Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

[jugglingmum]

I think it is pretty widespread in the community now, so just as easy for a carer to bring it into a home.

Several people have had it at work in the last month, they weren't ill, but had some symptoms and tested, they didn't take any time off sick, just worked from home.

I possibly caught it off one of them, but don't have any tests at home, symptoms were whilst I wasn't in work and wasn't aware the first person had had it, so thought didn't even cross my mind it could be covid, until I was back in the office.

 

[Eddcorner]

Move is going ahead which I am slightly astonished by!

!!! Can't get my head around this one @sdmhred 🤔 I see your mum has received a negative test but it must still be a concern with the move still green-lighted & the level of potential risk.

 

[sdmhred]

I don’t get it but neither Manager seemed unduly concerned. I feel awful about it but as others say the risk is everywhere. My friend works in an elderly ward. Her daughter is positive - she felt off but tested negative. Still had to go to work although she was convinced she had it.

They are both good homes too. Although she was served notice she was very happy at the previous home and the care still was generally good…..I would still recommend it to others with a few caveats.

Mum had a mini paddy when I left her for a couple of hours and refused her meal 😱😱 Perked up quickly on my return and ate some sandwiches and fruit. Night staff were very good with her and she’s now tucked up quite happy Telling everyone she has had a good day.

I feel like I have ‘adulted’ big time. In amidst everything today we have completed on the flat sale of mum’s run down rental. Sold using POA via auction,,,,at least some money in the bank……as for trying to open a new account….mmmm….back to the old issue of no photo ID.

 

[Sarasa]

Glad that the move happened OK and that you've sold the rental place. I hope you can sort out the ID problem to open a new bank account. Hope your mother settles in well in the new place.

 

[Chizz]

Best wishes @sdmhred You're getting there.

 

[Rachael03]

I hope yesterday went well. Did you manage to get moved?

 

[Rachael03]

I hope yesterday went well. Did you manage to get moved?

Didn't see the latest posts, ignore above!

That is a serious day of adulting. Two major things accomplished and of course a challenge thrown in for good measure. Massive well done. I hope today is a day of idling in return (possibly wishful thinking!)

 

[sdmhred]

So almost a week on and I finally have energy for an update.

Mum and I have both remained well which I am so thankful for. Mum is settling well. She has no memory of the other home, or home itself so is fairly content as her need for food, care and my company is being met. We’ve had a bit of post dinner mild agitation but that’s nothing new and has settled quickly.

I spent the first few days comparing homes but decided as they were chalk and cheese no point and A waste of brain power. The new one seems much more laidback with mainly younger, but good staff. I found the sheer number to get to know overwhelming but am now finding familiar faces. I haven’t had the million and one forms to fill in yet.

Transfer and mobility wise mum is doing ok. They seem to use the old hoik up from the shoulder approach. I thought it had been outlawed but it is working for mum and transfer times have been much less stressful. The staff aren’t stressed or anxious about it so not feeding into mum.

She is on the bottom floor with late stage folk which mum has picked up on and tells me the people are all ‘funny’. Although she couldn’t participate in conversation she did enjoy being round the more able folk in the last home. I shall encourage her to join in some of the crafty activities as the upper more able floors join those so she may find that stimulating,

Shes had one shower which I’m really shocked by! The team lead who did it said it did take a lot of coaxing - but if she has the time and energy for it I’m not complaining. Mum said she had enjoyed it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ The last two times I showered her the shrieking was dire 🙈🙈

We’re resuming our evening TV watching together which is lovely, Some of the night staff have picked up on our love of hot chocolate and we’ve had them delivered which has been very kind ☕️☕️

Amusing moments have been:

- telling a member of staff that I am also in ‘rehab’ with a glint in my eye. She didn’t pick up on the love lie and wanted to know all about it….as mum was present the lies just kept rolling so goodness knows what the staff think about me 🙈🙈🤪🤪

- trying to help my brother cope with visiting by leaving them in the library away from the severe folk. After only 10 mins he reported someone came in and fell on the floor and he had to get staff. Apparently the chap was a carpet fitter and this is a regular behaviour!! Still lots of messages from my brother struggling to see those at end of d journey 😢

- tucking up mum and telling her Lorraine (super carer) would be looking after her. Mum saying is ‘that the big, fat one?’ Just as Lorraine entered the room 🙈🙈 I think Lorraine had encountered much worse!!!

As for me I hope to be able to have some me time soon. I am tho quite overwhelmed with all the sorting now needing doing. Ive seen to the utilities on the sold flat, cancelled the internet on mum’s coastal home but now have her rented flat to clean out and my own flat to awaken from its 2 year sleep!

I turned up today hoping to blag a lunch to help me out …..I was rewarded with a lovely roast chicken although I was also given a bib so I fitted in with David, Linda and Sheila also on our table 🙈🙈

 

[jennifer1967]

So almost a week on and I finally have energy for an update.

Mum and I have both remained well which I am so thankful for. Mum is settling well. She has no memory of the other home, or home itself so is fairly content as her need for food, care and my company is being met. We’ve had a bit of post dinner mild agitation but that’s nothing new and has settled quickly.

I spent the first few days comparing homes but decided as they were chalk and cheese no point and A waste of brain power. The new one seems much more laidback with mainly younger, but good staff. I found the sheer number to get to know overwhelming but am now finding familiar faces. I haven’t had the million and one forms to fill in yet.

Transfer and mobility wise mum is doing ok. They seem to use the old hoik up from the shoulder approach. I thought it had been outlawed but it is working for mum and transfer times have been much less stressful. The staff aren’t stressed or anxious about it so not feeding into mum.

She is on the bottom floor with late stage folk which mum has picked up on and tells me the people are all ‘funny’. Although she couldn’t participate in conversation she did enjoy being round the more able folk in the last home. I shall encourage her to join in some of the crafty activities as the upper more able floors join those so she may find that stimulating,

Shes had one shower which I’m really shocked by! The team lead who did it said it did take a lot of coaxing - but if she has the time and energy for it I’m not complaining. Mum said she had enjoyed it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ The last two times I showered her the shrieking was dire 🙈🙈

We’re resuming our evening TV watching together which is lovely, Some of the night staff have picked up on our love of hot chocolate and we’ve had them delivered which has been very kind ☕️☕️

Amusing moments have been:

- telling a member of staff that I am also in ‘rehab’ with a glint in my eye. She didn’t pick up on the love lie and wanted to know all about it….as mum was present the lies just kept rolling so goodness knows what the staff think about me 🙈🙈🤪🤪

- trying to help my brother cope with visiting by leaving them in the library away from the severe folk. After only 10 mins he reported someone came in and fell on the floor and he had to get staff. Apparently the chap was a carpet fitter and this is a regular behaviour!! Still lots of messages from my brother struggling to see those at end of d journey 😢

- tucking up mum and telling her Lorraine (super carer) would be looking after her. Mum saying is ‘that the big, fat one?’ Just as Lorraine entered the room 🙈🙈 I think Lorraine had encountered much worse!!!

As for me I hope to be able to have some me time soon. I am tho quite overwhelmed with all the sorting now needing doing. Ive seen to the utilities on the sold flat, cancelled the internet on mum’s coastal home but now have her rented flat to clean out and my own flat to awaken from its 2 year sleep!

I turned up today hoping to blag a lunch to help me out …..I was rewarded with a lovely roast chicken although I was also given a bib so I fitted in with David, Linda and Sheila also on our table 🙈🙈

saves it going down the top. we use tea towels for my husband. the under arm was outlawed because it has potential to dislocate the shoulder. i find it easier but methods move on i suppose

 

[sdmhred]

Yes, the other home used the new push from the back technique but it made her feel out of control whereas this way she feels supported. It’s what I have always used with her too so may feel more comfortable.

 

[canary]

So glad to hear your updates @sdmhred 😊

Ive had a horrendous day, but your amusing moments made me laugh and have cheered me up.
I remember mum talking about "the big fat" carer, when actually she was 7 months pregnant.......... (not that mum believed that and would say "ooh, who ate all the pies?" every time she went past)

 

[sdmhred]

🤣🤣 I’m glad we’ve cheered ur day @canary

I think some of these things can only be appreciated and bring amusement to dementia carers!

I do hope tomorrow is a better day for you …..

 

[Rachael03]

Glad to hear an update from you and that your mum seems to be settling in well to the home. You must be so exhausted with your brain processing everything, hope you get a chance to catch a breath now for a moment.

My mum occasionally makes the odd non-PC comment too when we are out and about. Luckily been out of earshot of the innocent victims most times 🤣 we have to find the laughs in it somewhere

 

[Knitandpurl]

Ooh my OH is very good with at the non PC . In his case usually remarks that could very easily be considered sexual harassment, he thinks he’s flirting and being funny.

 

[sdmhred]

Can’t resist this little gem if u have been following the ethical questions thread…

I arrived tonight to find mum clutching some little red counters….looked slightly like connect 4 counters. Mum was resolutely refusing to give them up saying they were hers. I piped in that they definitely weren’t….another carer walks in and solves the mystery……mum had been to bingo and so they must have been her card markers or whatever they’re called.

At this point my baptist down the line Dad reels from heaven 😱😱😱 bingo and gambling were well out of order….I was brought up to even think a raffle was out of order 🙈🙈🤣🤣 and there was mum clutching onto her bingo counters 🤣🤣

And ethically she would so NOT have done bingo pre dementia but clearly had willingly partaken this afternoon…

Made us children all chuckle….with no disrespect to Dad who would remain horrified…and mum actually probably sad…so I’m glad she didn’t have insight to that and enjoyed her game 🙈🙈

 

[sdmhred]

Gosh - I need to supply mum with a Christmas jumper for the big light switch on day 🙈🙈 have delegated that one to siblings!

I noticed on FB they also did book day and children in need day - arent they parental nightmares? 🙈🙈🤣🤣

 

[jennifer1967]

Gosh - I need to supply mum with a Christmas jumper for the big light switch on day 🙈🙈 have delegated that one to siblings!

I noticed on FB they also did book day and children in need day - arent they parental nightmares? 🙈🙈🤣🤣

yep! costumes for book day are a nightmare and children in need. if you have 3 children in school, they get expensive as well along side all the kids wanting a book. they have christmas jumper days as well for a charity.

 

[jugglingmum]

Gosh - I need to supply mum with a Christmas jumper for the big light switch on day 🙈🙈 have delegated that one to siblings!

I noticed on FB they also did book day and children in need day - arent they parental nightmares? 🙈🙈🤣🤣

We did costumes for book day, but don't remember the same issues with children in need - think that was buying the boppers in the supermarket and own clothes.

Although I do remember colouring my son's hair red for comic relief one year (with the spray sold to fundraise) and it didn't come out for days - he had very blond hair at the time.

One year I made a Gruffalo costume for son for book day, sewing lots of purple paper cones onto his brown fluffy fleece - took hours.

I did smile at your bingo dilemma - however I suspect the winner got no significant financial reward so maybe no gambling involved, if that helps you salve your mum's conscience.

 

[jennifer1967]

my husband made a costume for our youngest daughter which involved a box being worn but cant remember what, my daughter might remember. it got first prize.
its a bit too easy these days when the shops sell the costumes so just got to pick one up rather than improvise

 

[sdmhred]

Mum has now been provided with I have to say a rather tasteful Christmas jumper from my brother. We had a family gathering at the care home today which was stress free 😃😃 My SIL doesnt seem phased by the PWD at various stages but my brother is uncomfortable 🙈🙈 so we escaped to relative peace in the library…..mum bless her thinks she’s been on an outing!

Mum is very settled and I am enjoying having relaxing evenings together. I turn up after dinner and usually help her into her nightie and loungewear and then we relax until the carers help her to bed around 9pm. I may have said last time but it’s nice to do one thing normal!

Her mobility is so much better here - no hoisting needed. I think she’s much less stimulated so I’m not seeing brain overload….also the carers are very encouraging and reassuring. I think in the old place there was one influential lady who thought it was mum ‘playing up’ 😢😢

We had a blip with a wound infection and a delay to get appropriate treatment but I am told it was due to the regular GP being on holiday. We will need to follow all that up next week …..she has been referred to tissue specialist nurse which hopefully will be helpful as her skin is so fragile.

im off this week - I’ve been told to take time for ‘me’….mmmm…Ive had to tidy and clean the flat as agents showing round potential tenants [i’ll move back to my place] and I need to sell mum’s car which I’m sad about.

Also I guess I need to ask about her care plan as no-one has said anything about that …altho they do say she has one and she is clearly being cared for well, What sort of things do I need to ask about?????