Social services

[ian01]

Hi all, apologies I've not posted for a while. Mum is now diagnosed with Alzheimer's and she's 90. My question is about what social services and what they can or can't do. My brother who's nearly 55 still lives with Mum and is still using class A drugs in her house, he has massive debts due to his drug use which led to a brick thru her window, he never has any money despite working full time.. He's worked full-time all his life but has spent all of it and owns nothing, he was totally reliant on mum financially, she was paying all of his bills and has been stealing from her for over 20 years. Mum has a social worker who knows all about my brother. Can social services not remove him from the house? As he contributes nothing towards household bills etc. He's living there totally for free as he gives mum no money at all.

I have mums debit card due to him using it and stealing from her so she can't give him anymore money, nor can be use her card. She can't have any cash in the house because of him as he steals it.

Last Night I spoke to her and she was in tears saying he's shouting at her which I know is because he can't get any money off her now. This situation is an absolute nightmare for me and has a huge impact on my mental health, I don't know what to do for the best.

I have told social services I don't want deputyship as I'm not up to the responsibility so a solicitor has applied. Having mums debit card is very stressful as he pressures her into getting cash for him and then I have to refuse when she asks me causing big arguments between me and her.

What else can I do to protect her from him? I'm at my wits end and don't know how much more I can take.

Ian

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @ian01 This is a complicated matter and I am just not sure how to advise you. I would suggest that you contact the Alzheimer's Society helpline for advice. I have attached their details below.

Dementia Support Line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Jessbow]

I doubt it would be SS place to remove him. They would be more likely to remove her to a place of safety

 

[phill]

If anyone did manage to obtain a court order excluding your brother from your mother’s home, do you think he would comply with it? Presumably your mother would be living in the house by herself. If your brother tried to return to the house after such an order had made, do you think your mother would turn him away? If the answer is “no”, then the least worst solution may be for her to live elsewhere. In a different setting, she could still receive visits from him but (if that was in her best interests) her contact with him could be supervised. I suggest you talk this through with social services, as well as consider consulting a solicitor with expertise in Court of Protection work.