Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
I am inspired by those recording their stories over long term threads. I don’t want to record the horrid side so much but remember those bitter sweet dementia moments that make me smile

Today I have just watched my lovely mum carefully dab her dry pad with the loo paper rather than wipe herself. it was so gentle and carefully done it could only make me smile 🥰🥰

My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,838
0
Essex
I am inspired by those recording their stories over long term threads. I don’t want to record the horrid side so much but remember those bitter sweet dementia moments that make me smile

Today I have just watched my lovely mum carefully dab her dry pad with the loo paper rather than wipe herself. it was so gentle and carefully done it could only make me smile 🥰🥰

My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
Type the name of the this thread into this part of the forum and it should come up. You just reminded me of my old thread 'The Lighter Side Of Alzheimers' you might like to try and look this up. What you've just described is only what is carers can cherish ❤️.

MaNaAk
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,485
0
Kent
Great idea @sdmhred
With apols for length.
Throughout our marriage my wife has been a really super cook - made all our bread and bread rolls (without breadmaker machine), yogurts, ice cream, pickles, preserves, etc., catered for family parties, dinner parties, exotic dishes, etc., etc, - and had collected numerous cook books and her own handwritten recipes and secrets.

She also went to various classes and courses. At one of these, there was a Dutchman, who regularly turned up with various Indonesian spices, with the packets in Indonesian so there would be no clue what each was or was for,

Since my wife became ill 6 years ago, it fell to me to do all the shopping and cooking etc. I only did simple stuff to begin with, then I started to read recipes and expand the repertoire. I have got rid of most of the dinner party recipe books as I'm never going to do the fancy stuff my wife loved to do.

My daughter suggested going through cupboards and possibly clearing up stuff that I no longer need. Well earlier today I went through the kitchen cupboard where we keep herbs and spices and sauces etc. Some of them, well passed their "best fore" dates by a long long way! It is probably nearly 20 years since my wife last went to a cooking class/course.

My wife cannot now hold a conversation other than to answer whether cup of tea is too hot or not, etc and often talks randomly and incoherently.

I came across several small paper packages with labels printed in Indonesian. I showed them to my OH and asked her what they were and what they were for. Well, knock me down with a feather, without a moment's hesitation she said "Ah, the Dutchman gave me those for the curries."

My daughter has challenged me to use them for our next curry! It is likely to be a bitter/sweet moment if they don't poison us!
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,636
0
I am inspired by those recording their stories over long term threads. I don’t want to record the horrid side so much but remember those bitter sweet dementia moments that make me smile

Today I have just watched my lovely mum carefully dab her dry pad with the loo paper rather than wipe herself. it was so gentle and carefully done it could only make me smile 🥰🥰

My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
My recently started diary thread @sdmhred is also an attempt to record some of those lighter episodes in what can oft be a bit of a roller coaster ride! It's so easy sometimes to just get caught up with negatives, I think we all need that reminder of the good stuff too. @MaNaAk is spot on with her advice and I reckon I'll try and catch up with her thread also :)
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,838
0
Essex
Great idea @sdmhred
With apols for length.
Throughout our marriage my wife has been a really super cook - made all our bread and bread rolls (without breadmaker machine), yogurts, ice cream, pickles, preserves, etc., catered for family parties, dinner parties, exotic dishes, etc., etc, - and had collected numerous cook books and her own handwritten recipes and secrets.

She also went to various classes and courses. At one of these, there was a Dutchman, who regularly turned up with various Indonesian spices, with the packets in Indonesian so there would be no clue what each was or was for,

Since my wife became ill 6 years ago, it fell to me to do all the shopping and cooking etc. I only did simple stuff to begin with, then I started to read recipes and expand the repertoire. I have got rid of most of the dinner party recipe books as I'm never going to do the fancy stuff my wife loved to do.

My daughter suggested going through cupboards and possibly clearing up stuff that I no longer need. Well earlier today I went through the kitchen cupboard where we keep herbs and spices and sauces etc. Some of them, well passed their "best fore" dates by a long long way! It is probably nearly 20 years since my wife last went to a cooking class/course.

My wife cannot now hold a conversation other than to answer whether cup of tea is too hot or not, etc and often talks randomly and incoherently.

I came across several small paper packages with labels printed in Indonesian. I showed them to my OH and asked her what they were and what they were for. Well, knock me down with a feather, without a moment's hesitation she said "Ah, the Dutchman gave me those for the curries."

My daughter has challenged me to use them for our next curry! It is likely to be a bitter/sweet moment if they don't poison us!
I'm half Malay and Indonesians speak Malay so I may be able to translate some of them although it is my second language.

Selamat Hari Easter.

MaNaAk
 

ClaireeW

Registered User
Sep 22, 2021
66
0
I am inspired by those recording their stories over long term threads. I don’t want to record the horrid side so much but remember those bitter sweet dementia moments that make me smile

Today I have just watched my lovely mum carefully dab her dry pad with the loo paper rather than wipe herself. it was so gentle and carefully done it could only make me smile 🥰🥰

My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
If you click "watch", you'll be alerted to new posts via the little bell sign at the top of the page
 

Attachments

  • AEC80240-44A2-4E75-AFCF-1B44AAE06693.jpeg
    AEC80240-44A2-4E75-AFCF-1B44AAE06693.jpeg
    127.6 KB · Views: 158

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,237
0
72
Dundee
@sdmrhed - you can also bookmark a thread. I’ve done a screenshot to show where the book mark icon is - so sorry about the weird yellow line. Couldn’t find how to do an arrow!!

00F2CE00-B8A5-4804-932A-CBD398B9D2CB.jpeg
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,048
0
South coast
My question though is how do I not lose this thread but be able to come back to it when needed?? I sometimes lose things I want to follow here …
Click on "watch" (in blue at the top right side of the thread). It will then become one of your watched threads and you can find it again by going to the Forums heading that has a little down arrow beside it. Click on that and you will find "watched threads"
You will also get notification if anyone posts on it.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
Great idea @sdmhred
With apols for length.
Throughout our marriage my wife has been a really super cook - made all our bread and bread rolls (without breadmaker machine), yogurts, ice cream, pickles, preserves, etc., catered for family parties, dinner parties, exotic dishes, etc., etc, - and had collected numerous cook books and her own handwritten recipes and secrets.

She also went to various classes and courses. At one of these, there was a Dutchman, who regularly turned up with various Indonesian spices, with the packets in Indonesian so there would be no clue what each was or was for,

Since my wife became ill 6 years ago, it fell to me to do all the shopping and cooking etc. I only did simple stuff to begin with, then I started to read recipes and expand the repertoire. I have got rid of most of the dinner party recipe books as I'm never going to do the fancy stuff my wife loved to do.

My daughter suggested going through cupboards and possibly clearing up stuff that I no longer need. Well earlier today I went through the kitchen cupboard where we keep herbs and spices and sauces etc. Some of them, well passed their "best fore" dates by a long long way! It is probably nearly 20 years since my wife last went to a cooking class/course.

My wife cannot now hold a conversation other than to answer whether cup of tea is too hot or not, etc and often talks randomly and incoherently.

I came across several small paper packages with labels printed in Indonesian. I showed them to my OH and asked her what they were and what they were for. Well, knock me down with a feather, without a moment's hesitation she said "Ah, the Dutchman gave me those for the curries."

My daughter has challenged me to use them for our next curry! It is likely to be a bitter/sweet moment if they don't poison us!
Ah I love this @Chizz. I hope you get to enjoy a lovely curry. I find moments such as what you describe just provide that incentive to keep going amidst the dementia onslaught 🥰🥰
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
Type the name of the this thread into this part of the forum and it should come up. You just reminded me of my old thread 'The Lighter Side Of Alzheimers' you might like to try and look this up. What you've just described is only what is carers can cherish ❤️.

MaNaAk
Thankyou @MaNaAk - I shall look up your thread. I enjoy reading others lighter stories too….
im interested your half Malaysian. My SIL is Chinese Malaysian from KL. They are expecting and call the unborn baby Bao Bao. Mum is convinced it’s a name for a puppy not a baby - we have persuaded her A baby is on its way but she also thinks a puppy is coming too!! As with dementia she won’t be persuaded otherwise so we have to make sure we refer now to baby Bao Bao and Puppy Bao Bao - who is entirely invented!!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,838
0
Essex
Thankyou @MaNaAk - I shall look up your thread. I enjoy reading others lighter stories too….
im interested your half Malaysian. My SIL is Chinese Malaysian from KL. They are expecting and call the unborn baby Bao Bao. Mum is convinced it’s a name for a puppy not a baby - we have persuaded her A baby is on its way but she also thinks a puppy is coming too!! As with dementia she won’t be persuaded otherwise so we have to make sure we refer now to baby Bao Bao and Puppy Bao Bao - who is entirely invented!!
Dear @sdmhred,

Dad was from Kedah, West Malaysia but we lived Sabah, East Malaysia (North Borneo) in the seventies. Dad's curries were out of this world and we used to cook together. Can suggest you try fried chicken and fish coated in turmeric? Also you might like to know that the Malay word for baby is bayi.

Try saying "Apa khabar" (how are you)? To your SIL!

MaNaAk
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,485
0
Kent
Yes, its strange how things change, or there is a glimpse of light, or there is a clear and relevant comment.

This afternoon, just having a cup of tea, and bearing in mind it was a lovely sunny afternoon showing off the spring flowers in the garden, my OH suddenly said "Hold me. There's a storm coming" (And I thought the storm had already been with us these last few years!). I held her, and for those moments, it felt like old times, although she was probably being a little girl scared of the storm she felt.

I suppose we have to expect the unexpected.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
Dear @sdmhred,

Dad was from Kedah, West Malaysia but we lived Sabah, East Malaysia (North Borneo) in the seventies. Dad's curries were out of this world and we used to cook together. Can suggest you try fried chicken and fish coated in turmeric? Also you might like to know that the Malay word for baby is bayi.

Try saying "Apa khabar" (how are you)? To your SIL!

MaNaAk
Thankyou @MaNaAk, this is most interesting 😀 I have just sat down and looked at these places on the map. Mum and I saw that Sabah is near Sarawak where she taught for a year in the 60’s. She loved it!!
SIL is also quite a bit of a foodie so I will ask her to cook those recipes sometime. It would be lovely to find some Malay takeaways!
I do hope one day post dementia to travel to these places myself x
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,838
0
Essex
Thankyou @MaNaAk, this is most interesting 😀 I have just sat down and looked at these places on the map. Mum and I saw that Sabah is near Sarawak where she taught for a year in the 60’s. She loved it!!
SIL is also quite a bit of a foodie so I will ask her to cook those recipes sometime. It would be lovely to find some Malay takeaways!
I do hope one day post dementia to travel to these places myself x
It would be lovely to find Malay takeaways here as well. We lived in Kota Kinabalu in Sabah and still remember our excursions to the islands and to Mount Gunung) Kinabalu.


MaNaAk
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
Tiring couple of days bringing mum back from her home in Dorset to mine back in Surrey. Journey interrupted with a puncture which had me in slight panic. Mum took it all in her stride and was so used to waiting hours in the ‘olden days’ she was delighted the AA man arrived within 45 mins (probably due to me highlighting dementia passenger on board) and has been telling everyone about him…even though she doesn’t remember her actual holiday 🙈🙈

She also had a bonus McDonald’s drive through cheeseburger and still hasn’t quite got the system and ‘couldn’t believe her luck’ when it appeared through the hatch!

Back to work for me today - it’s sad that as the months go by it’s actually easier to work and care as mum no longer wants any entertainment but just sits and stares - and is happy and content With that. Her afternoon was broken with her brother calling from Canada- apart from telling him she never goes out (every day an outing here😱😱) she almost made me cry as she told him several times I was doing a great job looking after her and was very kind 🥰🥰🥰 My suspicion is that I’m not her daughter today but my mood lifted as she may not remember much but knows she is being cared for well. I’m aware how fortunate I am she has that bit of insight left….
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,147
0
Surrey
I always wonder how mum responds to seeing / hearing about dementia on the media. I don’t say anything unless she does. In the car today she heard abouta funds raising run for dementia on the radio and immediately asked if I would be running for her! She then said how much coverage dementia is getting at the moment - a bizarre moment of clarity and insight. She also said having dementia isn’t anything to make a ‘fuss about’ but needed my help to know where to put her hands on her walker ….and then having been left alone in the loo I discover this ..

we do live in a bizarre world……we did have a good chuckle tho!!!

2EBDCD80-5FAA-47F8-A492-73D9869E72F8.jpeg
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,485
0
Kent
Hi all.
Just reporting back from one of my earlier posts.
Well, when my daughter and her husband came on Sunday, I made a chicken curry using the Indonesian spices of unknown origin or substance. It's probably my lack of cooking skills and experience, as I made the dhal too runny, but the Indonesian spice sauce was v nearly at my upper limit of scoville level strength! My daughter and her husband were OK, but I'm sure I had some steam coming out of my ears! I had prepared a portion without any curry sauce for my OH, which is just as well as she never liked curries beyond mild.

The brown paper packets had said best before some time in 1999, so if the spices had lost any potency over time, I don't know what they would have been like on full power (so to speak).

Cheers.