• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

What's the point? It's just cruel

nicoise

Registered User
Jun 29, 2010
1,806
Thinning the secretions will make breathing feel easier for your dad. I know it sounds counterproductive, but at least then it will be less distressing for him - the feeling of breathlessness is truly horrible. But ask the doctor about those concerns of yours to ensure your dad is getting the right treatment.
 

tigerlady

Registered User
Nov 29, 2015
427
I've just read this thread and I am filled with sadness and also anger that people that have no hope of recovery are forced to suffer in this way. I think this whole thread should be copied and sent to every politician to make the case for allowing people to die with dignity. I hope and pray my husband does not have to go through the final stages of his life in such distress - he is fit and healthy now part from his dementia, but I worry about the future :(

My heart goes out to all of you who have relatives in the awful final stages of this horrible disease
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,606
Ireland
Red, my husband died of aspiration pneumonia. He actually died very peacefully. He was being cared for in the nursing home, and they had all the medications on hand in case they were needed, but they didn't need them in the end. They suctioned his throat regularly, which eased him as he no longer had the strength to cough, and gave him mouth care - just to keep it moist.
 

Evie5831

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
108
EnglishMark, it's a sad world in which we live when we watch our Fathers suffer and nothing we can do can fix it. My Dad is 73 years young, he retired at 65 like most men but has missed out on the golden years. Stuck in a bed in a nappy. No dignity, i wish him peace, yet to reach peace they have to suffer more and more and we are their witnesses. I read that death is as natural as birth. I wish it felt like that. Sorry for morbid rant. Everyone on TP has come together because of a cruel illness and I am so grateful for the support we give each other. Extended family and friends don't understand they sympathise and hear your pain, but they don't feel it. Not that I wish you guys to feel it obviously. Sorry. Just feeling really down this morning. Roller-coaster for us children too I guess, the worst ride ever that I just want to get off
How are you this evening Red? You are having an awful time with all you are dealing with, Dad, Mum, Children, husband, just too much to cope with! Sending hugs and strength to help you through tonight x
 

sheila55

Registered User
Feb 6, 2014
52
Hi Red. How are you today? I feel your pain. We are in a similar situation with my Mum. She has been in an EMI nursing home for 2 and a half years. Has lost around seven stone in the last eighteen months. Cannot feed herself or even drink from a cup unaided. Is incontinent. Almost blind. Totally immobile, needing hoisted for everything. Doesn't know that I am her daughter. And has almost no speech now. I pray regularly that she will sleep away one night. What a cruel world we live in. Take care. Sending hugs to you.
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Hi all thank you for your posts. Dad has been eating bits but does look thinner today. Just given him a yoghurt. Very scary as he is choking as he is eating really struggling to swallow. He has been prescribed carbocisteine to thin the secretions that he keeps coughing up but it hasn't come in yet. Although if the secretions are thinner surely you could aspirate them far easier?? Can't win. Thank you all for your support as I am not the only one going through a tough time. Tonight poor Dad looked like he was going to cry a couple of times, tears welled in eyes. Watching him, watching my mum it's just heart breaking.
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
It is overwhelming, really, coping with this stage. My dad has stabilised again, every infection takes another piece of him away. I was looking at pics of him outside in the sun on his birthday, beginning of June...he is unrecognisable in a matter of weeks, so much frailer. I guess we're all trying to stay strong, while feeling totally powerless. Thinking of you all. Xxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Glad to hear your dad has stabilised again Gwendy. It's so tough witnessing all these ups and downs. X
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
Hi Red. How are you today? I feel your pain. We are in a similar situation with my Mum. She has been in an EMI nursing home for 2 and a half years. Has lost around seven stone in the last eighteen months. Cannot feed herself or even drink from a cup unaided. Is incontinent. Almost blind. Totally immobile, needing hoisted for everything. Doesn't know that I am her daughter. And has almost no speech now. I pray regularly that she will sleep away one night. What a cruel world we live in. Take care. Sending hugs to you.
Very sad Sheila I am sorry to hear about your Mum, I too wish Dad would sleep peacefully. They have had a tough time that's for sure. X
 

Red66

Registered User
Feb 29, 2016
363
I hope your father finds peace soon, and you find the strength to continue through this difficult time.
My mother is currently in hospital following UTI and sepsis, not sure how it will end.

It is humane to put a loved pet out of their suffering, why is it humane to allow an elderly frail woman to
slowly die whilst having pointless treatment to prolong a life that she is now only enduring?
Hi peartrees, how are things with your mum. Hope you are bearing up x