That is awful,it must have been such a shock to see the latest photos of your mum and how much she has changed.
I was lucky to have three garden visits to Mum so had seen the changes after ten weeks in hospital and a care home. To be faith though, the care home had picked up that mum had lost weight and were weighing her each week, giving her a high colorise meals and extra snacks and had involved her new GP. I think this concern is because she also has breast cancer although it is not invasive.
They had sent some photos and would facilitate FaceTime calls except that mum refuses to take part. When we commented that we had no idea what her room looked like, the manager sent us a video walk through. I admit that most of our contact with the staff is initiated by us rather than them phoning us but I guess they cannot do that for every resident.
Unfortunately the home is now back in total lockdown after an outbreak of Covid 19 ( my mum had a positive test but has been fine) so no more visits for now. But you have reminded me to phone them to ask for some new photos to be sent.
This bloody virus really has caused a lot of problems and the lack of visits cannot be allowed to continue for ever. I've contacted my MP, my mums MP where she used to live and the MP for the care home but had no reply other than a automatic acknowledgement from two of them. I wonder if care hones will ever have open doors again, will our loved ones just be locked away if they cannot live at home? It's going back to Victorian Workhouses!
Sorry for ranting but I feel so upset for you Palerider and everyone else who has family with dementia in care homes, I cannot see an end in sight though which is tragic.