• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

A lifelong friend and me

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
512
An excellent response @Palerider , to a standard reply quoting government guidelines, pretty much as expected.
My mum is mobile so I have been able to see her in the garden, the first time keeping a distance, but no masks.
When the guidelines came out it made it worse in fact as masks now required.
At least I can see her, others with pwd not so lucky. I have a friend with a mum in a care home and she hasn't seen her since March. In fact the residents have been confined to their rooms
since March despite there being no cases of covid in the home since the end of April!! It's worse than being in prison, I don't know how they get away with it.
As you say for everyone else lockdown is easing, including for those who were shielding.
The government obviously don't want a repeat of the previous fiasco in care homes, but surely this is where testing should be at the heart of care home visits. Visitors need to be tested ( great if this could be the new 90 minute turn around).
What I can't understand is how it's ok for staff to take full advantage of lockdown lifting, as quite rightly so as they are entitled to a life, then how are they less of a risk than family of pwd. Visitors could be kept away from communal areas.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
398
What a dreadful reply @Palerider, they totally failed to address the issue.
I think your reply was spot on but I don’t hold out much hope they will respond with much understanding or compassion.
 
Last edited:

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
580
Unfortunately, my mums care home were allowing socially distanced visits in a gazebo in the garden until they had 10 cases of positive Covid 19 tests among the residents and in four carers. My mum is one of them so you can imagine how anxious I have been - according to the GP, although not displaying expected Covid symptoms, she has been unwell and needed extra care. So now all visits have ceased.

On the one hand I am sad as I don't know when I'll be able to see mum again but on the other hand, I welcome any measures to prevent another outbreak. No one knows though who first brought the virus into the home, they only had two cases in April and none since until two weeks ago.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,514
Unfortunately, my mums care home were allowing socially distanced visits in a gazebo in the garden until they had 10 cases of positive Covid 19 tests among the residents and in four carers. My mum is one of them so you can imagine how anxious I have been - according to the GP, although not displaying expected Covid symptoms, she has been unwell and needed extra care. So now all visits have ceased.

On the one hand I am sad as I don't know when I'll be able to see mum again but on the other hand, I welcome any measures to prevent another outbreak. No one knows though who first brought the virus into the home, they only had two cases in April and none since until two weeks ago.
So sorry to hear your Mum has tested positive and you can't visit anymore. Do hope she's feeling better very soon.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
What I can't understand is how it's ok for staff to take full advantage of lockdown lifting, as quite rightly so as they are entitled to a life, then how are they less of a risk than family of pwd. Visitors could be kept away from communal areas.
Indeed this is a conversation I have had with the care home staff who also think the same -they are scratching their heads at the guidance which isn't fit for purpose.

The other problem that few have realised is how care homes are designed and built now poses a problem. The quick build 'get as many in as you can' philosphy has now backfired somewhat! Clearly care homes like hospitals need adequate space for infection outbreaks -which means more cost in design and build! It also adds to the current problem in addressing a range of issues -visiting being just one of them.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Hi @Palerider, I think you have summed it up rather well. The seeming refusal to look for solutions when the rest of life seems to be opening up regardless is unfair. Basically draconian measures due to the horrendous errors made by the Government with Care Homes at the start of the pandemic. Some care homes have been closed to visitors for 6-7 months now and that is a large proportion of many at end of life time left, when their comfort and happiness is seeing their loved ones. You are spot on it's simply not good enough to point at the guidance and do nothing - it's not fair on those with dementia and not fair on their loved ones.
Well said!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Unfortunately, my mums care home were allowing socially distanced visits in a gazebo in the garden until they had 10 cases of positive Covid 19 tests among the residents and in four carers. My mum is one of them so you can imagine how anxious I have been - according to the GP, although not displaying expected Covid symptoms, she has been unwell and needed extra care. So now all visits have ceased.

On the one hand I am sad as I don't know when I'll be able to see mum again but on the other hand, I welcome any measures to prevent another outbreak. No one knows though who first brought the virus into the home, they only had two cases in April and none since until two weeks ago.
Hmm difficult for you @Lynmax. But I just wonder that if care homes stop filling up to capacity (knowing the risks of close communal living) the spread of infection could be reduced. Strikes me as an odd situation -on the one hand lockdowns and no visiting, but on the other filling up care homes to full capacity. No one can be sure that swabbing is a false negative as the specificy is only at 70%. It seems that lockdown has become a method of reassurnace to the public, but it isn't prevention, it's late reaction and control -which is one approach.

There were five residents on mums wing with Covid, but mum didn't get it even though she is a wanderer -but mums wing is a large unit with 18 beds and very spacious. I do worry about Covid as well, but there comes a point when the disease becomes the focus towards end of life and that means quality of life, seeing the person as well all the other problems care homes face.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Well I was beginning to look for a legal firm that will deal with these matters, having already spoken with one firm. However, today a letter has turned up in the post from our MP (who has been very supportive). The letter forwards a copy of the response from the Director of Public Health for the area -finally! It seems that the ball is rolling after weeks of a status quo! Just hope that this now sees some benefit.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
887
Hi @Palerider, hopefully your Mum's care home will take some urgent action to implement a workable solution for you, it's been so unfair on you both.

Any joy with the house hunting?

All the best.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Any joy with the house hunting?
Funny you should ask. Its proving rather difficult to find somewhere half decent as there is a rush on properties at the moment. I saw one which was perfect and really liked the look of, but couldn't get a viewing as there were 50 before me. Safe to say it went pdq. Still looking and time is running out, been asked to go in and sign the contract on our side already :rolleyes:
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
887
Goodness @Palerider, that really is awful - is that the pent up demand from lockdown or something else going on locally? What are you going to do?
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Can't sleep again, up anyway in 50mins. Thought I'd share this Spitfire fly over from Tuesday as a thank you to the NHS, though personally I think it should have just zig zagged across the whole of the UK
WhatsApp Image 2020-08-18 at 11.21.41 AM.jpeg
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,025
North West
Things aren't going well this week.

Found out today that the manager of mum's care home has been given the order of the boot. I kept on wondering why there was no communication from the home itself ...turns out this happened a few weeks ago. One of the nurses on mums wing is leaving onto to pastures new -she will be missed as she has been fab with mum and the other residents. She was telling me that agency use is high and it makes her work much harder as she has to keep an eye on some of them. Yes I know I thought, not easy! And what about Covid-19 and multiple agency staff?? She said she will miss my mum, ah yes so do I! I managed to find out what was happening about visiting -turns out there is no one to manage it currently and the interim manager is already in a tiswas. Hmm this isn't how things were sold to me by head office! I was told a very different story about why visiting isn't being allowed.

Anyway I wished the nurse all the best in her new job and thanked her for looking after my mum, she seemed sad to be leaving the residents behind, but not at 'leaving'. She told me how mum cried when I spoke to her on the phone a few weeks ago as she recognised my voice and kept on saying its Simon with tears rolling down her cheeks -this of course got me quite teary, and has made me more determined to sort the matter of visiting. I feel another more awkward letter evolving.....watch this space!

Still no joy on the housing front -every property I've shown an interest in has been snapped up -things are getting desperate
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,802
South East
I’m sorry you are having a rough week ,sad about the nice nurse leaving , (was a touch insensitive to tell you about your mum being upset after your call I feel though ) and that manager has already gone . I think you are right in sending another letter , it really isn’t families fault that the manager can’t facilitate visits , it is really so serious that you are still being stopped from being with your lovely mum . Good luck with getting some answers . I hope you have some luck finding your new home somewhere soon 👍
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,642
Bedford
It certainly was a rubbish week. I understood that your Mum was quite settled there. It is sad that one of the good staff is leaving. Hopefully a new Manager will come in and the staff situation will also improve and more permanent staff will come in.
I did not realise how bad the housing situation is at the moment. I will keep fingers crossed that something turns up soon for you.