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Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,157
Bedford
Hi it seems to me that you handled a difficult day well and that on the whole your Mum remained calm. Just a thought if your Mum can still use the phone to ring you what about putting a sticker on the phone with your name and number on it. My Mum would always say she could never find her phone book even when it was in front of her. The sticker did help her for a while until she forgot how to use the phone to make calls.
I know it seems that hubby’s results to be confirmed are not what either of you wanted but at least hubby is being pragmatic about it. I hope tomorrow you are you again
 

Shilo

New member
Jan 30, 2020
9
Me neither, I've sneaked off to the loo for a cry a few times the last few days, twice today, although I can only manage that for a few minutes as mum comes looking for me.
Mum has been calmer as the day has gone on which is good, though she is still confused but not been as frantic or scared this evening as she was earlier.
In fact shes nodding a bit at the mo. Not surprising after yesterdays late night and not a lot of sleep last night and her brain must be exhausted from all the confused questioning of last few days.
I'm torn between being pleased shes settled and quiet and at least not asking questions for a while, but also a bit annoyed that she nods to catch up on sleep but I had less sleep than her and I cant nod off.
Hubby has nodded off too so I'm stuck here with two sleeping beauties feeling quite jealous. Roll on bedtime, although I'm actually dreading that so maybe not. Just have to keep plodding on.
Hope you're enjoying your baileys, you certainly deserve it x x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,666
South East
Morning @annielou , agree with @Bikerbeth , you handled mum brilliantly . Although confused she sounded calmer about it, probably because you were calm . Sounds like hubby got on ok. Take it you have heard nothing from ss yet ? Think they will need a few gentle nudges . Hope today goes ok for you . Xx
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
Thanks @Bikerbeth @Woohoo xx
I was me again when I went over this morning and mum mentioned not long after I got there that she'd thought last night that she'd been at 'friend and friends hubbys' house yesterday but it was mine wasn't it. I agreed but tried to play it down a bit as didn't want her to dwell on it and get upset and I was glad to be me again.
She was telling me this morning she had been thinking last night in bed if she had another bedroom or not and couldn't remember, but then it came to her she hadn't, she said so that was silly of me wasn't it. I didn't say anything, just smiled and mum carried on talking and said that after that she was thinking about if she still had a bedroom at her mums house but then thought her mum might have died and then she realised she had died, but was wondering then if she had left some of her things there. She said she hadn't been able to work that out last night so did I know if she had left any of her things there? Its one of mums common mix ups if mum alive or just died and if she needs to empty house or let council know and often if she is living in her mums house. So I explained as gently and as simply as I could that the house had been emptied years ago and she hadn't left anything there. Which she remembered about it then and she talked a bit about when it happened.
She hasn't had too bad a day today, we had a bit of a quiet one and mum didn't moan about being bored and seemed happy enough just to watch tv and chat a bit, which was good for me as I felt shattered and don't think I could have kept up with much else.
Unfortunately this afternoon she did lose who I was again, though she didn't seem to bothered by it. She was talking about how she thought our Andrea was supposed to be coming today but she hadn't and so there I was back to being friend Andrea not daughter Andrea. And later when hubby came after work and we had dinner she looked over at one point and asked has 'friends hubby' gone? She thought 'friends hubby' had been there but had left and my hubby had replaced him. But she was ok about it when hubby said no he's not been, its been just me here today.
I noticed a few times this evening and I've noticed before, that sometimes I catch her looking at me thoughtfully, if I ask her whats shes thinking, if theres anything a matter, or does she want something? she'll say nothing love just smiling at you, but I think maybe she's trying to figure out who I am because its' usually when she has called me wrong name or I've recently called her mum and she'd been thinking I'm not me.
When we got in tonight and I rang her she was a bit mixed up again calling hubby by 'friends hubbys' name and asking where I lived and after I answered her she said she'd thought I was 'friend' again and was always getting us confused so I just made a joke out of it and said we'll have to wear name badges and she laughed and said knowing me I'd probably read it wrong.
I do think that the sertraline is keeping her calmer and taking the edge of her anxiety and helping reduce her aggression about things so I hope it continues and doesn't get worse again. Its still hard to keep up with what she's thinking and saying as she's still mixed up, forgetting things and worrying over things, but she isn't getting as upset as much as before the tablets so it makes things a bit easier to cope with for me.
I noticed a couple of new things to worry about lately, last week I noticed mum has on odd occasion described something like she couldn't remember proper word for it, and this week a couple of times when she has been reading something out she has said a word like its first time she has read it and she doesn't recognise it, so she doesn't know how to pronounce it or what it means, she sort of sounded them out pronouncing them wrongly. On one occasion, the word was renovator, she asked what it meant as if she'd never heard that word or any similar to it before, like she hadn't heard of renovate and so couldn't work out what renovator meant from that. Which is sad as its another things shes starting to have a bit of a problem with.
On the SS front, sis got an email today asking her to confirm her details so I think she is about to email mums new care plan. We've not heard anything has been sorted yet re carers, etc though.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,157
Bedford
Another calm-ish day so glad you got to relax in the morning at least. It is horrible when you notice another change. I know the first time Mum referred to my motorbike ‘as a car without a roof and only 2 wheels’ it hit me that Yes this is not going to get easier. Easier said than done but worrying does not help.
I hope that whatever is received from SW is positive and gives you some sort of break
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,666
South East
Hi @annielou , bit of a mixed day but def calmer as you say sertraline seems to be helping . Mum has been on it a few months . My mum hardly talks at all , she sits and reads but even that I have noticed the last week she isn’t really reading it so spends more time staring in to space then gets agitated . Tonight she tried to get out the front door, she said she was going to Woohoo’s house as she would know what to do . She also stares at me nearly all evening , I don’t know if she is seeing what I’m doing to follow suit or if she is trying to work out where she is, who I am . It’s heartbreaking isn’t it . I hope tom is ok for you all and that you get a good nights sleep . Fingers crossed you hear something soon re carers etc . Take care x
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,228
Glad it was a calm day @annielou. I hope the SS do email the care plan through very soon, so you can start to put it into place.
The decline in an ability is hard to watch. It has been very sad these last few months watch my mother in law lose the ability to read. She is a highly educated woman and an ex-academic. When I first used to visit conversations were like tutorials, any statement needed to be analysed and justified. I liked that as it's the sort of conversation I enjoy, but it could be jolly scary too. At Christmas she was sitting there looking at a piece of paper. I thought it was a poem she was contemplating. It was a list provided by my brother in law of who would be visiting each day, and it was obvious she couldn't really understand it.
Mum also forgets what things are, both their names and the actual thing. A couple of years ago in a restaurant she asked what mozzarella was. She's been eating Italian food for years, so I'm sure she'd come across it before. This week I was talking about a flower arrangement on another table and mentioned tulips. She didn't know what they were either. I brought the arrangement over so mum could see it close up (she has very limited eyesight). She was still none the wiser.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
So much about this is heartbreaking isn't it. My mum is like yours @ woohoo and always wants to find me when she's agitated or wanting to know what or how to do something etc too, which is hard when we're right there isn't it. And trying to go out to find you is an extra worry x
Thats such a shame your mum, and yours too @Sarasa, is struggling to read, this bl@@dy dementia stealing pleasure away again. (xx)
My mum loved to read but apart from magazines she hasn't read much for the last few months. She struggles to concentrate and remember what she's read so tends to only do the first few pages of a book before giving up and starting it again another time. She reads magazines still but is a lot slower and tends to flick through them a bit more rather than read proper and if she does read a full article then next time she sees magazine she will read it again as she's forgot she read it before. I have noticed her spelling getting worse for quite a long time but the sounding out and not recognising words when she reads them is a new thing I've noticed, although I don't know if she's been doing it for a while just not in front of me.
Forgetting and losing skills how to do things is so cruel to the person with dementia and hard to watch for the people that love them.
Is your mum still going to day centre @Woohoo ? Hows it going?
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,666
South East
It sure is , I hate this disease and feel so strongly that I want to do something positive but I don’t know what .
Mum can hardly write now , she filled out one xmas card and it was all wobbly and spidery , she had the loveliest writing, breaks my heart . Yes she is @annielou , starting a second day in a week or two , I’m surprised as when I mentioned it to dad he said she won’t like it so asked me to take her , never got round to it until now but she really seems to enjoy it , they were dancing in couples to 60’s songs when I collected her Mon , she had made a jewellery box , done some art which she had never done and lots of other things . Hope you can get mum there. I needed a break so I saw it as my only chance to get one so that made me overdo the enthusiasm for it , sold it as she is a helper and she loves to think she is helping someone . Try what you think will work to encourage her and just be ridiculously bubbly and happy when talking about it and taking her , even though you may not feel that way . I was worried about leaving mum but the staff are brilliant . Hope today going ok so far . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
It sure is , I hate this disease and feel so strongly that I want to do something positive but I don’t know what .
Mum can hardly write now , she filled out one xmas card and it was all wobbly and spidery , she had the loveliest writing, breaks my heart . Yes she is @annielou , starting a second day in a week or two , I’m surprised as when I mentioned it to dad he said she won’t like it so asked me to take her , never got round to it until now but she really seems to enjoy it , they were dancing in couples to 60’s songs when I collected her Mon , she had made a jewellery box , done some art which she had never done and lots of other things . Hope you can get mum there. I needed a break so I saw it as my only chance to get one so that made me overdo the enthusiasm for it , sold it as she is a helper and she loves to think she is helping someone . Try what you think will work to encourage her and just be ridiculously bubbly and happy when talking about it and taking her , even though you may not feel that way . I was worried about leaving mum but the staff are brilliant . Hope today going ok so far . X
I'm glad your mums enjoying it and joining in thats great to hear. :D
SW emailed sis mums new care plan for approval today and a day at day care is on it along with 3 x 30 min carer visits a day. SW said she will let us know when anything is arranged. Still not sure how mum will react to going to day centre as she knows what it is and so cant do the volunteer thing with her, though wish I could as it seems to have been a brilliant idea in your mums case, well done. Still I'll try to convince her its a good thing to try and just see how she goes.
Thats such a shame about your mums writing, another thing they lose.:( Mums writing isn't great now either, she used to do lovely joined up pretty writing on cards but now its mainly printed capitals with quite a few spelling mistakes. Last year I told her the names to write on each card and occassionaly had to remind her of spellings and then I usually wrote the envelopes because she said my writing is better than hers, which it never used to be as I'm not that tidy a writer and its not pretty like hers used to be. This christmas I had to write her a list with the names of each card with how to sign it at the side eg, To tom from mum, To dick from nannan or to harry from her name so she could copy it and then I would tick it off so she could see it had been done, otherwise she'd write another for same person and then I wrote all the envelopes.
This week she had to do a birthday card for her nephew and I didn't write it down as we were rushing and didn't have paper nearby so I just told her what to put, I said put 'To Fred from Auntie Ginger' (not real names) She asked how to spell nephews name (not fred but a simple name) then put that at the top of card and then at bottom of card started to write Auntie, asked how to spell it so I told her, then she wrote Auntie Ginger, but no from or anything so I said do you want to put from above where you put Auntie Ginger? She asked why, I said thats what people usually do, she asked do they? yes they put from Auntie Ginger, she said oh ok then, so she put from on the card, but unfortunately she had wrote Auntie and then wrote Ginger below that and when she added from she put it at the side of Ginger so it read Auntie from Ginger which looked a bit odd.:oops:
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,228
Hi @annielou, great you've finally got the draft care plan, grab it with open arms! Things have moved on since you last tried day care with your mum and she may well take to it now. Mum never went to one, going from living completely independently without help to a care home in one move, so no great tips on how to sell it.
Hopefully having carers will take some of the burden off you and allow you to spend a little more time at home at the start and end of the day. I still think your mum really needs to move to a care home, but I know social services try carers at home first. So all in all it is a positive first step.
As for decline in writing skills. My mother is nearly blind, so I always assumed the decline in her writing was due to not being able to see, but looking back I think dementia certainly played a part in it too.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,666
South East
Morning @annielou , yep everything you say about cards, been there ! Dad used to help mum by writing down on a piece of paper what she needed to write. Glad to hear you have draft care plan , let’s hope it’s not too long to implement . I would try again as if she has never been to day centre , she may well have forgotten but may have the feelings so I would just try and start a fresh happy and positive , maybe sister or hubby could go the first time . Whatever you think will be easier for you . Honestly I can’t tell you just how nice it is to have a few hours off to do banking, a mooch round the shop , anything you like just not having to worry . She only been twice but I so look forward to it . Hope you can get mum there and she likes it . Fingers crossed the weekend is good . X
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
Thanks @Sarasa @Woohoo xx Here's hoping it won't be too long but SW says likely to be a while but at least we're on the way to something. She did say day centre would probably not be too long to sort so will try keep a positive face and voice on when its time to try it.
Sis came down yesterday and is staying till Monday so I got an extra hour in bed today as sis is going to go over to mums to give her mid morning tablets and hubby and I will go over bout midday to take her supermarket. Hubby and I get a bit longer to whizz round and clean bathroom and dust and hoover downstairs before we have to go out today which is good. I hate the fact I cant do my cleaning in same way as I used to and am always rushing little bits here and there now, but such is life eh.
I'm hoping mum is calm today as Sis's son and his wife are coming over for an hour this afternoon so I hope mum is ok. They're bringing christmas presents as the day they were going to bring them just before Christmas mum was having a major meltdown about who I was and saying we were 'friends' trapping her in Andies house and I ended up asking them not to come.X I am a bit worried as I wasn't me again in the afternoon yesterday so things could get quite confusing this afternoon but hopefully today will go better X
Hope everyone has as good a day as possible x
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
711
I'm hoping mum is calm today as Sis's son and his wife are coming over for an hour this afternoon so I hope mum is ok.
Hi @annielou, I used to think the same thing when my sibling and her family came over, with the benefit of hindsight I wish they had seen Mum as she normally was, to really understand what was going on. I guess I felt embarrassed for Mum as she (pre-dementia) would have been mortified. Paradoxically, I also found it uncomfortable when they noticed that she had got worse (seemed like a criticism of what I was doing - although obviously it wasn't)! It's good that your sister does come and stay for short periods to try and help - has she noticed the deterioration in Mum? She is probably more likely to as she isn't seeing her every day.

Pleased to hear you may have some support coming your way. Do please persist even if you get resistance from Mum - remember it is to help you too, it isn't just about your Mum.

All the best - stay strong.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,157
Bedford
Pleased to hear the SW has a plan I just wish you had a definite timescale. Although initially Mum did not like carers coming in (as of course she did not need them!!) eventually and particularly with the evening carer she just sat and chatted to them over tea and sandwich. It was of course the company Mum liked. For the first few visits I was there when the Carers came as reassurance for Mum.
My Mum never went to day care either, although she grumbles when asked to join in the activities in the CH apparently she never leaves before they have finished so maybe your Mum will be the same at day care and @Woohoo i hope it continues to be a success for your Mum too so you get that ‘break’
I too have noticed Mum’s writing change through the last year from joined up, to capitals to very poor spelling. It frustrates Mum too as she will try and write down what she wants to remember but then can’t read it. We too have the same scenario with writing cards.
I hope today has gone well and glad your Sister is back helping out too
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
Thanks @Pete1 @Bikerbeth xx Sis and I have both said we will have to just keep trying things with mum and hope she accepts them, even if we think she might not we'll try first. We are both thinking she won't do day centre but have asked for it just in case and will try to jolly her in to it.
Think mum knew who I was yesterday, she seemed ok and didn't say anything that indicated otherwise so that was nice. She was fine when hubby and I went over for supermarket trip and left me to do shopping list saying I was a good girl,:) normally she flaps round saying have we got this, that and the other all the time so it was nice and calm yesterday.
Sis was going to do mums shopping and keep an eye on mum round supermarket instead of me this week so I was looking forward to having a bit more of a chance to look at things instead of keeping an eye on mum and doing her shopping. Sis said mum kept trying to put extra things in the trolley and had to keep saying to her lets just keep to the list and after the first few aisles hubby and I didn't see them as sis whizzed mum round like they were on an episode of supermarket sweep doing the trolley dash at the end. They were at the till when hubby and I still had about 4 aisles to go and we'd been rushing to try catch them up so I still didn't get much time to look at things. Sis said she thought if they went quick mum would have less time to buy extra random things although she had bought 3 things off list that she didn't need.
They picked the snotty annoying lady at the till who sis was annoyed at because she asked mum for club card and when mum passed it her, cos she forgets what you do, lady told her to put it on scanner and made a bit of a thing of mum having to do it herself and not her. We've had a couple of awkward times with her so hubby and I always avoid her but mum wouldn't have remembered and they were part way through till when we spotted them so too late to warn sis.
Nephew and his wife came in the afternoon and stayed around an hour, mum was ok, quite quiet, she didn't say much and a couple of the comments she made were wrong end of stick or a bit mixed up but nobody said anything and mum didn't notice so it went ok. It was nice to see them as I haven't seen them for months.
We watched a film after they'd gone and sis nodded off for a bit and then hubby did too and I noticed mum getting a bit anxious looking and fidgety but when I asked, she said she was ok. Then she said will somebody be able to take me home because they're all asleep who'll take me home? I said Its ok they'll wake up in a bit and take you home later. She said but its getting dark, she does tend to think she has to go home once starts getting dark now, so I said its still early though. Why don't you stay for tea and go home later so she said ok and then sis and hubby woke up. In the end she stayed till about 8 and then sis took her home.
When sis rang her to say she was back at our house mum said ok love then asked who she was, and said oh my 'sis's name' oh right and seemed to have forgot sis had taken her home and been here today, but after a few minutes was ok and they hung up with sis saying she'd see her in the morning.
Mum rang my house phone a bit later to tell me sis was coming on sunday and would i be going through too. She thought sis was only arriving down here on Sunday, she had wrote down sis coming sunday and had forgot that she had been today and then got upset cos she had forgot and wanted to know why this was happening to her, she wanted to know what we'd done today. I gave her a brief recap and she remembered bits, and seemed a bit calmer so we said night but then as we were saying our love you lots she was crying a bit. I said don't get upset mum whats a matter? and she said she didn't know who she'd been with and forgot us and dint like it, she told me we had to keep telling her who we were. I stayed on phone a bit longer and said a few things like not to worry it was just cos she was tired now and she'd known who we were all day and called us our names and it was fine we didn't mind and we would say who we were and I think she was a bit calmer again. She added time to her note about sis coming and swapped coming to coming over for me so hopefully she had better idea what it meant. She still sounded a bit upset and subdued when we said night again but she wasn't crying. So it wasn't a great end to the day but also not an unusual one.
Sis has gone through to do mums morning tablets today and is going to try stay with mum and not come back here with her till later. Last time she tried that mum kept saying are we going to our Andies, I want to go to our Andies, and sis could only put her off for so long and they came over mid afternoon. Today sis has a bit of an excuse to use for staying there as hubby is wanting to replace two leaky taps and a light pull switch in the bathroom today. Sis is going to tell mum that he'll be switching water and electric on and off while he's doing it and we'll be busy so they'll stay there and come through at dinnertime. So we'll see how that goes.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,157
Bedford
As you said yesterday was a good day until the end and good that your Mum remained calm. I hope today was also good and that you and hubby had most of the day to yourselves.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,042
Yorkshire
Thanks @Bikerbeth @Woohoo xx Its not been best few days, Poor mum was quite confused and upset Sunday and Monday and also this afternoon. She was upset On Sunday and Monday that sis was going home on Monday lunchtime. Sis said she wasn't too bad during morning and early afternoon on Sunday but in the afternoon she was obviously sundowning and had forgot who sis was.
Sis and mum came over to our house about half four and mum looked quite sad and confused and a bit scared. She kept asking who was going to look after her, as she had been poorly and sis had been looking after her and she couldn't manage on her own. She said quite a few times that she didn't know that sis was related to her, she said she knew who I was but not sis. That's a bit of a change as I'm usually one she doesn't know.
She kept asking what she would do when sis went home so sis and said that I would still be here and looking after her and mum asked if I would know what to do? seems she had forgot that I have been looking after. She kept asking how I would get there to look after her as I didn't have a car like sis and she couldn't come to mine on her own.
She was okay to stay for dinner and a while after though she did keep asking the same questions. Sis took her home about 8 and she said she was ok when she was there and she asked sis to write down that she was picking her up tomorrow and bringing her to mine so she knew what was happening.
About 9 mum rang me and was confused again about who had left her note about monday and again told us to keep saying who we were and that she was losing it cos she didn't know who people were and that had seen sis but she wasnt as upset as Saturday night.
On Monday when sis brought mum to mine she was the same again, quiet, subdued and sounding a bit scared about who was going to look after her when sis went home and how I would be able to look after her.
She said she couldn't do anything anymore, couldn't cook, didn't know how to use washer or when to do things bless her, she was really sad so i tried to make her feel better and say she could do these with help and we didn't mind helping and tried to talk about things she could do with help as if she could do them on her own.
When sis was getting ready to leave about 12 she realised she hadn't given mum her mid morning tablets when she went over to give her tablets and pick her up as mum was waiting with coat on to come to mine.:eek: The vitamin d and folic acid probably didn't matter but the sertraline was more of a shame if she missed it as thats the one for her anxiety and agitation so sis went back to mums to get it before she left.
Once sis left mum still asked on and off for a while who would look after her and how would I manage without car but she was ok about being at mine with me. In the afternoon she seemed to forget about sis and instead she kept asking about where she lived and how she got there and acting like she had just moved there and didn't like it because it was too far to walk to mine when she always had walked here before, which is wrong but she has a tendency to think this now.
She recognised house when she got home and seemed ok when we left but when I got in I rang her but she didn't answer as was at loo. I rang back few minutes later and she said I was just going to ring you. Turned out she thought I was 'friend' and she had been at mine, she had totally forgot about sis being here earlier. She said she was sorry she couldn't understand why mixing me up all the time so I tried to play it down and say it was just cos she was tired and had been ok in day.
The weirdest thing she said was when she was checking who I was she read out mine and hubbys name and phone number from her address book and said is that you? and I said yes, but then she said but I thought that was friends name and number. So now it seems that besides seeing and hearing me she often doesn't recognise me and thinks its 'friend' even when looks at photos of me says thats our andie not you, also now she can read my name out and think it means 'friends' name !!!!!:confused:
She wasn't too bad today until about 4. We'd popped to aldi early afternoon and got something for dinner and about 4 she kept asking what we were having. On about the 8th time in 10 minutes of asking she noticed I called her mum while telling her what we were having and she said Are you my daughter? Are you our Andrea? and so she was quite confused about who I was again. She kept asking on and off in between watching tv ,when hubby came and when we had dinner until we left at half 7. She kept looking at us as if she was trying to think who we were but luckily even though she was confused she seemed quite calm but still a bit sad.
We called for hubbys bp medication on way home so we were a little longer than normal and when we got in I saw mum had called our home phone a few times so I rang her back. She said she'd been trying to ring me because she wanted to tell me she hadn't been well and didn't know if I knew about it. She had forgot I had been today, said she thought someone had been but didn't know who. She said I keep being confused and don't know who people are or what I'm doing. She was pleased I knew about her and had been going but sorry didn't know it was me.She asked if I would go again and seemed ok about me going tomorrow and after a bit we said night etc. She sounded quiet and confused again.
Its so upsetting that she is confused and worried about it and scared about who is going to look after her as she thinks she can't look after herself. :(
SW emailed sis today and said the care agencys they use aren't able to do mums carer visits so its gone out to brokerage now which she'd thought it would. She also said she has organised day centre visit for next week on wednesday and transport will be picking her up at 8.30.
I've not told mum yet, I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. Mum will struggle to be ready for 8.30, she's not been getting up till nearly that time lately and she will get herself in a tiz and probably not sleep night before then be at loo all morning because she does that when has to go somewhere and then she says she can't go.If she does go then she will panic about locking doors. It takes ages to get her out of house most times with lots of checking and asking if locked doors and she hasn't left it on her own for months.
I'm wondering if I should get hubby to drop me off at mums on his way to work about half 7 that morning so I can get her up and be there while she gets ready and when she leaves so I can lock up and she won't have to worry about it. I had thought about going through for time due home so didn't have to come in to empty house on own. Don't know if this is good idea or not but really worried how will manage on her own and so is sis.
I also don't know what we're supposed to do with mums tablets and paying for transport. When we went for quick visit before manager said they would give us a bill for cost of day care and meal (SS pay most but not all) but I don't think she said what we did about paying transport. She also said they can give mum her tablets as long as still in box with label saying when to give, but I had thought if mum did go that first time or so she went I would take her and I could drop tablets off and tell them what to give her when, her tablet boxes just say how many to take a day but not the time of day as we worked that out for when suited mum best, but now I will have to give mum them to take and bring back herself.:eek:
Feeling rather stressed and panicky about it, apologies for long ramble again x
 
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