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WIFE has become a widow

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Thanks Scarlett - The Bolshoi were wonderful - needless to say I cried - but quietly so no offense caused. Went with friend and her husband so coming home to just the dog was a bit nerve-wracking as it hit home just how alone I really am these days.

But - dentist this morning and then food shopping for one and dog and just have to get on with it as best we can.

Hope everyone has a good week WIFE
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
Glad you enjoyed the ballet despite your tears. It must really painful to come back to an empty house, apart from your lovely dog. It's bad enough doing it now so my heart goes out to you. xx

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
Having a dog to come home to is a blessing though, isn't it.
Not quite the same, as you are used to your lovely husband being there too but I'd had nearly 4 years of Dave not being home so was more used to it and found being greeted by my dog was at least someone who was pleased to see me.
I can't imagine how hard it will be when she is no longer here.
Well I can but would prefer not to even think about it.

I'm glad you enjoyed the ballet. Swan Lake alway makes me cry anyway so I can imagine how it must have affected you. I hope you managed to sleep afterwards. x
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
I'm also a Swan Lake fan Wife, and Saffie.:) Even in the best of times I've cried buckets watching a performance.

I think without my two furry friends I would have hit rock bottom. At least I have to get out of the house as they are young dogs and need their walkies.

I hope your week is better Wife-and everyone else

Love

Lyn T XX
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I'm also a Swan Lake fan Wife, and Saffie.:) Even in the best of times I've cried buckets watching a performance.

I think without my two furry friends I would have hit rock bottom. At least I have to get out of the house as they are young dogs and need their walkies.

I hope your week is better Wife-and everyone else

Love

Lyn T XX

Billy seems to know he has an extra-important role in my life now, and wags his tail extra furiously. I don't think I'd have bothered to get up the past few weeks, if it wasn't for him. Going to watch Mrs Miniver now on BBC2, which will be my Swan Lake.

I know the script by heart, but will weep buckets.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
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WEST SUSSEX
I'm going to watch a recording of "The Artist" - just to pass some time as dog walked twice - daily quota of thank you letters written and posted - too early to eat supper though who knows or cares - another day nearly over and the only certainty is that if the telephone rings it will not be the Nursing Home!

Sleep tight - sweethearts.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,679
0
Ireland
It is a great blessing to have pets when you find yourself living alone, isn't it? Even though William is still living, I would be a natural hibernator I think. If I didn't have to get up fairly early to let the chickens out. And my remaining cat has become great company. She never was a "people" cat before, but now that she's the only one, she has discovered that she loves cuddles and fuss, and sitting on my lap watching a dvd.
 

WIFE

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May 23, 2014
856
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WEST SUSSEX
You have hit the nail on the head as usual LadyA - if I didn't have to walk the dog I probably would just stay in bed at least until the Spring arrives. Feeling hyper-sensitive and a bit down today, probably because I know I have to tackle my boy's bedroom - still haven't unpacked the suitcase of things brought back from the NH over two weeks ago and so much "junk" to consider. Determined to begin the sort out during the forecast bad weather if only to keep myself occupied. Have booked the live screenings of "Flying Dutchman" and "La Traviata" at our local theatre as "treats" for February and March - so have to get cracking - TODAY!

Up-date from Shelagh (Rathbone) and G - still having a "whale of a time" - pardon the pun, well and truly relaxed these days.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,679
0
Ireland
Good to hear Shelagh is enjoying herself. We'll have a lot to hear from her when she gets back! I too have been doing a tiny bit more clearing - I shredded a whole file this morning! Such a sense of satisfaction!
 

WIFE

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May 23, 2014
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WEST SUSSEX
Well its done - clothes sorted for Charity Shop, years of paperwork which should have been thrown out years ago, sorted and shredded, and room cleared and tidied into a spare room for the time being. Cannot truthfully say I did not have my moments and shed more than a few tears but wanted the horrible task over and done with.

Tomorrow the dog and I start our fortnightly visit to the Nursing Home as Pat Dog and owner at teatime hopefully bringing a smile to one or two familiar faces. I am actually quite looking forward to entering through the portals again - a sort of link with the past nine months.

Hope you are all having a peaceful day. WIFE
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
Well done, WIFE. That must have been a pretty heartbreaking job. I took a lot of Fred's suits and jackets out of his wardrobe the other day. Told myself I was being efficient and thought that others might as well have the benefit, but I can't bring myself to take them to the charity shop although I know he will never wear these again. It just doesn't seem right somehow.

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
That's wonderful progress, WIFE, and very satisfying. I've got through quite a lot too, but have a way to go yet. Well done you. :) Truth, the time obviously isn't right for you at the moment, but the day will come when it is. No rush. :)
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
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WEST SUSSEX
Oh, alright - suppose I have to confess - not quite all his clothes sorted for the Charity bag - kept back the last shirt he wore in the NH, a suit that I particularly liked to see him wearing, several favourite ties, a couple of sweaters I will wear myself on cold days, an anorak that has been hanging at the back door for years and will go on hanging there, several scarves and his flat cap. All reminders of happier days.

Scarlett - my life has suddenly gone quiet too - so I will walk the dog across to our local garden centre for a coffee this morning and then tea at the NH this afternoon. I expect someone else has passed on in the village and I am no longer front page news - so to speak.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
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WEST SUSSEX
Well done, WIFE. That must have been a pretty heartbreaking job. I took a lot of Fred's suits and jackets out of his wardrobe the other day. Told myself I was being efficient and thought that others might as well have the benefit, but I can't bring myself to take them to the charity shop although I know he will never wear these again. It just doesn't seem right somehow.

Sent from my GT-N5110

I do understand Verity - I couldn't sort anything out at all whilst my husband was in the Nursing Home. It is only now that I am on my own and want to move eventually that I am beginning the big 43 years worth of a clear out - gradually - and trying to come to terms with my situation. It was hard yesterday but I enjoyed happy memories as well as the sadder ones. You will find the right time for you one day. Loving thoughts WIFE
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
Hope you and your dog enjoyed your PAT visit. Am hoping to persuade a friend to bring her cocker spaniel next time she visits with me. He's got a lovely nature and is beautifully trained. Am sure some of the residents will love to see him.

My thoughts are still with you and wishing you peace.
Verityxx

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WIFE

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May 23, 2014
856
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WEST SUSSEX
It was harder than I thought it would be to make the drive down but once word passed round the NH that I was there especially with the dog - staff came from all over the building to see me - lots of hugs and kisses and then tea and birthday cake with some of the old faces in one of the lounges. Nothing has changed except for a new lady in my husband's room which gave me a moment's heart-stop. I will now feel much happier about making a regular visit as I was so warmly received - the RN just took hold of my hand in hers and would not let me go for several minutes asking "are you alright" over and over again. It felt lovely and warming.

Plodding through all the paperwork - as others have said - there is so much to deal with just at a time when one wants to hibernate.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
How brave of you to do this. I honestly don't think I could pass my husband's room without breaking down. Three years less 3 days of turning in there nearly every day and then not to be able to do so, and more importantly, the reason for this, would hit so hard.
I'd love to see the nurses and carers, even the admin staff, most of whom became like our extended family, again but shrink from doing so. In truth, I think they will be too busy to spare the time for me.
You have done so well and so soon. x
 
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