The same road
Hi, Micky your first post struck a cord with me. I was always an angry young man and would 'tell it how it is', in fact when I worked with Americans that was how I was introduced. I've mellowed with the years, but in the early years of my wife's Alz I lashed out with my tongue time and time again, with hospital and NH staff, with good cause I might add.
Now since going it alone caring for Jean, one of the best gifts I've earned is patience. Now, I try to accept none of us are perfect, a product of our upbringing.
My method of dealing with frustrating situations could be with considered humorous, or not. Here are two examples:
When trying to park at a supermarket, there was a woman sitting in a 4x4 with the engine running. She was parked in a disabled slot and chatting away to a friend, she was young, healthy and with no blue badge.
"Could you please turn off you engine, or vacate the area?" She couldn't believe her ears.
"What.....what did you say?"
"Oh I'm sorry, only two watts, your not very bright, but this area is for Disabled parking" They stopped talking and she dashed off!
2. I was pushing Jean by a school where there are calming bumps. I indicated to a speeding driver to slow down. He screeched to a halt and became very abusive. My remarks seemed to cool him down.
"It's OK I can see your having trouble with self control, which is not very good for vehicle control!"
You will learn in time to ignore the negative distractions and devote your 'present time', which is always with us, to lovingly caring for your girl. It's a mind game that'll get you through, once you master that I know you can do it. Keep telling yourself there is only NOW to deal with, the NOW will be with you as long as you live. Along the Sea of Time you may encounter good and bad times, plan ahead, but don't worry about something that may or may not happen.
I wish you well in caring for you wife. Padraig