Vascular Dementia

[Priti]

Hello All,
My mother had been diagnosed with vascular dementia since June 2020, when she suffered a stroke. She's now a totally a bedbound patient has 2 carers attending her 4 times a day. She has been provided with a hospital pressure bed to avoid bed sores from happening. She is in this condition for now almost 4 years. He memory is totally lost, doesn't recognise me who I am to her. Her speech is not clear can't understand or makes sense what she says. I am caring for her at home, As I promised my dad when he was dying that I will look after her and my dad didn't want her to go to a care home.. My mother pockets water and food in her mouth which is a cause of concern and GP is aware of this. Whilst eating she will suddenly stop eating and sit as if she is dazed. Is this symptoms the last stages of dementia?
Thank you.
Priti

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Priti

It`s difficult to say whether or not your mother is in the last stages of dementia. What does her doctor say?

You made a promise to your dad when neither of you knew how challenging it would be for you to care at home without help.

If you contact social services you will get a carers assessment and this will enable you to get professional help and advice.

Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide

See if you can get support from your council, such as extra money or a break from caring.

www.nhs.uk

 

[canary]

Hello @Priti

Its impossible to be sure over a forum, but it does sound to me as though your mum is in the last stages of dementia. That does not mean that she will die imminently, though - people can live in the last stages of dementia for a couple of years. Alternatively, she may suddenly deteriorate and pass away within a couple of weeks. Im afraid that there is just no knowing.

I think you have done really well to look after your mum up to this stage, but with dementia it just gets harder and harder. Your dad will have had no idea what he was making you promise - it is a promise that eventually becomes impossible to keep as the person with dementias needs overwhelm the carer. I suspect that what your dad was wanting was that you didnt abandon your mum - many people think that moving someone into a care home is tantamount to abandoning them, but it is not. It is finding the best care for them and you will still be involved in your mums life and care, just in a different way

If you dont already have carers coming in 4 times a day to help you then start organising that and if you have carers then I would honestly start looking at nursing homes that provide end of life care. Contact Social Services for a needs assessment for your mum.