1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

you all deserve an award....

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by TED, Oct 27, 2004.

  1. TED

    TED Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    154
    Middlesex
    or at the very least an ice cream / large Vodka or something.

    Been catching up with all the goss and stuff here, having had a bad week to be honest.

    Gemini - know exactly how you feel, havent found the magic spell to make it all go ok but will let you know, in the meantime know that you are not alone and maybe write more cos there's plenty of valuable lessons in what you have to say.

    And to everyone else, thank you for keeping us from going totally mad (for now).

    Mum had a birthday party the other day, didnt even know it was for her, despite all the cards, flowers and stuff. The other night i was over for a while, and after I'd gone Mum asked my Dad "who was that, nice of them to come over" ... can't help being upset, soft lad that I am, and I know it doesnt get much better either, but how do you good people and full time carers deal with the anger and pent up rage that must come from time to time, do you have a punchbag or just bite your lip, maybe a cat to kick or a large bottle of Vodka to lose yourself in?? What helps....or dont you have the time ...

    look after yourselves
    TED / DAISY
     
  2. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    #2 gemini, Oct 27, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2004
    Hi Ted

    likewise if I find the magic spell I'll let you know also... but don't hold your breath..... I'm only just trying to get to grips with it myself...

    I've also had a bad week.... Trying to get the better of a really bad cough and cold.... the boiler has broken down ... but worse still.... my son saw a mouse in the downstairs loo yesterday... so now I'm feeling incredibly paranoid that I may have an uninvited house guest..... I've laid a couple of traps but as we live close to open countryside I suppose I'm bound to get the odd visiter ... but...... oh.... I really really don't like the thought..

    I'm so sorry to hear that your mum's birthday left you so upset. I've often found that it is the spoken words that can be so much more difficult to handle. I'm often quite bewildered by some of the things mum in law say's. I often go into my bedroom and stifle a pretend scream with a pillow.

    Put on your fave AC/DC CD, pour yourself a drink and try and chill for a couple of hours.. While your at it make mine a large Bacardi.

    In the meantime I'm off to yet again try to explain to mum in law why she can no longer get her pension from the post office... (it now goes straight into her bank).... wish me luck


    Best Regards
    Gemini
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Ted and Gemini,

    Not being recognised is pretty blah isn't it? I get a lot of it these days from both parents and it doesn't hurt quite so much now. The early days were awful and it made me feel really upset and weepy. Sadly, it's something that I have to come to accept as part of the illness and it's always a wonderful bonus when either of them actually do remember.

    Hang in there........

    Jude
     
  4. storm

    storm Registered User

    Aug 10, 2004
    269
    notts
    Dear Ted Gemini,We all get upset and angry and we all find differant ways of dealing with it.The trouble with having a drink is that alchol is a deppresant in its self so i dont do that one and i dont advise kicking the cat or you will set jude off on one of her rampages,i tend to stamp my feet and have a few silent screams it doesnt do much but everything passes given time.Just remember nobody can really know what goes on in the mind of someone with A/D even when that cant find the right words we dont really know what they understand or feel, and at least we have the memories of how they used to be, take each day as it comes and build new memories because i believe there can be good things to remember a smile a touch a laugh over some silly thing and these memories seem even more speceil because we dont take them for granted.Thats my sermon for today folks. storm
     
  5. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Storm,

    Rampage - who, moi?

    Jude
     
  6. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    #6 gemini, Oct 27, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2004
    Hi all

    Just got back from a really lovely evening with mum in law.... We talked endlessly about her old times... She remembered many things that she had previously forgotton. I was very encouraged. She told me she loved me and I suddenly felt myself 'filling up'. I kissed her and left.

    10 mins later I had frantic phone call from her....

    ....She had forgotten how to work the tv remote???

    off I go again....!!!!

    Love
    Gemini
     
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Dear all
    must be the time of year or the weather,I too have had a b---y awful week
    Augumentative,contentious,awkward.
    Dress on inside out--no it's not.What time is the eldest son comming in?He hasn't lived with us for donkey's years.
    Bite your tongue keep quiet,by god it's hard to do.I blow up but she's forgotten in 5 mimutes.
    Day to day
    Norman
     
  8. TED

    TED Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    154
    Middlesex
    cheers...

    Hi
    Having failed at several attempts to get fitter did actually kick the booze (not the cat) some time ago, any reference now to a large drink is purely artistic licence

    I have had anger/stress councelling though, and it's been found that whereas before I would lose myself in a bottle or two to release myself from what was worrying me it was defeating the object as someone rightly pointed out alcohol is a depressent so I ended up being worse than before.

    Needed something to get a release, and took up boxing, well kickboxing. Not for the sport but really for the exercise and there is nothing like laying into a punchbag with all you got to make you feel better. Am looking into getting one at home, and maybe work too !!

    Going to see Mum tonight, I know you all supportive when you say that you have to forget it and they dont mean things that are said, but I'm not built that strong as you guys and I still havent come to terms with what is happening.

    Best be going,
    you kids be cool

    TED / DAISY
     

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