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Us two and IT

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I have been re-reading my journal of our journey with Alzheimer’s disease which is in its 5th year now and realising how big and frightening some issues seemed at the time. Today those issues are everyday irritations rather than frightening and the journey has been a lot slower than expected and can’t decide if that is a good thing or bad thing for both of us. For me it is a good thing as I got lots of travelling and exploring done and all with her blessing and indeed instance. For her I am not sure as the changes have been slow in the main with surges sometimes and seeing the distress this caused her has been a heartbreaking torture for her. During this time she has had a son take his own life and the others distance themselves as things progressed and sadly all remembered and brooded over as she constantly looks at their photos and nurses her phone as though willing them to call. Writing the journal has been a great therapy and, as the psychiatrist warned, will help in recall and sanity and would strongly advise it for those starting out on their own journey.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,323
0
England
I agree @Agzy, I too did a journal for 11 years. I always ended each day with saying how it had affected me. It covered 7 years of me being a sole Carer and 4 years of our life with my husband being in a Nursing home.

Looking back and re reading shows me how little I knew and how I struggled to understand what was happening to us in the beginning. Then it was noticing that things did not phase me as they once did. What ever was thrown up, it was dealt with and we moved on. Lesson learned, can’t change yesterday, deal with today, tomorrow is another day.

Some of it is hard to read but I’ll not delete it, it is part of our life and on days where I didn’t cope so well, it reminded me that I’ve faced far worse and survived it and I can do it again. It was not all doom and gloom, we laughed a lot, not always sure I knew what we were laughing at but if my husband was laughing, I laughed too.

It was therapeutic Agzy and as you say, well worth doing. My husband passed away four years ago and It’s been a while since I clicked back on to read, I did mine in Word on my laptop.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I agree @Agzy, I too did a journal for 11 years. I always ended each day with saying how it had affected me. It covered 7 years of me being a sole Carer and 4 years of our life with my husband being in a Nursing home.

Looking back and re reading shows me how little I knew and how I struggled to understand what was happening to us in the beginning. Then it was noticing that things did not phase me as they once did. What ever was thrown up, it was dealt with and we moved on. Lesson learned, can’t change yesterday, deal with today, tomorrow is another day.

Some of it is hard to read but I’ll not delete it, it is part of our life and on days where I didn’t cope so well, it reminded me that I’ve faced far worse and survived it and I can do it again. It was not all doom and gloom, we laughed a lot, not always sure I knew what we were laughing at but if my husband was laughing, I laughed too.

It was therapeutic Agzy and as you say, well worth doing. My husband passed away four years ago and It’s been a while since I clicked back on to read, I did mine in Word on my laptop.
For me re-reading it showed how emotive I am as I poured my heart out to an invisible and non critical audience that we cake ranting
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Since coming out of hospital just before lockdown started P has kept the habit of settling down early in the evening for the night, whereas I prefer our old way of 10 o’clock bed and early rising. The big problem is that her bed is now downstairs and no TV upstairs so we are in conflict and she has constantly complained of lack of sleep and me to blame. Then last night, by various diversions, I kept her up and awake until turned 10 o’clock having not napped all day either, and what a transformation this morning as she slept well (I didn't), is in a good mood and looks so much better. It will be interesting to see how the day progresses and how I go on with doing it again tonight but everything crossed.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Here we are on Monday morning after a lovely weekend even though just us 2 lockdown at home with just the TV etc for company. Pauline had good nights sleep for three nights and it seemed to be reflected in her sunny moods and just nice atmosphere and then came this morning 😢. She was sleeping when I left her a cup of tea and had my shower then, when I came down it was to face an angry and very confused lady. I have no idea what the trigger was but the ‘nasties’ are back and she just looks lost and confused . It is amazing how, with just a short spell of pleasantness, IT fades into the background and then leaps out and bites your bum as they say. Could be a long day.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,017
0
South East
We had that Saturday afternoon, it just makes my heart sink when I see the face and I want to just run far away . Hope it passes soon and the rest of the day improves for you .
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Yesterday started very badly for me as I received a message that my youngest daughter, a mother of five, a community Learning Disability nurse and recently seconded to an adult male psychiatric ward, has been isolated with suspected Covid 19. She has been tested and doesn’t herself believe she has it having been working patients with it for weeks but doesn’t stop the worry. Her husband has been our rock and main shopper as he is furloughed is also isolating of course but thankfully I have a large family to help but much rather he, my daughter and the kids be clear of it. Just waiting for results now.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,304
0
69
Dundee
I’m sorry to hear that @Agzy. It’s such a worry for you and your family. I hope there is good news about the results soon.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,651
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
After a worrying 48 hours it has been confirmed that my daughter, a nurse, has tested positive for Covid19 and she sounded very poorly but positive on the phone. Worries for her family from husband to her five children ranging from 6 to 18 all of whom are of course self quarantining. When she phoned she was more worried about who will be doing our shopping as the lynchpin has been her husband but others are able to step up so am sure all will be well. Stay safe everyone.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,002
0
South coast
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Agzy and daughter.

Im sure she will be well treated.
There are usually volunteers who are willing to get shopping. Try suggesting that they contact their local Parish Council to find out how to go about this

xxx