It's the night before I take mum into her dementia care home and I am overwhelmed with anxiety and anticipation. I have her bag packed - I've had to buy everything new as her clothes are way too big now and literally hanging off her. I will take some older familiar things in when I can get into the house to collect and wash them ( impossible when she is there!). I have enough meds for a month and her favourite photos and ornaments etc. I know in my heart that it is the right decision and that she will be well cared for. They have already put her on the list for the hairdresser next week which she will love! We have worked out the 'love lie' we will use to encourage her out of the house and into the car. Still guilt is already raking me with her nails! I have no doubt that in a while, she will be happier than she has been in a long time - she is quite chatty and sociable. I feel guilt because I know the relief I will feel, when she is finally safe and sound and I can relax and have some real me-time mentally, emotionally and physically without the worry about that 'text or phone call'. I feel guilt because the day after, I have to go and pick up the cat who has been her trusted friend. I cannot have him as I have a dog that is not good with cats. I know it will be ok, I work for a vet who will health check and vaccinate him and I will find temporary boarding while I find a forever home for him.
I hate this thing called guilt - it's a monster, a negative voice that whispers in your ear. I am doing the best I can in the only way I can and that it is enough for now. Surely nurturing also means accepting that you cannot give your loved one the care that they need and finding people that can and will meet their needs moving on? Not really looking for an answer here, just off loading some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful for this forum - you are such a comforting presence! Wish me me luck for tomorrow - fingers crossed!
I hate this thing called guilt - it's a monster, a negative voice that whispers in your ear. I am doing the best I can in the only way I can and that it is enough for now. Surely nurturing also means accepting that you cannot give your loved one the care that they need and finding people that can and will meet their needs moving on? Not really looking for an answer here, just off loading some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I am so grateful for this forum - you are such a comforting presence! Wish me me luck for tomorrow - fingers crossed!