What do you miss the most

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by LYN T, Sep 26, 2014.

  1. rajahh

    rajahh Registered User

    Aug 29, 2008
    2,796
    Hertfordshire
    I have Gordons terry towelling dressing gown. I bought it for him when I cameback to England to marry him26 years ago. I used it on my baptism a couple of weeks ago it helped me feel he was there too.
     
  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    This moved me to tears - how poignant.
     
  3. Raz

    Raz Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    4
    I miss all those things too. The man I loved with all my heart has gone. I also miss the fact that we could often read each other's mind..
     
  4. dumpygirl

    dumpygirl Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    115
    derbyshire
    I could have written exactly this myself Jinx. You have summed up how I feel exactly.
    So often I think I will tell him this or that and then stop myself saying it because I know he will not understand it. Feel so lonely sometimes, especially as I no longer have my mum to talk to. However I am very lucky that I have two lovely daughters who are very supportive so I count my blessings.
     
  5. Luisa

    Luisa Registered User

    Jul 29, 2012
    4
    my dad

    I miss my dad like you,,,,,,, he also will say the rest of "The boy stood on the burning deck" as well as complete the end of lines of nursery rhymes. He was always the competent one - could do everything, now I have to do everything for him
     
  6. Hannah B

    Hannah B Registered User

    Mar 16, 2012
    2
    I miss the conversations with my mam.

    She has helped me so much through my life and now I feel helpless when it comes to helping her.

    She was my friend and rock and a wonderful mam and nana.

    When I visit her I sit beside her bed and tell her what is happening in my life but she can't communicate with me and I don't know if she understands any of it.

    I miss her so much and the time we used to spend together.
     
  7. Tiller Girl

    Tiller Girl Registered User

    May 14, 2012
    91
    There's lots of things I miss about my husband but mainly his sense of humour which is no longer there.

    I try not to dwell on the things that are missing but try to concentrate on the things that are left. :eek:
     
  8. yorkieinlincs

    yorkieinlincs Registered User

    Apr 20, 2012
    144
    South Lincolnshire
    Literally, everything about her.
     
  9. disi

    disi Registered User

    I miss the person he was, I could always depend on him for protection, love, thoughtfulness. Taking care of all the finances, checking the cars were OK. Now the role is reversed and not always easy.
     
  10. 2leftfeet

    2leftfeet Registered User

    Apr 14, 2010
    1
    Fell in love 69 years ago, married for 63 years and my darling has been in a care/nursing home for nearly 6 years. I just miss HER!
     
  11. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Having no fear for the future, and taking that for granted. Hearing hubby say he wanted to live a long time so he could watch out for me!

    Selfish, aye? But those WERE good words.
     
  12. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Oh, I wouldn't. Do the slides, Saffie. It'll help you when there's time to just sit and think. None of us want time to just sit and think, more than likely. Plus, you'll always have those lovely memories around you if/when you need them.
     
  13. bigsis

    bigsis Registered User

    Apr 12, 2013
    6
    Being cherished.

    Being out together and relaxing; these days I am on constant look out for him.

    Holidays

    Just being able to talk about whatever; I have to think twice about what I say in case I upset him

    Having time on my own in the house; because he can't work anymore, he's always there
     
  14. Ambrosia

    Ambrosia Registered User

    Apr 4, 2014
    5
    My dad was my best friend and was always my back up when and if I needed him. I miss having him be the first person I called when something went wrong. He was my support when anything wasn't going right and we always were a team. He still is there to support me when he is having a good day to the best of his abilities but normally its me helping him since my mother isn't able to be his rock. The roles are reversed now. :(
     
  15. piph

    piph Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    1,530
    Northamptonshire
    I miss the fact that my Mum can't tell me what to do any more. If ever I was in a quandary, she (or my Dad) would always be able to come up with a sensible solution. Now she's the problem, and, with my dad having died over 11 years ago, there is nobody to tell me how to cope. OH tries his best, but leaves all the decision making to me, and isn't very good with her ( but then neither am I, to tell the truth :( )as he is very easily irritated and can't seem to grasp that she can no longer understand things.

    I also miss the giggles - sometimes something would strike both of us as hilarious and we'd giggle for hours. Now it's very seldom that she laughs at all.
     
  16. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    As I sat by John's side this afternoon, I realised that what I probably miss the most is the easy, companionable atmosphere that existed between us for nearly half a century. Oh to have that back again!
     
  17. Sbrown5024

    Sbrown5024 Registered User

    Jan 6, 2011
    3
    Birmingham
    Miss my anchor in life

    I miss the man who was the first person to show me any love. I miss the way he looked after me so beautifully and handled all the finances I really hate doing that. I miss my rock and anchor who continually put me first in his life.
     
  18. angel73

    angel73 Registered User

    Oct 5, 2014
    5
    Banter

    I used to be in hysterics listening to my other half and the way he bounced off his Mum as they used to be more like friends rather than Mum and Son.

    I think he misses that more than anything now as he is now in the position of parenting his Mum in lots of ways and doesn't have the same relationship anymore, which scares and unbalances him.
     
  19. PODGEO

    PODGEO Registered User

    Jan 18, 2012
    54
    what we miss most

    LYN
    Isn't it strange? I miss exactly all those things you have listed
    But he always used to say to me "live for the present; don't regret the mistakes of the past, and don't worry needlessly about the future;" So now I think how wonderful to see him smile and feel a hug...not that often ! but physical comfort and emotional sharing make up for a lot.
    love
    PODGEO
     
  20. Tuonotel

    Tuonotel Registered User

    Feb 23, 2013
    3
    Lewes, East Sussex
    I miss the weekend fishing trips with Dad. Sitting up all night just chatting and drinking endless cups of tea.
     

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