Hello there, I have mulled over writing on this forum for a while now. I help to care for a man of 54 years old who has Alzheimer's, I have done so for over two years and he has become a valued friend of myself and family. He was positive about being diagnosed, participating in arranging his financial affairs so his wife had more control over those. He maade changes to his garden to enable better management of the beds. He dislikes grass so he dug it up with a fellow carer and made more beds for veg and flowers. He helped plan the house so it was easier for all concerned to cope with what was to come.So I hope I am painting a picture of an intelligent, thoughtful, resourceful and caring person, He loved walking, theater cinema and [interacting with people from many areas and cultures. However, this is ,and has changed, he is more depressed over his future,is quickly losing his mobility.as well as his memory etc. He no longer wishes to go out or to visit his neighbors(one of which took a delight in taunting him by calling him mental and other annoyances when he though my friend was on his own,however, most of this has now stopped as he was overheard by myself and other carers and neighbors and a diary is being kept of any incidences, however minor they could appear to others..He now often does not recognize his family,his other carers,myself or his friends and neighbors. He is now doubly incontinent and often shouts with anger and frustration. He said to me a number of times that he seemed unable to cry and he often has such sadness in his eyes. However, there are times when he will brighten up, his jokes will arrive and hewill want to plant up some seeds or similar. He is a lovely person, each of his carers have grown to love him but we are now finding it difficult to cope with the changes. We all knew it was coming but that hasnt really helped seeing our friend changing ang hurting so much. We do our best because that is our job but wish we could do so much more. His wife works full time, is the cenre of her extended family and copes amazingly well, but has told me she misses the man my friend was but will always love him. This is a cruel disease, one still misunderstood by many which often leads to unthinking and uncaring statements or actions being made. I seemed to have woffled on a bit but I really hate this disease, what it is taking away from such a vibrant loving person, and I am still constantly amazed by the cruelness of some individuals. Well thats my rant, on the whole we all manage well but some times it good to say that you know what we really hate this disease and sometimes we feel powerless against it.
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