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Visiting is horrible

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
Hi I am finding it so difficult to cope with visiting Chris in assessment unit he mostly doesn't talk and spends all the time pacing about is still very agitated and gets this frightened look in his eyes he mostly doesn't know who I am it has got so I force myself to go and see him which makes me feel awful
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,524
North East England
I felt the same when my mam was in an assessment unit after being sectioned, nannylondon. It is horrible. We hated her being there but at the time something had to be done as things weren't good at home. They wanted her to stay for six weeks but when I saw dad's absolutely stricken face, I managed to persuade them to reduce it to three, and that was bad enough.

I hope things improve very soon, for you both. Much love at this awful time xx
 

lesley1958

Registered User
Mar 24, 2015
107
Bristol
I think you are doing brilliantly. Your OH sounds far more unwell than my dad who is still at home and still ok some of the time - but even so I dread every phone call and every visit. And I dread it because I love him so much. You don't feel this way because you don't care enough. You feel this way because you care so much
 

mabbs

Registered User
Dec 1, 2014
238
Lancashire
Hi I am finding it so difficult to cope with visiting Chris in assessment unit he mostly doesn't talk and spends all the time pacing about is still very agitated and gets this frightened look in his eyes he mostly doesn't know who I am it has got so I force myself to go and see him which makes me feel awful
hi, I know how you feel, its hard, Phil rarely speaks, unlike Chris most of the time he just sits, though he has had a couple of days pacing, and yes its hard to visit, but I feel worse if I dont, I try and time my visits so that its not too long until lunch or dinner, then he is distracted when I leave, sometimes, I am only there 15 mins, if I cant get any response I sit for a while and then say goodbye, I used to go every day but now its every other so I have a break, occasionally he seemed really pleased to see me, when that happens its wonderful, and makes it easier to go in again for a while. Dont feel awful, its normal, I am sure we are not the only ones who struggle.
 

nannylondon

Registered User
Apr 7, 2014
2,475
London
hi, I know how you feel, its hard, Phil rarely speaks, unlike Chris most of the time he just sits, though he has had a couple of days pacing, and yes its hard to visit, but I feel worse if I dont, I try and time my visits so that its not too long until lunch or dinner, then he is distracted when I leave, sometimes, I am only there 15 mins, if I cant get any response I sit for a while and then say goodbye, I used to go every day but now its every other so I have a break, occasionally he seemed really pleased to see me, when that happens its wonderful, and makes it easier to go in again for a while. Dont feel awful, its normal, I am sure we are not the only ones who struggle.
Thanks Mabbs unfortunately when I was going to visit today I got phone call from unit to say Chris had a fall and was taken to A&E in another hospital.I went there but he had been taken back to unit then this evening got another call unit were not happy with his mobility and have called ambulance to take him.back to A&E waiting to see what is happening before I go to hospital x
 

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