• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.



Registered User
May 14, 2006
I'm really feeling as if I'm all caught up in a whirlwind.
Mum died suddenly six weeks ago from a heart attack and it is hard coming to terms with living without her.
We've also just had new gas central heating put in and needed to redecorate and retile, so the house has been upside down for nearly two months.
One of our horses went lame and is needing lots of attention in his stable.
This evening, my daughter and her boyfriend turned up at our house unexpectedly to annouce their engagement, which we're naturally delighted about.
There just seem to be so many changes and upheavals in a short space of time and I'm also starting a new job in a couple of months. I feel like I'm being swept along and things are getting out of control.
It is a chance to make new beginnings, but I'm finding it hard to adjust to all the changes.


Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
Hiya Kayla

First of all congratulations on your daughters engagement, how lovely for you...........there is nothing nicer than helping to plan a wedding!:)

I too have felt as though i've been in a wind tunnel this past year............soooo many changes to cope with, but to be honest honey, my way of coping is to keep busy............and oh boy have i been busy!!!!!!

I try to look on the changes as a challenge, and the busier i am, the less time i have to think (it doesn't pay to think too much!:rolleyes: )

Your doing great Kayla, even though you might not think so at times. ;)

I'm sure you won't need it, but I wish you the very best of luck with your new job.

Love Alex x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Kayla, Congratulations on your daughter`s engagement.

I know you`re still shell shocked after your mother`s death and haven`t had time to even start the grieving process, but sometimes things happen for a reason, and if that reason is to keep you occupied, so be it.

It`s strange how things happen. A friend lost her husband one year last February, and she had so much upheaval since, it has taken till now for things to settle. But somehow, she coped and got through the worst months.

Perhaps you are being swept along, but when these thing happen the have to be attended to. You may not be in control of the events, but you sound very much in control in the way you are coping.

You do have a chance for new beginnings, maybe you are not yet ready for them, perhaps the changes are coming too quickly, but you will get by, because you have to.

Love xx

plastic scouser

Registered User
Sep 22, 2006
Hale Village, Liverpool
Congrats on the wedding...

Don't worry about the whirlwind side of things - perhaps the wedding and (hopefully for you) a role in the planning will give you something solid to hold onto...

It's not easy I know, but hang in there - things are going to get better!


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Kayla, congratulations.

These are some of the things I encountered after my lovely husband died some 13 years ago.

In no time I was caught up in the planning of the wedding of youngest son, and awaiting the birth od another granchild. (For that son and wife this was truely a 'comfort baby')

So just 40 weeks after Len's death, having been totally involved in the wedding plane, (Bride- to -be was in Hong Kong for most of the time due to work)
wedding day arrived, So did new granchild. Wonderful day, so many mixed memories.

Two and half months later Lionel popped into my life. Yes, total whirlwind, but just 'go with the flow'.

I came out the other side stronger than I would ever have imagined. Take care,


Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
Kayla, chin up!

It looks as though someone or something is trying to demonstrate to you that "Life goes on"

I'm sure you'll find that this whirlwind will pick you up out of the sad place where you have been for so long, and give you new - but more 'normal' - challenges to conquer. You can do it. You've been through the worst there is.

Best wishes


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
You've done the hardest yards already . . .

. . . the rest is easy in comparison! Congratulations on your daughter's engagement! I know you will cope with everything - now we just have to convince YOU that you will! :) Sending you my very best "coping" wishes!!


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I feel like I'm being swept along and things are getting out of control.
It is a chance to make new beginnings, but I'm finding it hard to adjust to all the changes.
I found that in first year when my father died , adjusting to it all , where they an ending they all ways a beginning people keep telling me , change to me was scary it may me feel safe to hold on to my past , my pain , my grief , that was me 5 years ago . new beginning am still looking for that :rolleyes: change I just got use to it , like very thing in life I just get use to it and over years learn to let go of my grief pain , but never the missing

Congratulations about your daughter's engagement :)