Waiting for a diagnosis

[Teddy1960]

Hi , so glad I have found these forums. For the last 4 years my husband has been really struggling at work he was in a very stressful job but he was beginning to not be able to cope. He was advised to go on the sick and that was twelve months ago and although I see no worsening of his Cognitive Impairment there is no improvement. His sick notes fro GP just said fatigue. He had had scans blood tests memory tests and nothing until the police picked him up the other day for driving too close behind a vehicle. He was sectioned and held in a mental institution for assessment and later released. They are referring him back to the memory clinic . I am so fed up of going around in circles and do frightened if dementia is found. He is do slow just tired all the time and easily distracted . I would be grateful if someone who has been in this situation could advise

 

[Lady M]

Hi , so glad I have found these forums. For the last 4 years my husband has been really struggling at work he was in a very stressful job but he was beginning to not be able to cope. He was advised to go on the sick and that was twelve months ago and although I see no worsening of his Cognitive Impairment there is no improvement. His sick notes fro GP just said fatigue. He had had scans blood tests memory tests and nothing until the police picked him up the other day for driving too close behind a vehicle. He was sectioned and held in a mental institution for assessment and later released. They are referring him back to the memory clinic . I am so fed up of going around in circles and do frightened if dementia is found. He is do slow just tired all the time and easily distracted . I would be grateful if someone who has been in this situation could advise

Just had to reply
I cannot comment on your situation but just to say I am new to this forum but finding it very informative!
I trust that your situation will be resolved quickly.
My husband has suspect Lewy Bodies Dementia with a lot of other conditions (diabetes, osteoporosis etc) , still awaiting confirmation after almost two years, and a very dramatic decline recently! So I understand your frustration and concerns
Very best wishes for a peaceful evening

 

[Lady M]

Just had to reply
I cannot comment on your situation but just to say I am new to this forum but finding it very informative!
I trust that your situation will be resolved quickly.
My husband has suspect Lewy Bodies Dementia with a lot of other conditions (diabetes, osteoporosis etc) , still awaiting confirmation after almost two years, and a very dramatic decline recently! So I understand your frustration and concerns
Very best wishes for a peaceful evening

 

[try again]

Has he been considered for depression?

 

[Duggies-girl]

Oh dear @Teddy1960 this sounds awful. At least they have referred him back to the memory clinic so you may get some answers. I know it is hard but you need to wait and see what they find in case it is something other than dementia . Don't go fearing the worse, it may be something else .I hope so

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Teddy1960, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

As others have suggested, the diagnosis process is important as many treatable conditions can present with dementia like symptoms.

There is an AS Factsheet about the process and this may help you with understanding what's happening. If you click on this link you can read the document https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/media/966

Otherwise, do keep posting as you will get support here from people who understand through experience.

 

[Teddy1960]

Has he been considered for depression?

No not really, his GP practice is not very good Didn't have an answer at all we were just left I limbo until the other day

 

[Teddy1960]

Just had to reply
I cannot comment on your situation but just to say I am new to this forum but finding it very informative!
I trust that your situation will be resolved quickly.
My husband has suspect Lewy Bodies Dementia with a lot of other conditions (diabetes, osteoporosis etc) , still awaiting confirmation after almost two years, and a very dramatic decline recently! So I understand your frustration and concerns
Very best wishes for a peaceful evening

 

[Teddy1960]

Just had the diagnosis it is dementia. Feel like my whole world is crumbling. Scared for the future and being lonely. Scared for him We seem to be arguing lots at the moment is this normal

 

[Scraggy mag]

Just had the diagnosis it is dementia. Feel like my whole world is crumbling. Scared for the future and being lonely. Scared for him We seem to be arguing lots at the moment is this normal

I know exactly what you mean we went through it last week it's shocking even though you know .I felt so sorry for him and selfishly for me too.its the unknown what is in the future .we do argue about silly things but we are only human .it's a horrible cruel disease try to keep strong take care xx

 

[canary]

Im sorry @Teddy1960 it always comes as a shock when you hear the diagnosis, even though deep down you know what it is.

Now is the time to get paperwork sorted. Get POA (both finances and health&welfare)as soon as you can, register them and put them away until you need them. Make sure wills are sorted out and find out what benefits you are both eligible for. - Citizens Advice or AgeUK can help with this. Then do what you can while you can. Go on holidays and do things together. This forum is wonderful for suggestions and solutions for any practical problems, getting support or just venting.

 

[AliceA]

Now you have a diagnosis, you know what you are fighing, together.
As Canary said get your affairs in order.
Do get help with filling in forms, there is an art in the wording.
Then think what you want to do, a calm loving positude attitude is a good weapon, hard to imagine when you are reeling.
There is plenty of good adivice.
Remember everyone is different, every situation is different.

My warmest thoughts. Alice

 

[Teddy1960]

I know exactly what you mean we went through it last week it's shocking even though you know .I felt so sorry for him and selfishly for me too.its the unknown what is in the future .we do argue about silly things but we are only human .it's a horrible cruel disease try to keep strong take care xx

 

[Teddy1960]

Thankyou for your reply. I do feel alone at the moment and feel guilty for not wanting to give up my job ..... It's my lifeline and I will need this when things deteriorate x

 

[Teddy1960]

Im sorry @Teddy1960 it always comes as a shock when you hear the diagnosis, even though deep down you know what it is.

Now is the time to get paperwork sorted. Get POA (both finances and health&welfare)as soon as you can, register them and put them away until you need them. Make sure wills are sorted out and find out what benefits you are both eligible for. - Citizens Advice or AgeUK can help with this. Then do what you can while you can. Go on holidays and do things together. This forum is wonderful for suggestions and solutions for any practical problems, getting support or just venting.

Thank

 

[Teddy1960]

Thankyou your post means a lot. Got appointment with solicitor soon xx

 

[Teddy1960]

Now you have a diagnosis, you know what you are fighing, together.
As Canary said get your affairs in order.
Do get help with filling in forms, there is an art in the wording.
Then think what you want to do, a calm loving positude attitude is a good weapon, hard to imagine when you are reeling.
There is plenty of good adivice.
Remember everyone is different, every situation is different.

My warmest thoughts. Alice

Thank you

 

[Teddy1960]

Thankyou Alice your words mean so much xx

 

[karaokePete]

Hello again @Teddy1960, feelings such as loneliness, guilt, grief etc., are normal. The forum exists to support you.

You mention wanting to keep your job. It's important to do that if you can as it helps to maintain you as an individual the broader society. Caring can produce great isolation.

You mention arguments and this is also normal as you get to grips with your new reality. There is a great tread on communication that has lots of tips and I'll post a link in a minute.

 

[karaokePete]

Here's that link - I hope it helps (I have read that thread often myself)

https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/