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WIFE has become a widow

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
Am so glad it went well apart from that heart stopping moment. Isn't it lovely that the staff still treat you as family and are so caring. That's the nice thing about Fred's CH too. You are being so brave tho I'm sure you don't feel it. xxxx

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
I find it so hard to believe my lovely boy died three weeks ago today and I am still wading through masses of paperwork and also trying to make a clearance in the loft. It is so very hard as memories come flooding back but have an urge to get as straight as possible before the warmer weather and gardening begins again.

Thinking of you all with loving thoughts WIFE
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I find it so hard to believe my lovely boy died three weeks ago today and I am still wading through masses of paperwork and also trying to make a clearance in the loft. It is so very hard as memories come flooding back but have an urge to get as straight as possible before the warmer weather and gardening begins again.

Thinking of you all with loving thoughts WIFE

It's nearly 6 weeks since John died, and I am still surrounded by paperwork, but now that I've sorted out the details at the Crematorium, and I'm on the home stretch for the Probate, I feel much more positive.

Memories should be cherished, so don't feel you have to be "straight" before the warmer weather. As long as you're straight-ish, that's brilliant. :)
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Thanks Scarlett - I'll go for straight-ish - much more reachable target. I suppose all this clearing is a way of trying to keep myself occupied and positive though sometimes I feel crushed and have to sit down and wallow for a while. Took the dog on the Downs this morning - very cold wind but lovely sunshine - avoided by two ladies whom I think I probably offended last week when I responded to their fatuous remark about being alone now with "got a dog - much more of a companion than a stupid human"

More excitement - second trip to the local tip this afternoon!
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
That's something I should be doing too. We have so much rubbish/paperwork in desk drawers, surplus china (keep writing chins which is also quite apt!) etc, I start and then get distracted by memories so it doesn't get finished. Need more self discipline. Take care of yourselves, my luvlies. xx

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Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I've found a way that works for me. I decide on a "collection", which might be clothes, or books, or tat, and settle on 10 things. Well sometimes I just settle on 6. Or 4. :eek: But I have a goal, and I try to get there.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Sorry to say I'm an all or nothing type gal - trouble is I throw out things I really rather wish I had kept!

Hope this week is peaceful for everyone.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Sorry to say I'm an all or nothing type gal - trouble is I throw out things I really rather wish I had kept!

Hope this week is peaceful for everyone.

Well that's where my method helps. If I'm faced with, say, 20 things, and I decide on keeping half and throwing half, I'm more disciplined. This morning I was faced with yet another bag of tat.

I spread it on the floor, and was tempted to save some odd bits of paper in John's writing, then decided that I had zillions of cards and things from him, so why keep a piece of paper with "gt rlpgs bq"
- though it took me a while to realise it meant "get rawlplugs at B & Q"!!

There were also some half used puffer sprays (he had COPD), some tubes of Bisodol, lids from something, a rolled up tube of superglue, cap missing, and various screws, nails and used rawlplugs. Binned the lot and felt productive. :)
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Sorry to say I'm an all or nothing type gal - trouble is I throw out things I really rather wish I had kept!

Hope this week is peaceful for everyone.

I'm being quite good with my clearing out:) I don't intend staying in this bungalow (only moved here to keep Pete at home) so I suppose I'm looking forward to the future a bit. When we moved from our last house it was a nightmare as we had so much STUFF. How did we manage to collect so much rubbish? And keep so many broken things?

I'm not doing that again. My biggest job is to clear the double length garage:eek: In the two years I've been here I've never been able to put the car in there. I WILL start to clear it soon:D

I hope you are OK WIFE-well as good as you can be.

Love as always

Lyn T
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
Garage?
Did you mention garage Lyn?
As if there's not enough to think about inside the house.
Are you really supposed to put a car inside a garage?!

You three are really getting on with things aren't you.
I'm a prevaricator I confess. The intentions are there when I wake up but they soon disappear.

Wife - about throwing things out, if in doubt, don't. There's always tomorrow.
See, prevaricating again. No wonder I don't move on.
You are doing so well Wife. I'm really impressed that you are taking your dog back to the home. They do already have a PAT dog in Dave's home and I'm not too sure that I could manage that so I am full of admiration. x
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,679
0
Ireland
I'm prevaricating / procrastinating too. Should be doing stuff. And am stood in the hall, on the phone, checking out what's going on in TP land!! And telling myself lies! "when this cold snap is over, I'll get on with it. " etc
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Garage?
Did you mention garage Lyn?
As if there's not enough to think about inside the house.
Are you really supposed to put a car inside a garage?!

You three are really getting on with things aren't you.
I'm a prevaricator I confess. The intentions are there when I wake up but they soon disappear.

Wife - about throwing things out, if in doubt, don't. There's always tomorrow.
See, prevaricating again. No wonder I don't move on.
You are doing so well Wife. I'm really impressed that you are taking your dog back to the home. They do already have a PAT dog in Dave's home and I'm not too sure that I could manage that so I am full of admiration. x

Ah, but that's what makes the world a wonderful place with a kaleidoscope of colours and people and personalities. I am going to brave the garage again today to see if the freezer door has opened once more - perhaps I have an Imp living in there, just trying to drive me mad!

It's all just a case of what suits one, may not suit another. Saffie, you say that you prevaricate, but if that's what you prefer to do - so what? Wife has done brilliantly, taking her dog to a place with so many memories. What a trouper! :)
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Hospice collection took place as planned this morning even though it was snowing quite heavily - sun shining now and snow almost gone. First thing this morning I believe the dog thought she was back on the Tibetan plain as we waded round our morning walk in snow boots. I am halfway through the loft and now facing a huge wooden chest of photographs and albums! Got rid of the paperwork stretching back to 1970 - my darling man was if nothing else, a first class suprimo at hoarding paper. What a fire hazard I have lived underneath for so many years. I too will have to move in the fullness of time from this bungalow into something a bit more compact so want to get cleared so that I can sit back and "think" about my next move without pressure.

I don't know why I do not have a problem with visiting the Nursing Home - it actually feels like going home - everyone was so welcoming again when I popped in for a cup of tea yesterday afternoon - minus dog and all said how much they miss the "boy" - he was such a character even towards the end.

Garage - don't mention the word - that is going to be my undoing - I won't know where to begin! As to getting a car into the garage - joke. There is so much wood (un- finished projects), tools (projects), screws, nails, bolts all in neat little tubs (unfinished projects) - what do I keep - what do I get rid of. I need a man to advise me!

Now got to check my tyre pressures - how I hate that job! Thinking of you all - WIFE
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Hospice collection took place as planned this morning even though it was snowing quite heavily - sun shining now and snow almost gone. First thing this morning I believe the dog thought she was back on the Tibetan plain as we waded round our morning walk in snow boots. I am halfway through the loft and now facing a huge wooden chest of photographs and albums! Got rid of the paperwork stretching back to 1970 - my darling man was if nothing else, a first class suprimo at hoarding paper. What a fire hazard I have lived underneath for so many years. I too will have to move in the fullness of time from this bungalow into something a bit more compact so want to get cleared so that I can sit back and "think" about my next move without pressure.

I don't know why I do not have a problem with visiting the Nursing Home - it actually feels like going home - everyone was so welcoming again when I popped in for a cup of tea yesterday afternoon - minus dog and all said how much they miss the "boy" - he was such a character even towards the end.

Garage - don't mention the word - that is going to be my undoing - I won't know where to begin! As to getting a car into the garage - joke. There is so much wood (un- finished projects), tools (projects), screws, nails, bolts all in neat little tubs (unfinished projects) - what do I keep - what do I get rid of. I need a man to advise me!

Now got to check my tyre pressures - how I hate that job! Thinking of you all - WIFE

Well there you go! Apart from knowing that "checking tyre pressures" obviously involves you standing with some implement by a tyre - I haven't a clue! Wife, you are awesome. :D
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
0
WEST SUSSEX
Managed to check the tyre pressures after a fashion - probably let more air out than actually put in but the car got me to the local tip with another load.

Home to find shower unit leaking like a sieve - seems anything to do with water has developed a leak here since the "boy left home" - his way of testing me no doubt. We have a village plumber but getting him to turn up is harder probably than climbing Mount Everest without oxygen.

Took the dog on the Downs to get away from it all and of course she found the biggest fox "doings" imaginable and yes, she rolled in it before I realised. Can't put her in the shower so had to hose her down with cold water outside the back door so I am definitely "in for it" this evening. Feel a very, very large G & T will soon be the order of the day.

Hope you have all had a peaceful and uneventful day WIFE
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
0
North Somerset
Poor you. It's a wonder your poor dog didn't end up with icicles all over, and as for plumbers, well, say no more ...... no wonder they are the ones making fortunes these days. Wish you every success.

I used to use a digital air pump that plugged into the cigar lighter when I first had to do the tyre pressures but now find it easier to use the petrol station ones (particularly Sains...) as you just set the pressure and they beep when its reached. Sorry, you probably know that already. The things we have had to learn to do, am afraid plumbing isn't one of them!

Sent from my GT-N5110
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,516
0
Near Southampton
I ask my SIL to do it whenever I'm going on a journey!
I 've not been far over the past couple of years, apart from LA when I did ask him, so the pressure isn't checked often I'm afraid.
I have a tyre tester/pump thing that I found in the garage. Obviously something Dave sent away for but never used.
I must find out how it works - one day!
 
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Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
Do you remember those far-off days when you'd drive into a garage, and an attendant would put the petrol in the car, check things like water or oil and call you sir or madam? I remember my excitement in the early 50s, when my Dad acquired a van, and the AA man, on his motorbike, saluted us. :)