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That is true @Grannie G and is probably the most unexpected change of all as just expected to be sharing the task with her forever. The biggest of recent big changes for sure.
Thank you @canary , I think I realise this and for me I am happy where I am and will bide a while and see how her physical as well as mental problems develop.@Agzy - your Pauline is going to to continue to be unhappy where she is, but will not entertain the idea of moving. She is also unlikely to be happy wherever she moves to, because the unhappiness is internal. She is blaming her environment (and you too) because she cannot understand about her dementia. She thinks that if she goes somewhere else (and maybe leaves you too) she will leave behind the confusion, limitations and unhappiness of dementia, not understanding that she will simply take it all with her.
You will have to do what is best for you. You cannot "fix" Pauline, so you must make it easier for you to care for her. If this requires a move, then you will have to organise it yourself and use love lies to get her there.
Thank you @canary ,it just came as such a shock as so sudden and whole mood within our home now foreboding and simmering which is horrible and there seems to be nothing I can do to help or improve things for her.Oh @Agzy . I think she is indeed lost. She knows that Something is not right, but cant quite put her finger on what it is (although she is sure its not her!), so she is trying hard to keep it all together, but just cant. Mum used to complain that "things wernt working properly" too, not understanding that it was she who could no longer do it. I think the anger is due to frustration and because she is afraid of the changes.
So difficult for you