Worried about John

Lucille

Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
542
Trouble is, I know everything is made with fortisip instead of milk to keep the calories up, and I don't need the extra calories!:eek:
Hi Hazel
You manage a sense of humour through it all!
Love to you and John.
x
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
Dear Hazel,
Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts as you are facing this very difficult time. I do hope you and John have a good outcome to this present illness.

Glad to hear the Home are supporting you too. Take as much "looking after" as you can get - you both deserve it and need it. (Just as an aside, I prefer my extra calories as Belgian chocolate! ;))

Warmest wishes as ever,
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Dear Hazel,

I am sorry to read of John's latest infection. I hope that this will be cleared up really soon. Best wishes. Love Taffy.
 

okmurrays

Registered User
Oct 17, 2007
118
58
kelowna, bc, canada
Well NHS24 did ring back -- paracetamol and lots of fluids! They're going to ring the GP in the morning.

John was just the same this evening, deep chesty cough, very drowsy. The staff insisted on giving me a meal, said I had to look after myself. Trouble is, I know everything is made with fortisip instead of milk to keep the calories up, and I don't need the extra calories!:eek:

The good thing is that John's 'named nurse' was in charge today, and was so caring. I haven't had a lot to do with her up to now, I've tended to go to the 'man at the top', so it's good to have established a bond.

I'm feeling a lot calmer now, I'll try not to collapse again tomorrow!

Thanks for the hugs, much appreciated.
Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humour. I'm sure the extra calories will be burned up by the stress.
Keep smiling, and keep going, we're all behind you.
Sharon x
PS Molly sends hugs too.
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Dear Hazel,
You've been on my mind all day. How's John..and how are you?
I've manged to find a piece of coal and a twist of salt(in blue paper) from a crisp packet!
Will be (virtually) knocking on your door at midnight-but you probably won't let me in as I'm neither tall,dark nor male!!!:D
Hope things are ok with you-wishing you a peaceful New Year
Love Gigi xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Gigi

I'd let you in anytime!

But what's this about a pinch of salt? A bottle of whisky's the tradition up here!:D

Afraid I lost it again today! John was worse at lunch time, refused food for the first time, totally zonked. But what made me flip was, he had no shirt on under his pullover, and no socks on. He had slipped down so far he was almost on the floor. No sheepskin mat under his feet (that seems to have disappeared).

Collapse in floods of tears again! Told them if he was going to be neglected I'd be taking him home. No response!

Then the afternoon shift came on, and wow! did things start to move!

They said they'd take him down to his room and tidy him up. But John was too zonked to move. Brought in hoist -- too small. Brought in another hoist, got John all connected up, with great difficulty -- electrics wouldn't work! Borrowed a hoist from another section, transferred him to wheelchair -- one food rest missing, couldn't find the other! Wheeled him down the corridor with one carer holding his feet up in a towel.

After all this they decided that when they'd cleaned him up they'd put him to bed for a rest. I came home to take Skye out, and went straight back to sit with John. They were in and out all afternoon with drinks etc.

John had a good sleep, and woke up much brighter. He had a huge tea, and lots of drinks. And I enjoyed my afternoon just sitting quietly with him.

So in spite of my explosion, I'm feeling a lot more relaxed tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I hope my comments have been noted!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Love,
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Hello Skye - I am glad you have updated us on John. I despair at the thought we always seem to have to 'explode' to get folk off their backsides. Glad you did it though.

John had a good sleep, and woke up much brighter. He had a huge tea, and lots of drinks. And I enjoyed my afternoon just sitting quietly with him.
Pleased your afternoon was better - my best wishes for 2008. Cannot help but wonder what it will bring for all of us. Jan
 

cynron

Registered User
Sep 26, 2005
429
east sussex
neglect

Dear Hazel

So sorry that you found the care lacking today.

I also found similar examples of this sort in my husbands first two homes.I was always on the warpath but one cannot be there all the time.

I managed to move him to the third home and it was there that the care was of a high standard.

Hope they realise you are on the case.:(

Love Cynthia x x
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Thanks Jan and Cynthia.

It's the first complaint I've had, they said they were short staffed. But the afternoon carers said they were at home, and would have come in if anyone had phoned.

They just picked a bad day!

I think (hope!) they've got the message.
 

snooky

Registered User
May 12, 2007
104
devon
Hi Hazel,
Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and think you are an extremely caring and strong lady and your love for John always shines through in your posts. I hope that he is soon feeling much better and take care of yourself.
Best wishes
Snooky xx
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Hello Hazel,
Glad to hear you had a better afternoon!Things sound as though they are settling down-good for you for sorting out the staff!
Now my understanding is that I bring the coal and salt and you provide the whisky....:confused: See you at midnight :D:D
Lots of love and a peaceful and happy new year to you both Gigi xx
 

Taffy

Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
1,314
Dear Hazel,

I am sorry that you found John neglected I know how upsetting this would have been for you. Your under enough stress without having unnecessary stress. Where mum is the staffing levels are not the greatest at the best of times, ratio 1/15. Last Saturday when I visited a carer had phoned in sick, no replacement, one carer for 30 dementia residents. Whilst the carer was away attending in the other wing a altercation broke out between two residents and it was quite serious. The potential for what may have happened was very scary, and these poor residents were alone in the ward. I took mum home and returned her when the afternoon carers came on duty. I sent a email off to the CEO and requested a reply. I hope that John continues to improve. Take Care Taffy.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Well, whatever it was certainly hit the fan today!

I went in at 12, John was totally zonked again, slumped in his chair looking uncomfortable, and showing signs of pain. His chest was worse, and he was wheezing badly.

I had a word with the staff nurse and said I thought he should be in bed. 'We can't keep him in bed all day, he'll get sores'. I said I didn't want him in bed all day, but he wasn't comfortable, and was in pain. 'He can't be in pain, he's on paracetamol'! I hit the roof, backed up by one of the good carers. 'We'll put him to bed, Hazel!'

Explosion of staff nurse!

John refused all food, even soup, then the two carers brought a hoist. They were still struggling to get a totally comatose John connected to the hoist, when the charge nurse arrived for the afternoon shift. He was horrified when he saw the state of John. I said I'd like a word with him when he had a moment. He said 'Come in now'.

I told him I was disgusted with the lack of care John had had this week. I described the state I had found him in on Monday, and the fact that the staff nurses refused to put John to bed, even though he was so uncomfortable in the upright chairs.

I told him that John's problems are now purely nursing rather than EMI (he agreed), and if they couldn't give him that care I would be bringing him home.

He was very upset, and asked me to give him till the end of the week to sort things out. He would be having strong words with the staff. I made a point of naming the ones who had been helpful -- he had the staff rota in front of him so could draw his own conclusions about the rest!

I left them to clean up John and put him to bed while I came home to see to Skye.

Half an hour later, John was comfortable in bed, with a new air mattress.

On top of that, they had 'magically' found a chair of the design I had been looking at from another section. They tried John in it, and it fits perfectly. A bit scuffed, but that doesn't matter. He can use it as long as he needs it. £2000 saved!

I was called in again, the staff had been told, and John was to be moved every two hours.

And the carer who helped me at lunch time came back in in her 'civvies' to have a word too, so it wasn't just my word. That woman deserves a prezzie.

So, although John is still very ill, at least he's comfortable now, and hopefully will be properly cared for.

Still not a good situation, but I may be able to sleep tonight.

Love,

PS How many potys?
 

Libby

Registered User
May 20, 2006
625
62
North East
Hazel

How simply awful for you and John. And for those of us who have loved ones in care homes, it brings home, exactly how much trust we put in people who, really, we don’t know at all.

They should all be caring but sadly, it is not the case.

I’m so glad that you were able to speak to a charge nurse and let him know exactly what had been going on. And at least you know that there ARE people there who do care for John and want to make him as comfortable as possible.

It must be terribly hard for you to relax – your mind must be with him all the time.

Thinking of you both

Libs x
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Hazel, do so feel for you.

Know what you mean about John's needs now being more nursing than EMI. Unfortunately sometimes not classed as such, more 'social needs' as I was told.

Please do not do anything hasty (although I do understand why you feel that way) Hopefully now you have told the charge nurse positive action will be taken.

Good news on the chair. You need something to be on your side.
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Skye:
All I can say is WELL DONE YOU!!!!

How awful that you have to go through all this tension to deal with the obvious. But at least you have some caring staff on your side; Thank God for that.

I hope John is reasonably comfortable now. I do feel for you and hope you can relax a little now things are sorted. You must be on a 'knife edge' all the time.

Best wishes Jan
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
Dear Hazel,
No typos that time! you've been under so much stress-am so glad john is sorted and now comfortable.
It makes me so angry that these things that are so necessary are not automatically put in place. My experience of care homes is limited to years ago when I worked in one as a Dep Matron and others (when I needed the money) as agency staff.
Each resident should have an ongoing care plan which is updated on a regular basis as their circumstances change.
That's the ideal
I tried hard to change things in my time-only to realise I couldn't-owners were in it to make money and demanded their pound of flesh +++ from their staff-I was newly divorced and could not continue working as they wanted me to-sometimes 14 hours a day without a break.
I'd hoped things had changed.
If I do anything with my retirement it will be to try to make a difference. I'm not yet at the point where you are with John but I may well be one day. It must have been so awful for you leaving him and feeling that you could do nothing more to help.
No wonder you had typos!!
I marvel at your fortitude.
Hope you get a good night's rest. Lots of love Gigi xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
What makes me so mad is, it's not the carers, who are paid peanuts and who will do anything for their patients. It's the staff nurses who think their job is to sit in the office and give orders, with all the residents safely in the lounge where they can see them, no matter that they can barely sit up.

I think there will be changes. We'll see what happens next time the charge nurse is on holiday, though at least they know now I'm prepared to make a fuss!:eek:

But poor John if I hadn't been going in every day.
 

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