What happens when the main carer is ill............?

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,968
Kent
Hi Deborah, me again. :eek:

If I`m in the same pain, I won`t be able to manage the luggage, and Dhiren hasn`t the co-ordination to handle a wheelie suitcase.

The purpose of the trip is for Dhiren to take me to see all the people and places he misses so much. It won`t be much fun if I`m using 2 sticks, as I am now.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Sylvia

Hope all goes well with your tests today. At least the doc is now trying to find out the cause of the problem.

I think you're wise to call off the trip. The logistics whan you are in so much pain just don't bear thinking about. It would have been nice for you to see your old friends, but realistically it is unlikely to help with Dhiren's sundowning. Perhaps another trip when you are feeling better?

Let us know how you get on,

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,968
Kent
Thanks Hazel.

Dhiren sees the consultant at 3pm, and the GP said if I go to Xray late afternoon, I might get it done without an appointment, so will try.
 

janetruth

Registered User
Mar 20, 2007
563
nuneaton
Hi Sylvia

Hope things go well for you and your husband this afternoon.
Surely things can't get much worse :)

Thinking of you.X
Janetruth x
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,968
Kent
Hi Hazel.

I had my Xray and have to contact my GP after 10 days, for the results. I must admit to dismay at having to wait 10 days, but there you go.

Dhiren has not deteriorated since the last visit to the consultant, or the visit before. He showed no signs of depression either.
But because of the log/diary I sent, charting his behaviour during the last month, the consultant accepts he gets periods of acute depression and has increased the dose of Trazodone from 150mg. to 200mg. to see if it helps. This will begin with the next prescription.

All his challenging behaviours are, as I have always felt, affected by his depression, and I wonder if this is the same for others.

The consultant confirmed Dhiren has Vascular Dementia as a result of his diabetes, and probably has Alzheimers too, indicated on the scan by the brain shrinkage.

He also confirmed Dhiren understands the purpose of a POA and will send a letter to the solicitor.

He intended to charge £120 for this letter, as
`reccommended by the BMA` but is prepared to waive this charge because I objected. The reason I objected was because the solicitor advised me to, as Dhiren sees this consultant as a NHS patient and so should not be expected to pay.

Thank you for asking.

Love xx
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Sylvia. Strange that you have to wait ten days. It's probably the blood test, I know haematology can take ages. It's worth ringing in the middle of next week, though, they'll probably be back. I think they routinely say ten days to cover themselves.

Glad Dhiren hasn't deteriorated. I hope the increased dose of his medication works.

Well done for getting the £120 waived. It makes me mad that we have to pay for insurance certificates etc. Doctors are earning huge sums for much shorter hours these days. Now they're talking about charging £20 for an evening appointment.

Hope your new pain killers are working.

Love,
 

Natashalou

Registered User
Mar 22, 2007
426
london
Things may have changed, but certainly until recently, doctors were allowed to charge from a recommended scale of fees, but in fact Consultants arent supposed to.
I know this from my work is social housing where many families tried to get priority housing on medical grounds .
Hope you are in a bit less pain Sylvia xx
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,849
52
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Sylvia,

I'm glad that the Consultant gave the OK for Dhiren to do the EPA and well done for getting the charge waived. I hope that having the EPA in place will give you some peace of mind should things deteriorate.

I think you're right to postpone the trip. The damp here in the Northwest wouldn't help your hip (although it's been quite nice this week - no rain since Sunday - is this a record?).

Best wishes,

Sue
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,446
Yes well done for getting charge waived Sylvia. Actually I have to say, I think the consultant is full of it. The BMA guidance on fees specifically addresses this issue and says "Doctors undertaking an examination to determine whether a patient is
capable of making an enduring power of attorney, or witnessing an enduring
power of attorney, or swearing an affidavit, should determine their own
professional fee." http://www.bma.org.uk/ap.nsf/AttachmentsByTitle/PDFmafees/$FILE/fees6.pdf

Jennifer
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,968
Kent
Just a short update.

I haven`t had the blood test yet, it has to be `fasting`, so I`ll go on Monday morning. I`m afraid there`s no change in the pain.

I can`t go tomorrow as I have another appointment first thing. This is a visit from Warm Front, to see if they can help reduce our Gas Direct Debit, which is currently £85 per month, for a 2 bedroom bungalow. The first I heard of them was on this website, one more reason to be grateful to TP.

The Senior Consultant persuaded Dhiren`s Consultant to waive the fee for the letter. He doesn`t believe in charging NHS patients. Very honourable. :)

Thanks to all of you.
 

chip

Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
400
Scotland
I've had my blood tests well 7 attempts and 2 days to get it, I get the results next week. Not good news about my husband the meeting today they want him in nursing care i told them i can't afford the Social Services care and i will also refuse to pay anything as they haven't helped at all and i have had to do all the work for them and check up and correct them. Now i can't get the ILF as well as they want at least 6 months of care in the home. The hospital said he has got worse quickly and even in the time there. I still only have the same care as i started with (10hrs a week) and now with my health problems. I just cant believe what is happening as i have been fightening for so long to get what we should have been getting and now look what's happened. Why do they get away with it?
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Dhiren has not deteriorated since the last visit to the consultant,
Pleased to read that Dhiren has not deteriorated

All his challenging behaviors are, as I have always felt, affected by his depression, and I wonder if this is the same for others.
I"m not sure about depression as I thought that would just make you feel down I could be wrong .

But for me I always find that my mother get very challenging behaviors
when her diabetic sugar levels are to high around 18 / 22 , then when they are to low around 2 , she gets very sleepy looks like she drank , very unbalance on her feet .

Its been 11/ 18 lately , because she won't stop eating the wrong foods behind my back, she a terror :)

Sorry to read about the break you both was going to take and now can't go back sounds like the best idea , because of you hip .
 
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Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Chip,

I'm so sorry. Nothing seems to be going right at the moment, does it? It doesn't seem any time since your husband was able to go to his lovely respite place in Fife. I do hope you manage to get some sort of solution for you both.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,968
Kent
A Difficult Day...........

.................today. I was in bed from 11 a.m. till 4 p.m., sleeping the sleep of the exhausted............couldn`t have got up if a bomb had hit the house.

Poor Dhiren didn`t know what to do with himself, was wandering in and out of the bedroom, peeping round the door, trying not to wake me, but waking me anyway....................asking if I wanted a drink, asking what time I would be getting up....advising me to see the doctor....forgetting what was wrong, asking if I had flu, or was it a headache.

When I got up eventually, he offered to make some food, but didn`t know what to make, so I went to help him and ended up making it myself.

Then his depression , funny head, feeling dizzy, asking if I had his driving licence, wanting me to get it for him, forgetting what an ordeal it was for me to move, asking to see his bank statement, needing to know how much money he had.

I am now determined to set something in motion on Monday, when I see the GP to discuss my Xray.

Sorry for such a depressing post, you all have troubles of your own. I am finding it helpful, for myself, to chart our progress or decline, for reference.

Please don`t feel obliged to respond.
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Grannie G said:
Poor Dhiren didn`t know what to do with himself, was wandering in and out of the bedroom, peeping round the door, trying not to wake me, but waking me anyway....................asking if I wanted a drink, asking what time I would be getting up....advising me to see the doctor....forgetting what was wrong, asking if I had flu, or was it a headache.
That's so familiar, Sylvia. That's exactly how John is if I go to bed.

I think it's partly worry that you're ill, partly fear about how he's going to cope. Even when I have a carer in, she can't keep him downstairs. The on'y way I can get a rest is if I ask the carer to take him out for a couple of hours.

I am now determined to set something in motion on Monday, when I see the GP to discuss my Xray.
We'll hold you to that! You really do need some help, you have to think about your own health. And we need you on TP.:)

Hope you're feeling a bit better.

Love and hugs,
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
Best wishes, Sylvia

Hello Sylvia, I've had a duvet day myself to day. Couldn't even drag myself up for a walk. The weather hasn't helped, except to excuse any lack of gardening. So sorry your sleep was disturbed.
Thinking of you both and hoping that Sunday is better for you. Love Deborah x
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Sorry for such a depressing post, you all have troubles of your own. I am finding it helpful,
Not depressing at all , even if it feel like that to you , because I am glad you shared , because as I read this :-


when you say
Poor Dhiren didn`t know what to do with himself, was wandering in and out of the bedroom, peeping round the door, trying not to wake me, but waking me anyway
It made me :)

because it use to happen to me with my mother , when I use to feel so exhausted , so I know how you feel


....today. I was in bed from 11 a.m. till 4 p.m., sleeping the sleep of the exhausted............couldn`t have got up if a bomb had hit the house.
For me that was when I thought , going to keep ringing about day center as back then mum was on waiting list , get a carer in the morning , then when I got all that I tried respite

Its different for you I know .


but Please to read
I am now determined to set something in motion on Monday, when I see the GP to discuss my Xray