What Would You Do

[fireflyring]

I am in a dilema, out of six sister's only three of us have been looking after mum for the last nearly 3 years mum was diagnosed with AD about 4 months ago she is slowly getting worse she has been on Aricept nearly two months.The problem is this one of my sister's has just come home from travelling around the world for the past 5 month's and is saying I need to take a step back from caring for mum and let the professional's take over, but they have told us they can do no more. I have a bad back which is not getting any better and also have to look after my daughter who has rhumatoid arthrtis and has lost all mobility. How do I step back if they are not prepared to step in, said sister is off to Lanzarote for at least 3 months your thought's on this is appreciated.

 

[Izzy]

Sorry I don't seem to be able to give you any practical help. Just want to say take care and I hope things sort themselves out for you. Izzy x

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello:

I can only throw in a few thoughts! Is your sister concerned for you having back problems plus a commitment to your daughter?

Is it possible to have a family conference? Maybe in advance getting some practical suggestions from the CPN/Social Worker (are they involved at all?).

I wonder if your Mother is self sufficient - does she need carers to help with personal care? All these things should be cleared at an assessment of your Mother and maybe an assessment for you, if you are classed as the main carer.

Maybe others will give you other ideas.
Best wishes

 

[Vonny]

Hi, I can only echo Jan's suggestions. A lot depends on how mobile, independant and alert your mum is.

If she is needing care, then Social Services and the CPNs should be providing some input, especially given your own circumstances. Sadly, if you demonstrate you are coping then SS will assume there is no need to help.

I'd ask for an assessment of your mum with a view to a care package, regardless if your mum is self-funding or not. It would be interesting to invite all your sisters to the meeting to see what they have to say. Maybe if SS see you aren't supported by all your family they may be able to arrange something to help out.

Best wishes xx

 

[fireflyring]

Thanks all for your input, mum has a care package in place cos she is diabetic they come in every day twice or three times a day when one of three sister's not there to do lunch etc:we had a meeting with 4 out of 6 sister's present and they decided that mum didnt need any more care.Since then we have asked for someone to come in and help mum with washing and dressing, as she will not let us help her. Mum is not self supporting, Anything we suggest to mum she shouts at us says nasty things I know she is frightend but do we carry on as before or step back.