You may well have to wait until after your mum has recovered from covid so that SS can see what her care needs will be afterwards.
It will be the hospital SWs who will arrange that
Coming to the end
- Thread starter Missodell18
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- alzheimer's disease
It will be the hospital SWs who will arrange that
Yes that probably will be the case. A hospital social worker did ring once then when I called back they denied all knowledge of it! That was before the Covid though.
I’m also chasing SS for other matters. The care home which mum left in November keep sending bills even though they said they couldn’t take Mum back and we collected her things weeks ago. They’ve also “lost” her wheelchair. I’ve seen them using it before, it had a label with her name on it but when we came to collect it, it suddenly couldn’t be found. It’s not like we need it but I don’t want SS (or whoever, the occupational therapist gave it to us) asking for it back and we haven’t got it because the care home has kept it.
Thank you, yes it does help a lot to write it all
Down. I’ve read before that retelling what’s happened helps you to get over the trauma of it all, to make it a memory
A little update here. Currently at York Hospital still but awaiting on discharge now - after a very long month here. My mum is Covid negative at last. One of the nursing homes I contacted before Christmas has been very helpful and has a room for my mum. It’s also practically next door to my daughter’s school so such a weight off not having to travel 45 minutes to the other nursing home (or over an hour to hospital). Fingers crossed. We have a social worker again! She also seems much more helpful than the last one we had. She contacted the nursing homes and the one I’d contacted replied right away, the quickest response she’d ever had said the SW, so it does pay to enquire yourself! The home already knew about my mum’s health situation so I think this helped.
Finally a tiny bit of good news. Hoping my mum can stay settled at the nursing home for a while now and no new infections or anything occur like last time.
Finally a tiny bit of good news. Hoping my mum can stay settled at the nursing home for a while now and no new infections or anything occur like last time.
Indeed this is encouraging news @Missodell18 . I sincerely hope that the transfer to the home is soon.
Thank you everyone. It’s such a relief actually.
Yesterday mum was discharged from hospital to a nursing home much closer to home. It’s a 5-10 minute drive from my dads which is significantly better than the 45 minutes to the previous nursing home. This home seems nice. It feels homely and cosy and has nice gardens and surroundings. Even the bed, although it has sides and moves like a hospital bed, it looks like a “real” bed, if you know what I mean, so more comfy in a way than a hospital bed which can look very clinical.
However my mum seems a bit worse in herself today when we’ve just visited. Hopefully it’s perhaps that she’s just tired after the transfer to the home and she’ll perhaps pick up a bit. I spoke to the nurse though and it’s definitely palliative care here I think. She was speaking about the medication they can give to alleviate various symptoms “when the time comes”. I know it can’t be said when that will be, but I’m hoping for a more settled period with a little luck. I really don’t want any more emergency dashes to hospital A&E again so I hope the home can manage whatever is ahead with as little drama as possible.
Yesterday mum was discharged from hospital to a nursing home much closer to home. It’s a 5-10 minute drive from my dads which is significantly better than the 45 minutes to the previous nursing home. This home seems nice. It feels homely and cosy and has nice gardens and surroundings. Even the bed, although it has sides and moves like a hospital bed, it looks like a “real” bed, if you know what I mean, so more comfy in a way than a hospital bed which can look very clinical.
However my mum seems a bit worse in herself today when we’ve just visited. Hopefully it’s perhaps that she’s just tired after the transfer to the home and she’ll perhaps pick up a bit. I spoke to the nurse though and it’s definitely palliative care here I think. She was speaking about the medication they can give to alleviate various symptoms “when the time comes”. I know it can’t be said when that will be, but I’m hoping for a more settled period with a little luck. I really don’t want any more emergency dashes to hospital A&E again so I hope the home can manage whatever is ahead with as little drama as possible.
Hello @Missodell18
Im glad your mum has moved OK. Everything is going to be confusing for your mum for a while until she adjusts and settles.
Yes, it does indeed sound like she is on palliative care now, which probably means that she will not go back to hospital again and the home can care for her during her last days/weeks. Id ask to speak to the homes GP and clarify this to put your mind at rest. If it isnt in her care plan not to go back to hospital ask the doctor to put it in there.
xxx
Im glad your mum has moved OK. Everything is going to be confusing for your mum for a while until she adjusts and settles.
Yes, it does indeed sound like she is on palliative care now, which probably means that she will not go back to hospital again and the home can care for her during her last days/weeks. Id ask to speak to the homes GP and clarify this to put your mind at rest. If it isnt in her care plan not to go back to hospital ask the doctor to put it in there.
xxx
Yes, @Missodell18 , You have sound advice from @canary , to clarify with the homes GP that your Mum is on palliative care now, and that her care plan is clear that there is not to be a return to hospital. I had to ensure the same for my dear Mum, as it was clear there would be no benefit to doing so.
Thank you both. I am going to visit at lunchtime and the doctor is seeing my mum this morning so I will try and ask about this.
However, there have been further complication. My mum is passing blood in her urine again suddenly and hasn't eaten very much. My mum drinks a LOT even when things are 'normal' and the last hospital emergency was largely down to dehydration so I wonder if this is the problem again. I feel like every time I turn away to start doing something else - like going to work! - something else goes wrong.
I would prefer mum to stay out of hospital now. I don't think it's helpful any more. However, managing my dad through all this too is very stressful. I think he would say send her to hospital, etc etc. I know he doesn't want to face the prospect of mum dying, I don't either, but....
Problem with my dad is he's an avid tabloid reader. Yesterday my mum had a bit of a swollen eye and a bruise on her hand. He asked the nurse and she said she thought it was because she was lying on her side. She's had a swollen/puffy eye before and she bruises easily. However my dad decides this is because someones hit her. He's accused every home/carer we've encountered of doing things like this (not to their faces!) I just have to grit my teeth and say I don't think that's the case. It drives me mad. He's also nagging me to call the social worker every day about the funding, despite me explaining mum will be assessed within 28 days for CHC (don't think I mentioned but in all this someone along the line agreed to this and she passed the 'checklist' stage) and if she doesn't qualify then she'll have a financial assessment like when she went into the first care home. But my dad thinks they're going to take 'half the house' to pay for the nursing home.
However, there have been further complication. My mum is passing blood in her urine again suddenly and hasn't eaten very much. My mum drinks a LOT even when things are 'normal' and the last hospital emergency was largely down to dehydration so I wonder if this is the problem again. I feel like every time I turn away to start doing something else - like going to work! - something else goes wrong.
I would prefer mum to stay out of hospital now. I don't think it's helpful any more. However, managing my dad through all this too is very stressful. I think he would say send her to hospital, etc etc. I know he doesn't want to face the prospect of mum dying, I don't either, but....
Problem with my dad is he's an avid tabloid reader. Yesterday my mum had a bit of a swollen eye and a bruise on her hand. He asked the nurse and she said she thought it was because she was lying on her side. She's had a swollen/puffy eye before and she bruises easily. However my dad decides this is because someones hit her. He's accused every home/carer we've encountered of doing things like this (not to their faces!) I just have to grit my teeth and say I don't think that's the case. It drives me mad. He's also nagging me to call the social worker every day about the funding, despite me explaining mum will be assessed within 28 days for CHC (don't think I mentioned but in all this someone along the line agreed to this and she passed the 'checklist' stage) and if she doesn't qualify then she'll have a financial assessment like when she went into the first care home. But my dad thinks they're going to take 'half the house' to pay for the nursing home.
Still very up and down here. Mums not very well. Some days she eats, some days she eats very little. She sounds like she’s continually needing to cough to clear her throat but can’t do it. They give injections for it but they don’t seem to have much of an affect. One nurse I spoke to said she thought mum was improving a little but another one today said it would be a good idea to tell anyone who wants to visit now is the time, so that’s not very hopeful at all. She looked at mums fingers and toes before she said that - can you tell something that way?
My dad surprised me by telling the doctor that he didn’t want mum to go to hospital for anything again, so looks like this will be the end of the road. It’s a nice place, the care home is a very old building with stained glass windows and lovely architecture. My mum would really like it if she was in a position to appreciate things like that still.
We have a hearing/meeting for CHC in just over a weeks time. I’m wondering if mum will make it currently.
My dad surprised me by telling the doctor that he didn’t want mum to go to hospital for anything again, so looks like this will be the end of the road. It’s a nice place, the care home is a very old building with stained glass windows and lovely architecture. My mum would really like it if she was in a position to appreciate things like that still.
We have a hearing/meeting for CHC in just over a weeks time. I’m wondering if mum will make it currently.
Sorry to hear this @Missodell18 . 'Not knowing' is an awful place to be in - my thoughts are with you and your family.
S x
S x
This is an awful place for you to be @Missodell18 . The roller coaster ride of thinking this might be the end, but might not yet quite be, is emotionally and physically draining. Thinking of you still. 🤗
@Missodell18, I'm glad you've got your mum into a home near the family. As @Gosling says this is a real roller coaster. I think getting people to visit who want to visit now is a good idea. My mum died quite suddenly last October, and I think my brother thought he had time to see her one last time, which it turned it he hadn't.
Just wanted to send you tons of hugs. My mum was admitted to a Nursing Home on Friday. On the day of the assessment she perked up no end and before the transport came to take her to the home she was smiley and chatty and eating. The guilt was real when she asked out of the blue “ where am I going?’ Today is her 79th birthday and we have all visited and she was very awake and tried to communicate. My dad was there for 4 hours. When he tried to leave she kept saying no and looking like she would cry. It was heartbreaking for everyone.
The GP was doing the rounds but we haven’t spoken to him yet. I know she had a huge sore on her foot prior to going there that we were told was a sign of EOL as the skin is breaking down?
Hi @Christmasqueen
Glad to hear your mum has been admitted to the nursing home - hope she's still doing alright, or stable at least. Yes I think that is a sign of EOL. My mum had a pressure sore on her heel for ages though, which you wouldn't think really possible as she doesn't walk and hasn't worn any type of shoes or slippers for months. When my mum was last in hospital she had blotchy skin that looked very pale and 'thin' and they told us this was a sign EOL was very near (which is it). However, she rallied and didn't die then - that's when they thought the end would be in hours, or a couple of days at best.
We're still here, but things still very up and down.
The CHC funding assessment was supposed to be today, however the nurse at the home requested fast track as she believes my mum is now deteriorating quickly. This was done BUT on the wrong form! (You couldn't make it up, could you?!) so we were sat on the meeting (online) waiting to find out if Fast track would be granted or if we'd have to do the assessment. They decided after a while they would cancel the assessment and it's assumed Fast Track will be granted now, until the end of March (at which point we may have to do the assessment if Mum is stable-ish). Doesn't everything to do with this stuff seem so needlessly complicated?
My mum is eating/drinking very little now. My dad has some success, the nursing home staff say she's not swallowing, just holding food in her mouth. Same with medication, although again my dad can get her to take pills okay.
Tomorrow my dad will be going to hospital for a lung operation on Friday. He'll have to be in hospital at least 3 days but could be up to 7 or maybe longer depending on how he recovers. I'm dreading something happening to mum while he's in hospital.
The CHC funding assessment was supposed to be today, however the nurse at the home requested fast track as she believes my mum is now deteriorating quickly. This was done BUT on the wrong form! (You couldn't make it up, could you?!) so we were sat on the meeting (online) waiting to find out if Fast track would be granted or if we'd have to do the assessment. They decided after a while they would cancel the assessment and it's assumed Fast Track will be granted now, until the end of March (at which point we may have to do the assessment if Mum is stable-ish). Doesn't everything to do with this stuff seem so needlessly complicated?
My mum is eating/drinking very little now. My dad has some success, the nursing home staff say she's not swallowing, just holding food in her mouth. Same with medication, although again my dad can get her to take pills okay.
Tomorrow my dad will be going to hospital for a lung operation on Friday. He'll have to be in hospital at least 3 days but could be up to 7 or maybe longer depending on how he recovers. I'm dreading something happening to mum while he's in hospital.
