementia).
I told the SW that if I was expected to care for him 24/7 on my own surely they could manage a week, it seems they like to have the quiet ones.

Try to hold on I am thinking of you.
Love Roseann xx

 

[Grannie G]

I have just had a battle with the home to take him as they were saying they could not handle his needs (this is a so called center of excellance for dementia).
I told the SW that if I was expected to care for him 24/7 on my own surely they could manage a week, it seems they like to have the quiet ones.

What a cop out Roseann. Well said.

 

[TinaT]

We are never really ready for the big changes in our lives are we? I doubt you will feel any better leaving him in respite whatever the date he goes there. It will still be the same gut wrenching pull on your emotions. Whatever the date,whether today, next week or next year - he will still be confused, frightened and look so lost and alone when you leave him. You will feel the pain whenever it happens and no matter how often it happens when you have to leave him there. And that applies whether he is in for respite or permanently resident!

After 2 and a half years of Ken being in a care home, I'm still on the sea saw where I think I can manage and have him home, and then after coping with Ken on my own, I don't think I can manage. His behaviour is too much for one person to cope with alone and I have to accept this. The pain never goes away either for Ken or for myself. It's a viscious circle which we can never get out of until there is a cure for this terrible illness.

These things are forced on us by the illness Sylvia. They are not of our making and we cannot control the situation no matter how much we try.

xxTinaT