1. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Keep letter simple and end with all works must be carried out to comply with some fictitious 2015 code of standards.

    As for your other concerns, don't worry yet, see how the stay goes first, everything else will follow in time, because your biggest hurdle will be getting him to stay with you.
     
  2. Kingfisher1

    Kingfisher1 Registered User

    May 7, 2015
    54
    Kent
    Oh this just gets worse. I finally got hold of a social worker (seems the old one left and nobody bothered to inform me) and basically she said I can't force Harry to come and live with me if he doesn't want to - his wishes are paramount and must be taken into consideration before any move can be made. Therefore they are organising for a social worker to go out to his house and find out what is going on with him and I think they are going to do a mental capacity test. She said she would contact the debt agency and let them know what was happening and then they would contact me.

    The lady I spoke to before her was very abrupt and basically said that as his POA it was down to me to pay his bill even if goes against his wishes, although that doesn't seem to apply when it comes to where he would be better off seemingly.

    At my wits end, worried sick that the debt agency will start coming after me next. I really don't know what to do for the best. Can't eat, can't sleep.

    PS: I didn't mention the fictitious letter - don't think that would have gone down too well.
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    Oh dear, so the council supplied the carers, the council sent in the debt collectors and the council appointed him a social worker, who is now going to talk to the debt collectors for you!!! Is social worker also going to convince brother in law that this debt has to be paid? Because that's the stumbling block. As his PoA, I think you will have to arrange payments. If carers are still visiting and he is not paying, then there will be more to deal with. Then again maybe the social worker has a magic wand and will make all this disappear for you. Can understand why you feel in such a spin and worried the debt agency will chase you, highly unlikely and if they do, you will have to act and do whatever is necessary as brother in law's PoA. A p.s to this, debt agencies are not bad people in my experience, yes I have experience of dealing with a bailiff.

    Social worker can't stop him spending a bit of holiday time with you, you are right not to mention the 'letter'.

    Think with all of this going on you are now a full time carer for someone with some form of Dementia where confusion and worry rules.
     
  4. Kingfisher1

    Kingfisher1 Registered User

    May 7, 2015
    54
    Kent
    Well technically social services were called in by the hospital when he was admitted after a fall last year, because they didn't think he was able to manage at home on his own anymore. But apart from one brief visit back in May I haven't seen hide nor hair of them, and as I said, his case worker had left and nobody had bothered to let me know, hence why the reason the number I kept ringing wasn't answering....
     
  5. Cherryade

    Cherryade Registered User

    Jul 27, 2015
    54
    From what you say it does not sound to me that he has dementia - just a feisty old curmudgeon! He certainly is on the ball vis a vis the 'firm' you concocted and I quite understand where he is coming from, (although wrong), about the care payments. Not that any of that helps you just now. I would certainly try and persuade him to come live with you 'until the carers are sorted out'. The fact he could live with you 'for free' for a (long) time might sway his mind.
     

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