Vascular dementia on top of everything else

[misst08]

My Mum has vascular dementia, but is also confined to a hospital bed in her own home due to aneurisms on the brain which affect her mobility and eyesight.
She thinks she is house sitting for an Auntie (who passed away a couple of years ago). She keeps saying she wishes she would come home so that she can go to her house and sleep in her own bed. We have tried to tell her she is in her own home but she does not believe this. Should we just go along with her version of events and pretend that she will be going home tomorrow. She thinks she's been there for over a week now.
She also keeps asking for a hand to get out of bed so she can go to the toilet. She gets annoyed with us when we say she can't because she can't wal, but she insists she can. How can we prove to her she can't walk without getting her out of bed? She is incontinent and has been told that if she has to go to the toilet just to go and it will get cleaned up. She keeps saying that is disgusting and that she needs to use the toilet. The nurse suggested a catheter about a week ago but everytime she came to do it Mam was asleep and she wouldn't wake her. Mam refused to have one any way so still not sure if it will happen.

 

[grahamR]

Hi

Sorry to hear of your problems.

My mother before she died became quite confused and we found the best way to defuse situations was to go along with her version of things, even though we were saying the same things day in and day out. The main thing is to to keep her calm and unstressed. Likewise with her wanting to get out of bed and go to the toilet, you could try saying that walking may be difficult today but you will help her try tomorrow. As we all know tomorrow never comes!

I'm sure some other people will have encountered exactly the same situation as you and will let you know how they coped.

Keep us updated with how you get on.

Graham

 

[rajahh]

as far as wanting to go home when she is home. This does seem to be quite common. My own husband says this regularly. I just say that perhaps we can go tomorrow but it would need organising. and as graham said tomorrow never comes.

As for wanting to get out of bed for the toilet, I am sorry I donot have answers.

My ownhusband is getting close to being confined to bed, and I truly do not know how we will manage that. Trial and error I am sure. Is there no way she could have a commode and just be helped on to that if it was by the side of her bed.. If it is a hospital bed can the bed be lowered until it is the same height as the commode seat??

Jeannette

 

[misst08]

Mum had her catheter fitted yesterday. She said she would give it a go. She said a few times last night she wanted it out, but I told her to give it a couple of days to get used to it.
The carers put her on the commode yesterday and they said she seemed much better in her balance, so she is going to get re-assessed to see if they will be able to sit her in the recliner in the sitting room. Hopefully this will give her a change of scenery and also she might associate the dining room with sleep and therefore her bedroom. She might also recognise that she's in her own house.

 

[grahamR]

Glad you are making progress, let's just hope it continues.