What do you miss the most

[jimbo 111]

When a Loved One Leaves

When a Loved One Leaves ( author unknown )

Time deadens the pain ,but in truth they never leave us
We sorely miss everything that is taken away from us ,be it death or the cruel
pain of parting through dementia
jimbo

When a loved one leaves they don't go far
they are all around they are where you are
They are in the wind in the treetops high
in the meadow flower ‘neath the summer sky.

They are in your thoughts be it night or day
they are by your side at your work and play
They are at your waking sleeping too
they are all things old they are all things new.

They are in the noise of a busy street
in the evening quiet when the days complete
They are in the sun they are in the rain
they are in your joy they are in your pain.

They are by your side they are constant true
like a guiding hand they will comfort you
They are love unknown they are joy yet seen
they are in your heart they are evergreen.

In a wave that breaks on a lonely shore
you will hear their voice as you did before
Calling out to you through time and space
where the angels look upon God's face.

They are perennial as the grass that grows
perennial as the winter snows
Perennial as the sea and sky
perennial for they never die.

Though life in time turns to life anew
even though they are gone they are still with you
When a loved one leaves they don't go far
they are all around they are where you are.
Author Unknown

 

[Saffie]

So true Jimbo, they are indeed all about us everywhere.
Ready to catch us when we least expect it.
It doesn't mean that their actual presence isn't missed though.
In fact, sometimes it accentuates the loss.

Thank you for posting this lovely poem.

 

[Lindy50]

Not sure how relevant this is, but I'm really missing my dad, who passed away some 12 years ago. He didn't have dementia, but he was blind, deaf, had cancer and krohn's disease amongst other things. Dad and I just had a connection. We seemed to have similar responses to things, we weren't bothered about possessions, but could read and debate for hours. We both loved cities.....which neither mum nor OH do. When we went into town we'd look at each other and smile, I remember him saying he loved the smell of diesel, which I do to this day. Dad was a boxer, and even when he was really frail, he never quite lost his muscular strength. He could do bear hugs that alleviated any distress. And he was a wonderful husband to mum, and grandfather to my children.

Oh dad, I have never stopped thinking of you, and I never will.

Sending love to others who grieve, and especially to those whose grief is so much more immediate than mine.

You never forget the ones you love xx

 

[truth24]

I miss my loving husband and my best friend.
Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[LYN T]

Not sure how relevant this is, but I'm really missing my dad, who passed away some 12 years ago. He didn't have dementia, but he was blind, deaf, had cancer and krohn's disease amongst other things. Dad and I just had a connection. We seemed to have similar responses to things, we weren't bothered about possessions, but could read and debate for hours. We both loved cities.....which neither mum nor OH do. When we went into town we'd look at each other and smile, I remember him saying he loved the smell of diesel, which I do to this day. Dad was a boxer, and even when he was really frail, he never quite lost his muscular strength. He could do bear hugs that alleviated any distress. And he was a wonderful husband to mum, and grandfather to my children.

Oh dad, I have never stopped thinking of you, and I never will.

Sending love to others who grieve, and especially to those whose grief is so much more immediate than mine.

You never forget the ones you love xx

Lindy, what lovely words.

Your Dad sounds as though he was amazing so it's no wonder you miss him so much. Grief is grief whether it's immediate or further back in time. It still hurts. Keep those happy memories close to your heart Lindy.

Love.

Lyn T X

 

[truth24]

How lovely to have had a father like that, Lindy. No wonder you still miss him.

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[AvvyGabby]

I miss my Mam so much.We have lived together all my life (55yrs).She has been in care now for 14 very long months.I miss seeing her first thing in the morning, her smile, her not being able to make everything alright for me. I miss being with her, and talking & laughing we were joined at the hip we did everything together.Now I see her twice a week for a few hours as she seems to get more confused & unsettled by anymore visits.I love & miss my Mam so much.Wish I could turn the clock back to when I was so nasty to her at times & lost my temper with her for repeating things.

 

[LYN T]

I miss my Mam so much.We have lived together all my life (55yrs).She has been in care now for 14 very long months.I miss seeing her first thing in the morning, her smile, her not being able to make everything alright for me. I miss being with her, and talking & laughing we were joined at the hip we did everything together.Now I see her twice a week for a few hours as she seems to get more confused & unsettled by anymore visits.I love & miss my Mam so much.Wish I could turn the clock back to when I was so nasty to her at times & lost my temper with her for repeating things.

Hello AvvyGabby and welcome to TP.

Turning the clock back would be wonderful wouldn't it?. On this Forum there would be a lot of clock turning as none of us are saints. We just do our best. We put up with so much-and one of those things is repetition It's a very trying trait of Dementia and when we as Carers are tired, worried or grief stricken and we see our loved ones slip away we can all react. You are not alone in that.

If at all possible, and I know it's difficult, try to focus on happier times with your Mam. Those times gave you both so much joy; they were the moments when you and your dear Mam were so happy and content. Dementia changes lots of things but one thing that can never change is the love and life you had with each other.

Take care

Lyn T XX

 

[Lindy50]

Thank you Lyn and truth xx

It seems a long time since I posted about dad. I have come across your responses because of AvvyGabby's post. I do feel very low today so it's good to be reminded again of how wonderful dad was, and how close we were. He was a real Eastender and used to sing me to sleep, when I was little, with music hall songs. I remember especially 'I'm Henry VIII I am', 'Cinderella Sweetheart' and 'My old man said follow the van'......there were loads more. He pulled himself up by his bootstraps and eventually became a computer engineer. He always said that one day everyone would have a computer in their home.....of course, in those days, people laughed at the idea

My youngest daughter was also devoted to dad, and even after twelve years, still keeps his flat cap by the side of her bed!

So AvvyGabby, I do feel for you. Sending you (((hugs))) and best wishes. Try not to worry about the occasional spat.....I think we all have those, especially when we're really close like you and your mam xx

 

[AvvyGabby]

Hello AvvyGabby and welcome to TP.

Turning the clock back would be wonderful wouldn't it?. On this Forum there would be a lot of clock turning as none of us are saints. We just do our best. We put up with so much-and one of those things is repetition It's a very trying trait of Dementia and when we as Carers are tired, worried or grief stricken and we see our loved ones slip away we can all react. You are not alone in that.

If at all possible, and I know it's difficult, try to focus on happier times with your Mam. Those times gave you both so much joy; they were the moments when you and your dear Mam were so happy and content. Dementia changes lots of things but one thing that can never change is the love and life you had with each other.

Take care

Lyn T XX

Thankyou Lyn T for your reply & kind words.I shall do my best.
Take care xx

 

[AvvyGabby]

Thank you Lyn and truth xx

It seems a long time since I posted about dad. I have come across your responses because of AvvyGabby's post. I do feel very low today so it's good to be reminded again of how wonderful dad was, and how close we were. He was a real Eastender and used to sing me to sleep, when I was little, with music hall songs. I remember especially 'I'm Henry VIII I am', 'Cinderella Sweetheart' and 'My old man said follow the van'......there were loads more. He pulled himself up by his bootstraps and eventually became a computer engineer. He always said that one day everyone would have a computer in their home.....of course, in those days, people laughed at the idea


My youngest daughter was also devoted to dad, and even after twelve years, still keeps his flat cap by the side of her bed!

So AvvyGabby, I do feel for you. Sending you (((hugs))) and best wishes. Try not to worry about the occasional spat.....I think we all have those, especially when we're really close like you and your mam xx

Thanks Lindy50.

Hugs back xx

 

[Scarlett123]

Huge hugs and cuddles to you both xxx

 

[WIFE]

I missed my darling offering me a tissue and taking my hand as I cried softly through "Swan Lake" yesterday. I felt his presence but not his person.

Still miss that second cup of coffee each morning - dog just cannot get the message!