What do you miss the most

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,790
0
Hertfordshire
I have kept Dave's dressing gown too, Lyn, and a couple of jumpers which I shall wear when it is cold. I have already worn the dressing gown which is of a lovely soft material and bought when he went into hospital. Not my size nor my colour, but who cares! I also still have some clothes in the wardrobe but all that he wore in the home has been given to charity.

The slides will be difficult to sort through. There were hundreds as we sent them home to our parents but I have already carried out the first cull some time ago and will throw out more of scenery etc too. It makes me so sad to have to look at them though.
It was so long ago, another time, another life. xxx

I have Gordons terry towelling dressing gown. I bought it for him when I cameback to England to marry him26 years ago. I used it on my baptism a couple of weeks ago it helped me feel he was there too.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
I have Gordons terry towelling dressing gown. I bought it for him when I cameback to England to marry him26 years ago. I used it on my baptism a couple of weeks ago it helped me feel he was there too.

This moved me to tears - how poignant.
 

Raz

Registered User
Sep 22, 2014
4
0
I miss all those things too. The man I loved with all my heart has gone. I also miss the fact that we could often read each other's mind..
 

dumpygirl

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
115
0
derbyshire
Yes it's mainly the sensible conversation and sharing family news and anecdotes, getting advice on important decisions and not having to think what I'm saying as it may cause even more confusion. Watching TV together and OH not thinking it's all happening to him. Sadly it does quickly become difficult to really remember how he used to be.


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

I could have written exactly this myself Jinx. You have summed up how I feel exactly.
So often I think I will tell him this or that and then stop myself saying it because I know he will not understand it. Feel so lonely sometimes, especially as I no longer have my mum to talk to. However I am very lucky that I have two lovely daughters who are very supportive so I count my blessings.
 

Luisa

Registered User
Jul 29, 2012
4
0
my dad

I miss my Dad's daft sense of humour..which we shared...and his cringe-worthy corny jokes. :p His whistling a favourite tune; his sense of fun. All gone, except occasionally, when I prompt him with the first line of one of the daft limericks he used to recite, he will say the rest of it. "The boy stood on the burning deck...." for example. :)

To be honest, I just miss my Dad, who was always there for me and could sort anything out. Now the roles are reversed and I miss the man he was.

I miss my dad like you,,,,,,, he also will say the rest of "The boy stood on the burning deck" as well as complete the end of lines of nursery rhymes. He was always the competent one - could do everything, now I have to do everything for him
 

Hannah B

Registered User
Mar 16, 2012
2
0
I miss the conversations with my mam.

She has helped me so much through my life and now I feel helpless when it comes to helping her.

She was my friend and rock and a wonderful mam and nana.

When I visit her I sit beside her bed and tell her what is happening in my life but she can't communicate with me and I don't know if she understands any of it.

I miss her so much and the time we used to spend together.
 

Tiller Girl

Registered User
May 14, 2012
96
0
There's lots of things I miss about my husband but mainly his sense of humour which is no longer there.

I try not to dwell on the things that are missing but try to concentrate on the things that are left. :eek:
 

disi

Registered User
Aug 4, 2014
5,722
0
Ex pat living in Sweden
I miss the person he was, I could always depend on him for protection, love, thoughtfulness. Taking care of all the finances, checking the cars were OK. Now the role is reversed and not always easy.
 

2leftfeet

Registered User
Apr 14, 2010
1
0
Fell in love 69 years ago, married for 63 years and my darling has been in a care/nursing home for nearly 6 years. I just miss HER!
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
What do you miss the most from pre- dementia days?

I miss the discussions we used to have which sometimes carried on til the early hours:) Politics/sport/literature/music/ourselves-we could talk for England:D

Scrabble-very competitive;)

Meals out-mmm lovely

Days out

Holidays-we used to be frequent travelers

Music and concerts

Our easy, close relationship-I'm beginning to forget what it was once like

Take care

Lyn T

Having no fear for the future, and taking that for granted. Hearing hubby say he wanted to live a long time so he could watch out for me!

Selfish, aye? But those WERE good words.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
0
Norfolk
The shared memories.
Now there is nobody alive to know the story behind a bought memento or the background to an old photograph.
I have hundreds of colour slides of our time spent living abroad which I need to transfer to the computer.
I've been wondering whether it is now worth doing as there is nobody left to share the memories with me.
I will probably discard most of them.

Oh, I wouldn't. Do the slides, Saffie. It'll help you when there's time to just sit and think. None of us want time to just sit and think, more than likely. Plus, you'll always have those lovely memories around you if/when you need them.
 

bigsis

Registered User
Apr 12, 2013
6
0
Being cherished.

Being out together and relaxing; these days I am on constant look out for him.

Holidays

Just being able to talk about whatever; I have to think twice about what I say in case I upset him

Having time on my own in the house; because he can't work anymore, he's always there
 

Ambrosia

Registered User
Apr 4, 2014
5
0
My dad was my best friend and was always my back up when and if I needed him. I miss having him be the first person I called when something went wrong. He was my support when anything wasn't going right and we always were a team. He still is there to support me when he is having a good day to the best of his abilities but normally its me helping him since my mother isn't able to be his rock. The roles are reversed now. :(
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
0
Essex
As I sat by John's side this afternoon, I realised that what I probably miss the most is the easy, companionable atmosphere that existed between us for nearly half a century. Oh to have that back again!
 

Sbrown5024

Registered User
Jan 6, 2011
3
0
Birmingham
Miss my anchor in life

I miss the man who was the first person to show me any love. I miss the way he looked after me so beautifully and handled all the finances I really hate doing that. I miss my rock and anchor who continually put me first in his life.
 

angel73

Registered User
Oct 5, 2014
5
0
Banter

I used to be in hysterics listening to my other half and the way he bounced off his Mum as they used to be more like friends rather than Mum and Son.

I think he misses that more than anything now as he is now in the position of parenting his Mum in lots of ways and doesn't have the same relationship anymore, which scares and unbalances him.
 

PODGEO

Registered User
Jan 18, 2012
54
0
what we miss most

LYN
Isn't it strange? I miss exactly all those things you have listed
But he always used to say to me "live for the present; don't regret the mistakes of the past, and don't worry needlessly about the future;" So now I think how wonderful to see him smile and feel a hug...not that often ! but physical comfort and emotional sharing make up for a lot.
love
PODGEO
What do you miss the most from pre- dementia days?

I miss the discussions we used to have which sometimes carried on til the early hours:) Politics/sport/literature/music/ourselves-we could talk for England:D

Scrabble-very competitive;)

Meals out-mmm lovely

Days out

Holidays-we used to be frequent travelers

Music and concerts

Our easy, close relationship-I'm beginning to forget what it was once like

Take care

Lyn T
 

annie irma

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11
0
I miss the daily nonsense telephone calls from my Mum, which strangely sometimes irritated when I was busy or just rushing out the door. Now I long for those back!
Oh and someone who hugs me back!
Annette
 

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