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  2. Q&A: Dementia Together Magazine - Wed 25 April, 4-5pm

    Do you have any questions about Dementia together, previously known as Living with dementia magazine? Maybe you'd like to know how they worked with people affected by dementia to come up with the magazine's new name, or how they decide on the articles to publish each issue? Danny and Gareth from the magazine team will be on hand to answer your questions in this thread on Wednesday 25 April between 4-5pm.

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You’ve got to laugh...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grahamstown, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    When I bought mine, I didn't have the choice of a collar a hood on the one I wanted so mine has a hood.
    I think it would be more practical to go for the collar as the hood gets a bit bulky at your back and I don't use the hood anyway.
     
  2. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Still waiting to see it !!! Frustrating - I’ve paid so o
    Am happily locked in- just achoice on type and size
     
  3. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Very funny !!!
     
  4. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    My OH Always ate muesli with me each morning - occasionally porridge in winter - but his tastes change after heart attack and he asked for noodles - quite easy - I make him noodles each morning with veg and miso soup- I think it’s healthy but not what I would eat ! I suppose I have been forcing him into meusli for the last 20 years !!:p
     
  5. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Dear bathrobe fans-,:):D:p:rolleyes:
    Sorry - back to the bathrobe - honey is the fabric - looks lovely - yummy ochre colours and reds blues - the robe is not made as yet - so I am going blind - I have ordered medium size and I’ll send you all some phonetics when it arrives !!!
     
  6. carolynp

    carolynp Registered User

    Mar 4, 2018
    247
    Western Australia
    Oh thank you for update! Sounds so beautiful! Good luck with it. Waiting breathlessly. As you must be! Well done love C.
     
  7. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    227
    Cambs
    Made the mistake of discussing the plans for a short break we are going on. He thinks that he can walk as far as he wants, started trying to be rational but soon gave up and suggested alternatives. Whew it was a tricky moment but I laughed instead and said it was like trying to run a marathon without any training! He laughed too. I always make this mistake of trying to discuss things the way we did. Amazingly he has been on donepezil a week now and has given up alcohol, ‘while he is taking the pills’. He is SO much better for it, so my battles over the past few weeks and months have been worth it, so far, so good.
     
  8. carolynp

    carolynp Registered User

    Mar 4, 2018
    247
    Western Australia
    Oh Honey, I find this with my OH too: that if I can only make a joke he is so relieved and so ready to laugh. Well done you! And wonderful re the alcohol. Thinking of you. Good luck!
     
  9. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    227
    Cambs
    Thanks so much for your support and comfort. The past week has been much more tranquil apart from the restless evenings and coming up and down. He came down to say goodnight for the umpteenth time at the exact moment in the final part of a thriller where it was boiling up to a climax. Bad moment and had to stop him in his tracks and send him back to bed. Then I went up about 5 minutes later to say goodnight. He hates it when I do that because it’s difficult to make a joke out of it, but there is a limit and that’s mine. All forgotten this morning!
     
  10. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    How exciting! The colours sound gorgeous, lovely and warm. Have they given you a delivery date yet? In time for our winter I hope.
     
  11. imsoblue

    imsoblue Registered User

    Feb 19, 2018
    46
    It's amazing what a weekend of no (oaky, 1) falls and no incontinence can do for a carer's Monday morning. That One (OH's daughter) is picking him up tonight and keeping him until Saturday evening. I will be on a work trip. I am grateful for that. He has another daughter who lives in the same town as That One but she has volunteered any time with him. I'm sure she'll drop in when it's convenient for her.
    I thoroughly enjoyed my visit to the robe website! I giggled thinking how the staff must reacting to this surge of business from all over the world.
    Hope y'all have an unremarkable day!
     
  12. imsoblue

    imsoblue Registered User

    Feb 19, 2018
    46
    Must have been in a rush...the word is OKAY, not oaky, and the other daughter has NOT volunteered any time with him.
     
  13. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    227
    Cambs
    Actually I liked the oaky fall, well not the fall obviously but the oaky bit!;):)
     
  14. carolynp

    carolynp Registered User

    Mar 4, 2018
    247
    Western Australia
    I like oaky too. I feel quite oaky this morning. It’s five am and we’re awake. So it’s sort of a tired old tree feeling, somewhat creaky, but quite solid still. Love to all. C. xxx
     
  15. imsoblue

    imsoblue Registered User

    Feb 19, 2018
    46
    Oaky doaky, but tonight I feel PINEy. OH has left for 5 days while I leave tomorrow for 5 days in FLORIDA for work. And I'm pining over the loss. The house is quiet. I don't have THAT stress. I didn't even know I had THAT stress until it was gone. The stress where I'm listening with one ear for his whistle to come pick him up off the floor or hearing something shatter or spill. That One (his daughter) arrived only 15 minutes late, 7:15PM. But noooooo, he wasn't ready. All packed (yep,that's what paying a sitter can do for you), but he had clogged the toilet (loo?) and he wasn't leaving until it was clear. One and one half hours later he gave up and they left. I almost left before he did and my flight isn't until tomorrow. I was just going to get in my car and drive around until he left. I could not stand the obsessive flushing with nothing getting better!!?? I was also outdone with That One and will be for the rest of my life I suppose. She just sat and waited on him. She's the one who drove for 2 hours to get him and had to drive two more hours to get back to her house. Why did I care? Because I wanted more of this non-stress time!!! She never corrects him or corrals him and that slays me. I kept telling him she was here for him and she needed to get back, but he didn't care. It's like she doesn't want to acknowledge he's not oaky. I wonder if things will be different when she brings him back Saturday after spending a little more time with him. I'll be the one with all the patience, at least for a day.
    I will type this last "woe is me" and go to bed since I have a 6am flight. I will allow one sad thought to be put down here though...if it were, oh, 7 months ago, he would be coming with me. He'd play golf while I went to conference sessions. And if he wasn't coming, he could certainly stay home and enjoy his bachelor days until I returned. But it's April 16, 2018 and on this day, my OH can no longer stay alone. He has spent the day with a sitter who took him to physical therapy and a dentist appointment and packed his clothes for a week with his daughters. He was picked up and a wheelchair put in the car along with his suitcase. Now, I'm a weeping willow. Thanks for being here for me.
     
  16. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Well done on the improvements !!
    I sometimes give my husband a “wine” pretending it’s a sweet rose when it’s mostly lemonade plus a dash of red !! But no wine is best - we’ll done again :)
     
  17. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    I am thinking a three week time period - they are only sewing it up as we speak !! It’s like getting super special ! :D:D:D
     
  18. carolynp

    carolynp Registered User

    Mar 4, 2018
    247
    Western Australia
    Gosh yes so exciting!
     
  19. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    222
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    It’s so sad to look back over time - it’s a big change , but you might find he will improve a little- as my OH did. It seems: As we manage better - they seem better !

    But do make the best of the break - glad you can have one! You will probably feel better once you are on the plane and flying away !!!!! Wishing you All the very best!
     
  20. carolynp

    carolynp Registered User

    Mar 4, 2018
    247
    Western Australia
    Hello dear Piney One, of course you are feeling low, and after such a wind-up to OHs departure - finally! - it’s no wonder at all. Today I am wanting to be a big strong Redwood for you! I imagine you are now well on your way. I do hope the conference goes well, and that - even though it’s work - the change of scene, and not having anyone to look after, do you the world of good!

    Yes, the mixed feelings are horrible, and the sense of desolation when the PWD is absent, however much one has longed desperately for the break. And the longing for them to be back the way they were, and for you to be a loving couple again, instead of a partner trying to care for someone who’s busily regresssing towards babyhood - and pretty fast, at that!

    Good luck and I do so hope it goes well and that you return refreshed to the fray.
     

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