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welcome to TP
as if it's not enough looking out for someone diagnosed with dementia, the tensions that appear in families can tear relationships apart
sadly, what your partner is facing isn't an unfamiliar situation here - some family members seem unable to appreciate how much it costs emotionally, physically and financially to support a parent - and, to be honest, some people just aren't cut out to be carers; sad and frustrating as that is
so I'm afraid your partner's brothers are unlikely to change, however unfair that feels; especially if she has already laid it on the line how much she is doing for their mother
it does often seem that one daughter is pretty much left to get on with things
are LPAs in place for her mother? - it would certainly be useful for your partner to have these so that she has the legal authority to take over her mother's affairs and act on her behalf
has the mother's Local Authority Adult Services been asked to carry out an assessment of your partner's mother's care needs, as she has a right to this and a care package in place (eg home care visits, a sitter, day care, respite) will take some of the strain from your partner - she actually has a right to a carer's assessment, too
sorry not to have suggestions to get the brothers involved - maybe your partner needs to accept their stance and settle her mind to get on with her mother's care in her own way - if they don't interfere, that at least means that she can go ahead and make decisions on her own, with your support
might she herself also join TP; it really does help to realise there are others in similar situations
@Capt Pat your post is very familiar to me because I am struggling with my husband who appears fairly normal to friends and relatives apart from memory slips and having only one topic of conversation. He is however getting increasingly difficult to live with. I am having to adapt my behaviour and realised only yesterday that reasoning is useless and I just have to ignore the ridiculous incidents which are like those of a naughty child. He has not had a diagnosis yet so it is a case of struggling through trying to work out the best way to proceed without damaging my health too. This place has made quite a difference and whenever there is an incident I logon and read the other posts to try and figure out how to cope. So far it has buoyed me up to carry on. Your situation is more advanced than mine and hope you find support on here to help you. One thing I have learned is that things may be going along normally and then there is a switch and something out of character occurs. I have to start being prepared for this and not get lulled into a sense of false security. Driving is something I worry about, should I be? Good luck with your family and hope that the forums help.Hi
Just heard about this group and am hoping that I may get information and ideas on coping mechanisms as and when things crop up. My husband has early onset Alzheimers which was diagnosed a couple of years ago. On reflection he has probably had it for longer than this but just didn't recognise the early signs. We are now both 60 and it is a shock to us both that the things we planned for may never now happen. This is ok and we will of course make new plans but maybe not the ones we had hoped to do. I wont say anymore for now but welcome the chance to read what others have to say and maybe add more later
hello @CazzaMHi there
I'm joining looking for ideas to help my Mum. She is middle stage I think, but now new difficulties are arising and now both Mum and Dad are in their mid eighties it's getting more challenging.