A lifelong friend and me

[Bikerbeth]

Absolutely. There is always a risk in these scenarios that human rights are eroded. Its a difficult balance on the one hand keeping people safe, but not using that as a means to prevent basic human freedoms. Doing nothing is not a remedy. I do feel that there has been too much weight given to absolutes which are never achievable after the intial back lash on the neglect of care homes. We are now at the opposite end of the spectrum with risk averseness dictating the rights of residents in care homes. Managers and leaders have forgotten that there is and always will be an element of risk -a remedy is how those risks are managed rather than blanket banning of visiting. It is laudable when the CH has several different agency staff rotating through every week, but family who are more likely to be cautious can't visit!

I totally agree with what you said even though I am able to have a weekly window visit with Mum. CH finally brought in chiropodist after 6 months but no updates on dentist, optician etc. I wonder how long it will be before a hairdresser is allowed in (Mum hates her hair long) or allowed out for a walk (which I was doing 2 or 3 times a week with her) sorry I know I have gone off the topic of visiting or not being allowed to visit which is heart breaking for you. I guess what I am trying to say is give the Care Home residents some quality too by managing the risks as you say

 

[Palerider]

Well finally today I have had some photos of mum having not seen her for months. I was shocked and heartbroken.

 

[Pete1]

Hi @Palerider, so sorry to hear that, it must have be awful for you - compounding the sadness at not being able to see your dear Mum.

 

[Helly68]

So sorry to hear that you were shocked @Palerider . It is hard when you don't see someone regularly, however much you prepare yourself. I can't believe some of the stuff you have had by way of response from the CH. I know that we were told about Facetime, when everyone at the Unit knows that the internet signal is so bad in the part of the building that you would never be able to have a call! What an awful time. I really feel for you and hope the home get their finger out on the communication side and the Government and those with clout realise how badly vulnerable people are being let down.

 

[Lynmax]

That is awful,it must have been such a shock to see the latest photos of your mum and how much she has changed.

I was lucky to have three garden visits to Mum so had seen the changes after ten weeks in hospital and a care home. To be faith though, the care home had picked up that mum had lost weight and were weighing her each week, giving her a high colorise meals and extra snacks and had involved her new GP. I think this concern is because she also has breast cancer although it is not invasive.

They had sent some photos and would facilitate FaceTime calls except that mum refuses to take part. When we commented that we had no idea what her room looked like, the manager sent us a video walk through. I admit that most of our contact with the staff is initiated by us rather than them phoning us but I guess they cannot do that for every resident.

Unfortunately the home is now back in total lockdown after an outbreak of Covid 19 ( my mum had a positive test but has been fine) so no more visits for now. But you have reminded me to phone them to ask for some new photos to be sent.

This bloody virus really has caused a lot of problems and the lack of visits cannot be allowed to continue for ever. I've contacted my MP, my mums MP where she used to live and the MP for the care home but had no reply other than a automatic acknowledgement from two of them. I wonder if care hones will ever have open doors again, will our loved ones just be locked away if they cannot live at home? It's going back to Victorian Workhouses!

Sorry for ranting but I feel so upset for you Palerider and everyone else who has family with dementia in care homes, I cannot see an end in sight though which is tragic.

 

[MartinWL]

Absolutely. There is always a risk in these scenarios that human rights are eroded. Its a difficult balance on the one hand keeping people safe, but not using that as a means to prevent basic human freedoms. Doing nothing is not a remedy. I do feel that there has been too much weight given to absolutes which are never achievable after the intial back lash on the neglect of care homes. We are now at the opposite end of the spectrum with risk averseness dictating the rights of residents in care homes. Managers and leaders have forgotten that there is and always will be an element of risk -a remedy is how those risks are managed rather than blanket banning of visiting. It is laudable when the CH has several different agency staff rotating through every week, but family who are more likely to be cautious can't visit!

I quite agree but they are under pressure to follow government guidance which dictates very strict covid prevention measures at the expense of common humanity. Many care homes are now trying to come up with ways of facilitating visits within the guidance although these are all very restrictive.

 

[Palerider]

Hi @Palerider, so sorry to hear that, it must have be awful for you - compounding the sadness at not being able to see your dear Mum.

Yes it certainly has compounded everything. Emotional pain I think is far worse than physical pain -sometimes. I don't see how this can continue and end well for anyone.

 

[Palerider]

I quite agree but they are under pressure to follow government guidance which dictates very strict covid prevention measures at the expense of common humanity. Many care homes are now trying to come up with ways of facilitating visits within the guidance although these are all very restrictive.

Thats the point though isn't it? The problem I am experiencing is that the CH can't seem to come up with solutions, or should I say wasn't coming up with any. Its fine to have guidance, but someone has to interpret that guidance and implement it, otherwise we would be stuck in a perptual circle (well we have been). I wonder what will happen when seasonal flu gets added into the mix?

 

[Palerider]

So sorry to hear that you were shocked @Palerider . It is hard when you don't see someone regularly, however much you prepare yourself. I can't believe some of the stuff you have had by way of response from the CH. I know that we were told about Facetime, when everyone at the Unit knows that the internet signal is so bad in the part of the building that you would never be able to have a call! What an awful time. I really feel for you and hope the home get their finger out on the communication side and the Government and those with clout realise how badly vulnerable people are being let down.

I think mums CH are great at giving direct care and I can't criticise that at all -they have been fab with mum and she fitted right in on the first day. But the management is lacking or should I say leadership, hence the previous manager was sacked. The new manager to be fair is tasked with a huge job of catching up, but giving verbal cues as she did won't bode well. I don't think any of this would have moved forward without families putting pressure on the CH to do something and come up with a solution to visiting as per recent guidance. Facetime is useful but its not the same as visiting -to physiacally see that all is ok and besides like many pwd mum is likely not to engage with it. Difficult seeing someone after not seeing them with a debilitating disease -truly a shock and also a harsh reality check.

 

[Palerider]

That is awful,it must have been such a shock to see the latest photos of your mum and how much she has changed.

I was lucky to have three garden visits to Mum so had seen the changes after ten weeks in hospital and a care home. To be faith though, the care home had picked up that mum had lost weight and were weighing her each week, giving her a high colorise meals and extra snacks and had involved her new GP. I think this concern is because she also has breast cancer although it is not invasive.

They had sent some photos and would facilitate FaceTime calls except that mum refuses to take part. When we commented that we had no idea what her room looked like, the manager sent us a video walk through. I admit that most of our contact with the staff is initiated by us rather than them phoning us but I guess they cannot do that for every resident.

Unfortunately the home is now back in total lockdown after an outbreak of Covid 19 ( my mum had a positive test but has been fine) so no more visits for now. But you have reminded me to phone them to ask for some new photos to be sent.

This bloody virus really has caused a lot of problems and the lack of visits cannot be allowed to continue for ever. I've contacted my MP, my mums MP where she used to live and the MP for the care home but had no reply other than a automatic acknowledgement from two of them. I wonder if care hones will ever have open doors again, will our loved ones just be locked away if they cannot live at home? It's going back to Victorian Workhouses!

Sorry for ranting but I feel so upset for you Palerider and everyone else who has family with dementia in care homes, I cannot see an end in sight though which is tragic.

Trying times Lynmax, indeed.

MP's answer their emails in order of receipt and it may take a few days to get a response if not longer, so hang in there. The important thing is to make your views known.

Hoping your mums CH isn't in lockdown too long

 

[Palerider]

I got a surprise call from the CH activities team and visiting will start next week -hurrah hurrah. I have to call back on Monday to arrnage an appointment and be udated on the arrangements PPE etc

 

[annielou]

Thats great news x

 

[Woo2]

Ah that’s fab news , so pleased for you @Palerider .

 

[anxious annie]

Brilliant news @Palerider , let's hope all care homes follow suit and get indoor visits established asap.

 

[Lynmax]

Great news for you Palerider. Unfortunately, not good news for us! We have had a letter saying that the care company have weighed up all the guidance and done risk assessments and have decided that they will not allow any visits, even garden ones. Mums care home is in Stockport which has just come out of the Greater Manchester lockdown but it did have an outbreak of Covid 19 ( ten residents all tested positive) so they are being cautious in all their 11 care homes.

I am really upset, although I want mum protected as she was one of those who tested positive but I thought that visits would begin again with extra care being taken. My understanding is that the virus was brought in by a resident transferring from a different care home - I have a friend who is involved in the Covid procedures for the LA and she keeps me informed! Also this is going against the Gvt I think?

But we aren't planning to challenge them at the moment as its too soon after the recent local lockdown and mum is very well looked after and the staff all really seem to care about her and are very good at communicating with us. I think though that we will want to talk about this situation within a few weeks.

 

[Pete1]

Great news @Palerider, hopefully you will get an early appointment to see your Mum. There has been a fair amount of media coverage in this last week of the effect on residents and of course their family. Hopefully that will kick-start lifting of restrictions.

Sorry to hear about your situation @Lynmax, as you allude hopefully the position will change when the local infection rate reduces.

 

[Baker17]

I got a surprise call from the CH activities team and visiting will start next week -hurrah hurrah. I have to call back on Monday to arrnage an appointment and be udated on the arrangements PPE etc

@Palerider I am so happy for you I can’t wait for the day when I get that news x

 

[Palerider]

Great news for you Palerider. Unfortunately, not good news for us! We have had a letter saying that the care company have weighed up all the guidance and done risk assessments and have decided that they will not allow any visits, even garden ones. Mums care home is in Stockport which has just come out of the Greater Manchester lockdown but it did have an outbreak of Covid 19 ( ten residents all tested positive) so they are being cautious in all their 11 care homes.

I am really upset, although I want mum protected as she was one of those who tested positive but I thought that visits would begin again with extra care being taken. My understanding is that the virus was brought in by a resident transferring from a different care home - I have a friend who is involved in the Covid procedures for the LA and she keeps me informed! Also this is going against the Gvt I think?

But we aren't planning to challenge them at the moment as its too soon after the recent local lockdown and mum is very well looked after and the staff all really seem to care about her and are very good at communicating with us. I think though that we will want to talk about this situation within a few weeks.

Trying times for anyone involved in care as 'the guidance' isn't really directive and places the onus on CH's who are not well versed in dealing with these kinds of risks, so they make blanket decisions. The reality is that its is now a part of our lives and we have to find ways of managing it so that life goes on as best as possible, which clearly isn't happening in many care homes, my mums CH included. The time will come when Covid-19 becomes accepted as a part of our lives (just as flu is) and we will have moved on to other problems. I seriously think that the way CH's are designed and built is going to have to change if these kinds of pandemics are inevitable, because as many of them are, they are not fit for purpose.

 

[Palerider]

@Palerider I am so happy for you I can’t wait for the day when I get that news x

Its taken a lot of pressure to get the CH moving and sort itself out

 

[Palerider]

Great news @Palerider, hopefully you will get an early appointment to see your Mum. There has been a fair amount of media coverage in this last week of the effect on residents and of course their family. Hopefully that will kick-start lifting of restrictions.

Sorry to hear about your situation @Lynmax, as you allude hopefully the position will change when the local infection rate reduces.

I hope blanket banning of visiting falls by the way as it's just not appropriate. Yes its complex because there are different residents with different needs in CH's, but making blanket decisions is not workable unless they can be absolutely justified -and I haven't seen any evidence of that so far. But there is much yet to be debated and agreed on around this problem. I am hoping the forthcoming judicial review manages to reach a decision on what should be done for those in care, because currently most of the restrictions have not been person centred but focussed on fragmented guidance from many organisations and based on infection control measures only. In an ideal world its fine to say no visiting/ lockdown -but we don't live in an ideal world. There are lots of questions to be asked and answered on this so that those in care and their families can get on with ther lives as best they can.