Hello Fishgirl,
I have really appreciated this thread and all of the comments, I can only say that if you consider yourself a nasty person I must be pure evil.
My husband is 12 years older than me and insisted that I keep working until I was 60, three years into my retirement his illnesses started and now I find that the last ten years have been around of hospitals, clinics etc everything is about him.
Four years ago he was sectioned and since then has been in care but I must be so brainwashed that I visit everyday, I just never take a break, but believe me I am resentful, all the things I wanted to do have just not happened and so far the care costs are running at £191000 as we are self funding.
Some days I just want to scream 'what about me' but I think if I started screaming I wouldn't stop.
I am envious of couples who seem to be enjoying life and I have found that for me, although he is in care I have no freedom. I am frightened to go on holiday because I have this vision of something happening and not being able to get back.
I do ponder the future and I think at this rate it looks a bit daunting, he will be cared for but if I outlive him I will be on my own and pretty skint. Still who said life is fair, it's most certainly not for people in our situation.
Best wishes to all on this journey.
Kathy