Grumpy OH

[margherita]

Hi everyone,
Hope you are all well.
Tomorrow I' ll be in Milan, celebrating Christmas with my son and his father.
Only a few hours , but it will be a breath of fresh air.
We'll be having a simple and light meal.
I have cooked my husband's meal for tomorrow and put it in the fridge.
Hope he can see it
The last time I went away, he did not eat what I had left for him, even though I had told him about what I had prepared.
This time I won't say anything. Waste of time. Besides forgetting things, he often seems unable to see what is just under his eyes.

Good night to all of you!

 

[Izzy]

Have a lovely time Margherita.

 

[Beads]

Hi everyone,
Hope you are all well.
Tomorrow I' ll be in Milan, celebrating Christmas with my son and his father.
Only a few hours , but it will be a breath of fresh air.
We'll be having a simple and light meal.
I have cooked my husband's meal for tomorrow and put it in the fridge.
Hope he can see it
The last time I went away, he did not eat what I had left for him, even though I had told him about what I had prepared.
This time I won't say anything. Waste of time. Besides forgetting things, he often seems unable to see what is just under his eyes.

Good night to all of you!

Hi margherita fantastic news I am so pleased for you . It will lift your spirit so much. I expect as I write this you are with your son & ex now. I hope you are having a great time & a lovely meal & catch up. I wouldn't worry about OH as he never eats what you leave him . He still manages to feed himself so he won't starve. Safe journey home I hope you have made arrangements for another visit in the near future. . Bye for now speak soon take care. Xx

 

[Beads]

Hi @ MIA56 how's things with you not heard much, I know you will still be possibly getting all put straight. Hope you well & not too stressed. Take care hope to hear from you soon. We all seem to be either too busy or we are so stressed & sick & fed up. bye for now.xx
Hi @ longlostfan hope you keeping well. How's things where you are. You seem to have gone off the radar for awhile hope u ok. Take care speak soon. Xx

 

[margherita]

@MIA56 ,
so sorry you are not well.
I know how we feel when we are not well and nobody cares.
I wish you were my neighbour to help you

 

[margherita]

Hi margherita fantastic news I am so pleased for you . It will lift your spirit so much. I expect as I write this you are with your son & ex now. I hope you are having a great time & a lovely meal & catch up. I wouldn't worry about OH as he never eats what you leave him . He still manages to feed himself so he won't starve. Safe journey home I hope you have made arrangements for another visit in the near future. . Bye for now speak soon take care. Xx

Hi @Beads ,
my husband did not starve.
I had cooked both chicken and fish, only to warm up in the microwave.
When I got home he told me he had eaten fish, but since there was no chicken left, I suppose he ate it.
Never mind.. I gave him the fish for dinner (is it the right word for the evening meal?).
My day in Milan was a good one.
I had not seen my son since September
We have daily phone calls, but we seldom see each other.
The relationship with my ex husband ( I divorced him 30 years ago) is good , after a stormy divorce. Time passes by,
he belongs to the past.
Now I am back.. under house arrest

 

[longlostfan]

Hi everyone I haven’t been on here for a while but I’m still here if you all know what I mean. And you all sound stressed - can relate - things we wish we didn’t have in common, eh?
@Beads sorry to hear about your Christmas, it would have been nice to have gone somewhere else for a change and I bet you can’t wait till the 28th..........days off, that will be marvellous for you and you deserve it..
@MIA56 , sorry you’ve been unwell, you’ve had to do so much, hope you feel a bit better now...@margherita , all my sympathy to you too, like all of us, whatever we do we just can’t win in the long run. Suppose we have to grab whatever little things we can.
Actually wish I could follow my own advice there.....shall be glad when Christmas is over but also guilty that I’m wishing time and my life away like that. Have been feeling very tired lately, as I know have all of you. We should have a virtual drink up together shouldn’t we? Hey that’d be good.
Am trying to stay positive but finding it a bit hard at the moment, probably the time of year etc.
I think we’re all wonderful ladies, even if the ones we ‘re looking after don’t or won’t realise it.
Love to you all xx

 

[longlostfan]

Hi @ MIA56 how's things with you not heard much, I know you will still be possibly getting all put straight. Hope you well & not too stressed. Take care hope to hear from you soon. We all seem to be either too busy or we are so stressed & sick & fed up. bye for now.xx
Hi @ longlostfan hope you keeping well. How's things where you are. You seem to have gone off the radar for awhile hope u ok. Take care speak soon. Xx

Hi Beads, thanks, am still here - sort of - in a kind of limbo as I feel very tired at the moment. Christmas I think and all the usual stress plus plus. However, am trying to gee myself up. Like you am having Christmas dinner etc at mine. Shall be glad when Christmas is over yet feel guilty about wishing that, if you know what I mean. I hope you have a great break away - you need it. I am trying to be more positive about stuff (difficult) as we all are. I don’t think the pressure at this time of year helps any of us, but then I feel like an old misery guts being bah humbug! Sorry your OH Wouldn’t go to your family for Christmas Day - I know mine wouldn’t either or at the last minute wouldn’t have gone!
Shall have to make sure am well stocked with booze to help things along.
Take care xx

 

[margherita]

all my sympathy to you too, like all of us, whatever we do we just can’t win in the long run. Suppose we have to grab whatever little things we can.

Hi @longlostfan
Yesterday I was talking with my 40-year-old son on the phone.
He's going to leave for Apulia with his latest fiancé (they have been together since August), where a Christmas family reunion will take place.
For different reasons which it would be too long to explain, he does not know if he is doing the right thing. She asked him not to go with her if he is not sure about their relationship, which he isn't..
Anyway the decision has been made..and I suggested he should try to be well himself and make her be well too, one day at a time.
I should take my own advice, if I were wise

 

[Beads]

Hi @Beads ,
my husband did not starve.
I had cooked both chicken and fish, only to warm up in the microwave.
When I got home he told me he had eaten fish, but since there was no chicken left, I suppose he ate it.
Never mind.. I gave him the fish for dinner (is it the right word for the evening meal?).
My day in Milan was a good one.
I had not seen my son since September
We have daily phone calls, but we seldom see each other.
The relationship with my ex husband ( I divorced him 30 years ago) is good , after a stormy divorce. Time passes by,
he belongs to the past.
Now I am back.. under house arrest

@margherita so pleased you had an enjoyable day. Will have been lovely spending time with your son. It's strange isn't it with exses it was awhile before I could speak to mine. It was a nasty divorce, but years on & we now can chat ok. All in the past as you say. I hope you can manage to get away again soon , I hope you have a peaceful Xmas & new year . Ye we are all under house arrest we haven't a lot of choice. Never mind we will survive. Bye for now speak soon.xx

 

[Beads]

Hi Beads, thanks, am still here - sort of - in a kind of limbo as I feel very tired at the moment. Christmas I think and all the usual stress plus plus. However, am trying to gee myself up. Like you am having Christmas dinner etc at mine. Shall be glad when Christmas is over yet feel guilty about wishing that, if you know what I mean. I hope you have a great break away - you need it. I am trying to be more positive about stuff (difficult) as we all are. I don’t think the pressure at this time of year helps any of us, but then I feel like an old misery guts being bah humbug! Sorry your OH Wouldn’t go to your family for Christmas Day - I know mine wouldn’t either or at the last minute wouldn’t have gone!
Shall have to make sure am well stocked with booze to help things along.
Take care xx

Hi longlostfan nice to see you back on here , Ye reading the posts most of us are stressed .. I feel the same as you, my heart just isn't in it this year. It's like there is a downer on it , I'm usually buzzing but somehow I'm just not feeling it. I suppose once the day is here we will be happier as like yourself we will have our families around us. That always cheers me up & the grandkids . Was just saying to OH I hope he gets up early on Xmas day. That put him in a strop straight away with a sarky reply of "I might do. " Ye would have been a nice change to go to daughters for Xmas but misery said he wasn't going anywhere. Thankyou I can't wait to get away so need to be away from OH. You don't realise how much looking after PWD affects us. Ye I will be having a few drinks over Xmas aswell will definitely help.Ok speak soon take care. Xx

 

[Beads]

Hi MIA56 sorry to read you have a virus I hope you are feeling a little better. Ye no one cares for the carer. We are supposed to suffer in silence & just get on with it. You take good care of yourself . Speak soon .xx

 

[margherita]

Hi everyone,
It is Christmas, at last .
Yesterday night we celebrated Christmas Eve, only the two of us.
Red table cloth and candles.. And a typical Sicilian dish, "pasta con le sarde (sardines)"
Not everyone likes it. The pasta must be a kind of hollow spaghetti, the sauce is made of fresh sardines (not the salted ones),wild fennel (the green part, picked before the plant blooms ), rasin, pine nuts, saffron, minced bread toasted with some oil..
Then we had some green salad.
We did not have a dessert. I had prepared Mont Blanc, a sweet made of minced chestnuts and dark chocolate (which you give the shape of a mountain) topped with whipped cream (the snow)
No guests today. Only the two of us, as usual. My husband seems to be peaceful. Not bad days on the whole.
Tomorrow we' ll go to my sister-in-law's in Milan.
The bad news is that my stepson is visiting us on 27th with his 17-year-old son.
They will be sleeping in a nearby b&b and have their meals with us. They seem to be leaving on the following day, in the afternoon.
The last time they were here I was kind and smiled to them, but hardly uttered a word and pretended I had lots of things to do not to stay with them.
I think I will do the same this time ,too.

Well...that's all
Once again I wish you a peaceful Christmas day.
I do not dare to say "merry"

 

[margherita]

She is much worse than the virus..
And my stepson will be visiting on 27th
Hope you're well, or at least, better.

I wish you a peaceful Christmas day

 

[margherita]

Hi @Beads ,
Are you ready to leave?
What did your OH say when you told him he is not going on holiday with you?

 

[Beads]

Hi ladies hope you all have had as good a Xmas as possible.
@MIA56 I hope you are feeling a bit better. Your stepdaughter is not a very nice person at all is she. Remarks like that she needs to keep to herself how bloody cheeky. I would be giving her a wide berth or a mouthful when you feel lots better. It's just not on. You look after yourself because no one else is . Sending (((hugs))) xxx
@margherita hope you well . Sounds like you had a nice Xmas with no traumas. Oh the dreaded stepson I would be like you keeping busy out of the way. At least he isn't stopping with you & it is just a short visit. What is it with step families it's like we are the wicked witches they don't have a kind word for us. Sticks & stones come to mind. We can really do without them good job we don't see them very often. Oh I have just been to Warfarin clinic with OH & got home I said to him I would be going away tomorrow & that he wasn't fit enough to go , as he wouldn't have wheelchair assistance @airport or mobile when we get there. I just said that would be no holiday for me I would be more stressed . Just told him I need a break which I definitely do & that our son would be seeing to him. He didn't say much as he knew what I was saying was right. Really he isn't happy I know that but if he can't meet me half way then so be it . He could have gone if he wasn't so unreasonable & agreed to help. I am so looking forward to this break. You take care margherita speak soon .xx
@longlostfan I hope you are feeling lots better as I know you were tired . This caring role really takes its toll on us both mentally & physically. Well we all managed to get through Xmas. Soon be into another year but I don't like to even think too far ahead because things can change in the blink of an eye. Thankyou I am looking forward to holiday. You take care of yourself & will speak soon . Bye for now. Xxx

 

[Kathys35]

Hi I am a new member ,my husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago . It will be good to speak to members with similar problems . I have been reading some of the letters and can relate to some of them . My hubby also has Parkinson's so I am dealing with double bubble . His children have turned agsinst me I guess It's so they don't have to help but I can always call on my daughters if I need to . Anyway I will carry on reading thus forum .

 

[margherita]

Hi @Beads ,
I'm so glad you will be on holiday, far from your husband's bad moods. You need a break.
I'm sure you will enjoy every minute of it

My stepson arrived with his son this afternoon.
I pretended to be glad to see them and disappeared into the kitchen .
When it was dinner time (8.00 pm) I told them it was ready ( in perfect butler style).
He played the role of the affectionate son and I played the role of the pleased hostess.
I am sure he is false, but I can be worse than him.

 

[Amethyst59]

Oh, the joys of Christmas and families!!

 

[margherita]

Hi I am a new member ,my husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago . It will be good to speak to members with similar problems . I have been reading some of the letters and can relate to some of them . My hubby also has Parkinson's so I am dealing with double bubble . His children have turned agsinst me I guess It's so they don't have to help but I can always call on my daughters if I need to . Anyway I will carry on reading thus forum .

Hi @Kathys35 ,
Welcome to the TP.
It is difficult to have to do with stepchildren. If they are young they are jealous and afraid to lose their parent's love. When they grow up, they are more afraid to lose their patent's money.
My stepson does not help, but I would not like to have him around. I do not trust him. The farthest, the better