advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
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Southampton
Braver than me Gunga Din! Not been in decades but I've been mostly fortunate in that department... phew! Glad your son is helping you out, I think I'd do a Damien from 'The Omen' (church scene) if I approached a building with the word dentist on the outside by myself 😱
it will only be anti-bios so no prodding as such. its a wisdom tooth that has partially come through which is the problem
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,323
0
Surrey
Is this same one as before Jennifer?

Sounds difficult if it’s half come through.

I have a half gone ‘covid’ tooth which was needing repair and then I’ve just left it now. One day I need the rest of it gone before it causes problems…..
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
Is this same one as before Jennifer?

Sounds difficult if it’s half come through.

I have a half gone ‘covid’ tooth which was needing repair and then I’ve just left it now. One day I need the rest of it gone before it causes problems…..
yes same one. problem is an emergency appt of 15 minutes just enough time to write a prescription for anti-bios. then if you need to have it taken out, its not an emergency and you have to find a dentist taking on and then wait on the list. so you are back onto emergency dentist some where down the line.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
my husband went to the shed this morning for the first time with protection. he was really good and said right lets do this together so i stuck it on his underwear. he has been having accidents coming back from the shed and has needed changing. he has a spare in his bag. so why am i the one stressing, whether its the right thing, whether it is thick enough. soon see when he comes home how efficient they have been.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
my oldest son took my husband into town for a surprise for me for easter. he came back with 2 beatrix potter china book stops. i have a collection of peter rabbit and beatrix potter things and books. absolutely love them. he continues to surprise me on this adventure
 

JAcky1205

Registered User
Jan 5, 2024
15
0
my husband has vascular dementia and is constantly ordering and demanding. hes constantly nagging me to do what he wants. immediately. i need to shorten his jeans so nagged again until i do them. i make sure the house is clean for him and he always has clean clothes. always got what he needs and wants. he explodes when he gets frustrated. tonight he has shouted at me and told me he doesnt want to see me again tonight. i gave him his meds and he was still stroppy. ive left him there. even nagging me about i havent had the jab yet, ive no control over that and his shouting is not going to get it any quicker.
the kids dont see any difference in him. its usually me thats the mad one. he takes the rise out of me and laughs about it. says stupid things then laughs. he can still cook but it doesnt wash things out very well. i have tried to ignore what he says not react but he scares me when he shouts. tonight for the first time in a while, i locked the bathroom door while having a shower. didnt feel safe to leave it unlocked. the other thing he does that i dont know how to handle is that he gropes. i have to go past his chair to go out the front room door and his hands is are outstretched to grab me. we have separate rooms and we dont have a physical relationship as such. we will hug and kiss goodnight but not any further. hes always been short-tempered but this is ongoing every day. i have to jump to commands. he presents like you wouldnt think anything is wrong. it hurts and all i can do is cry which seems to make no difference. we dont have carers and wont as he has capacity to say no. the dementia has exaggerated the temper he already had. any ideas?
You need some support and you should speak to your GP about getting some assistance and/or respite. It’s so tough on the loved ones living with someone with dementia. I feel for you - good luck
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
You need some support and you should speak to your GP about getting some assistance and/or respite. It’s so tough on the loved ones living with someone with dementia. I feel for you - good luck
that was posted nearly 3 years ago now, date at top of post. since then, he has been on memantine for over 2 years which hass calmed him down and is pleasant to know now. i contacted the gp who referred to older people mental health to assess and prescribe. i had to shout long and loud, and safe guarding. but now he still has his moments but i can cope with it better especially with the help from the forum and its members.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,323
0
Surrey
my oldest son took my husband into town for a surprise for me for easter. he came back with 2 beatrix potter china book stops. i have a collection of peter rabbit and beatrix potter things and books. absolutely love them. he continues to surprise me on this adventure
Well done him!
 

Eddcorner

Registered User
Aug 27, 2020
1,694
0
my husband went to the shed this morning for the first time with protection. he was really good and said right lets do this together so i stuck it on his underwear. he has been having accidents coming back from the shed and has needed changing. he has a spare in his bag. so why am i the one stressing, whether its the right thing, whether it is thick enough. soon see when he comes home how efficient they have been.
Brilliant that you're doing it together, I know you both want it to work. Fingers crossed 🤞
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
i need a moan. neither of us can cut grass/hedge. my oldest son and grandson tend to do it. its been so wet that we are just looking to do first cut. he as decided he needs to sort is life out. he told me not to pay anyone and he will do it. i asked for recommendations for someone on facebook and next door. one reply and we arraned for im to come. i then bottled out of it as my anxiety levels were through the roof. wish id stuck to it now. sorry a bit long winded - he is still sorting his life out. i broke down in tears tonight just feeling really overwhelmed. i know its the most stupidest thing but it comes on the back of other worries. my sleep pattern is all over the place, my eating is all over the place which means my blood sugars are all over the place ditto insulin. he is still getting the care he needs but hes worried because he can see i am.
i seem to get overwhelmed so quick these days over the most trivial thing. there are no answers but trying to deal with everything on my own. roll on the shed!
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,322
0
i need a moan. neither of us can cut grass/hedge. my oldest son and grandson tend to do it. its been so wet that we are just looking to do first cut. he as decided he needs to sort is life out. he told me not to pay anyone and he will do it. i asked for recommendations for someone on facebook and next door. one reply and we arraned for im to come. i then bottled out of it as my anxiety levels were through the roof. wish id stuck to it now. sorry a bit long winded - he is still sorting his life out. i broke down in tears tonight just feeling really overwhelmed. i know its the most stupidest thing but it comes on the back of other worries. my sleep pattern is all over the place, my eating is all over the place which means my blood sugars are all over the place ditto insulin. he is still getting the care he needs but hes worried because he can see i am.
i seem to get overwhelmed so quick these days over the most trivial thing. there are no answers but trying to deal with everything on my own. roll on the shed!
Moan away @jennifer1967 it's what we are here for. I was also overwhelmed yesterday, and shed a lot of tears, but then somehow today things seemed a little better. Hope that when your hubby starts back at the shed you begin to feel a little better. And eventually the weather will improve and the garden will get sorted. Sending you some virtual {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,171
0
Southampton
Moan away @jennifer1967 it's what we are here for. I was also overwhelmed yesterday, and shed a lot of tears, but then somehow today things seemed a little better. Hope that when your hubby starts back at the shed you begin to feel a little better. And eventually the weather will improve and the garden will get sorted. Sending you some virtual {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
thank you, hugs always appreciated. its like one thing tips you over. tears seem to be a release, a safety valve. glad you feel better today.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,065
0
Kent
I`d let the person who replied to your advert come and mow the lawn for you @jennifer1967 There`s no point waiting for family to sort their lives out, you want to sort yours out too.

It might not be too important for them but it is important to you and they need to realise it.

I know how uptight I get if I can`t get things done in the house and garden and I`m not a carer at the same time.