I think it's time for a care home when
for whatever reason(s), the carer(s) can't cope any more
And/or
The person isn't safe to be left alone at all any more.
Others may think differently, of course,
I don't think there's much point in discussing either the diagnosis or care homes with your mother. People with dementia are often unable to understand that there's anything wrong with them - they can't remember that they can't remember anything, if that makes sense.
And hardly anyone, with or without dementia, will say they are happy to go into a care home. It's often the case that you just have to do/arrange what's necessary, and get around it with 'love lies' - it's what the dr ordered, it's just ' convalescence' for a while, it's just until the dr thinks you're a bit better/stronger, it's just while we have the decorators/plumbers in and the house is upside down (whether true or not) - whatever sounds good and suits your individual circs best.
All the best.
Thank you Witzend, I have just been reading through this thread and found it very informative for me. Your description above, is one of the best I've come across
We reckon mum started years ago ( maybe up to 8 years ) now mixed diagnosed of vas and Alzheimer's. I smiled at your reference about ' tough old bird ' that's my mum to a tee !!
Dad was diagnosed with vas and start to finish two and half years.
The amount of ' love lies ' I tell are astronomical