Update
Hi everyone
First off can I say a heartfelt thank you to each and every one who took the time to reply to my post. I have read and re-read them and I feel support, see sensible advice and compassion for my Parents situation. I feel so fortunate to have found this forum.
The situation 3 days on is this (I am almost ashamed to write this) I did not call him in, I could not do it although I have a contingincy plan in place for Tuesday may 8th. I so,so hope that people reading this who replied dont think..hmmm,she had all our advice,mainly telling her to call him and she went and ignored it...It was not like that at all and that I promise.
I have not been able to see my parents since Friday as young son quite ill with viral infection (ok today) but from what my Dad has been saying you would think they had popped out to lourdes and got a cure! Apparently Mom is fantastic and "back to normal" and "those pills are working" and he praised me for getting him out of the house that day and taking him back under the guise of the "real" husband. He said it worked fantastic and no probs since. Now what I am feeling is this...cynical!!! I feel he is going OTT because he is SO desperate to keep her at home and at this exact moment in time I dont want to rain on his parade (or should that be charade!!!)
Anyway I do have a plan as tomorrow is the first visit from the CPN who is attached to the hospital. I am going to ring her before she comes in,explain what has happened and take her advice and if she wants to pass it all on to the said doctor then it is, in a way ,out of my hands. I will also mention I am almost 100% sure I witnessed Mom having a mini stroke in the middle of it all. I so hope I am doing the right thing. Dad kept begging me that afteroon not to call the Doctor and in the middle of all the stress and confusion I just wanted to calm him down a bit I suppose.
Something has come to my mind regarding my parents and their attitude to hospitals and I do hope I am not digressing but would like to share it with you. My parents have almost a phobia about hospitals, they see them as never coming home and almost like a punishment if that makes an ounce of sense to anyone reading this. This was brought home to me almost tragically 2 years ago. In July 2005 Mom had a stroke, it was a friday and it was around 7pm. The first I heard of it was on the saturday morning at 9AM! I had a call from Dad, "I think your Mom has had a stroke" Dashed round there (only live 1 mile away) and found Mom in bed, clearly had had one and rang 999 straight away. When I asked Dad why he left it until now he explained he put her to bed and hoped it was something else and she would be OK in the morning. Apparently he carried her to bed and hoped it would all just go away!
Mom was hospitalised for around a month and I cant fault his loyalty as in that particular hospital it was open visiting and he went from midday until 8pm and never missed a day. Mom made a good recovery regarding her body but it was clear her mind was damaged as she spend most of those 8 hours of Dad's visiting throwing things at him and blaming him for having her "put away in this hell hole"
I have since,many times thought about and questioned my Dad's actions on that Friday. The fear his wife would be taken away from him was the main one. I can see how anybody reading this may think how ridiculous that sounds and of course it was a medical emergency but Dad was in denial. I have since stopped asking myself if earlier medical intervention may have produced a better long term outcome for Mom because the answer to that question hurts my heart. Of course it would.
Back to present then and something stands out to myself now (these boards are theraputic,i can read my post and see a light coming on!) my Dad then was in denial and on Friday was in denial. Hoping it will all just go away. Well it wont and if it happens again I will take over, like I did on that morning in July 2 years ago and I do not regret my actions then,quite the opposite, and I wont regret them now(or whenever it happens) Sometimes you have to look outside the box and put the welfare of people before emotions. If I did not do it 2 years ago I probably would not have a Mom now. Hope I am not making Dad out as a fool as he is a highly intelligent Man who's judgement is severly clouded at the thought of Mom going away from him,wether that be temporarily or not. One final thing to add is in the early days of Mom's stroke when things looked bleak he actually gave me his will to look after. He told me " if your Mom dies, I will be making plans to join her so sort out the money for you and the lads" Devotion? selfishness? Who knows. All I will say is it was said in a calm way, he had planned it out and I feel that he would have carried it through, which probably stands true today.
Thank you all so much for listening and replying . I do feel like the new girl here as diagnosis only 2 weeks old. Please bear with me if I dont do the right things and may extend my thoughts and best wishes to all those who lives are blighted by this cruel confusing disease.
Kxxxxx