Trying to help

[Sparkle2]

My ex husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 4 years ago. Myself and our children now realize that the onset was probably showing signs a few years before that diagnosis. We have always had a good relationship after our divorce and shared many happy family gatherings and occasions. He has been a great help to me in difficult times as I have been to him. He still lives on his own but I go round everyday, helping with cleaning, washing, shopping and general day to day activities. For the last few weeks/months he has said he is showering and he is not. We make sure there are clean clothes, plenty of underwear/socks and outer wear. We just don't understand why he says this. He keeps buying shower gel to convince us he is using it but clearly isn't. Don't know how to deal with this anymore?

 

[Chizz]

My ex husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 4 years ago. Myself and our children now realize that the onset was probably showing signs a few years before that diagnosis. We have always had a good relationship after our divorce and shared many happy family gatherings and occasions. He has been a great help to me in difficult times as I have been to him. He still lives on his own but I go round everyday, helping with cleaning, washing, shopping and general day to day activities. For the last few weeks/months he has said he is showering and he is not. We make sure there are clean clothes, plenty of underwear/socks and outer wear. We just don't understand why he says this. He keeps buying shower gel to convince us he is using it but clearly isn't. Don't know how to deal with this anymore?

Hi @Oscarson
It's a difficult one.
The only real answer is supervision - getting him to shower when you're there on the pretext of helping him, or such other reason as you can think of.
For my OH I had to supervise as she was not so good at balance and walking, so I put up grab handles, got a non-slip mat, and even a shower chair, and she accepted help as she didn't want to fall, and sometimes needed help drying herself, especially as she found bending to do her feet difficult.
Best wishes. Be strong.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome @Oscarson

It could be fear, a balance issue perhaps or difficulty organising himself.

Are there safety attachments in the shower? Grab rails , a seat and a shower mat.

Getting out and dried can be tiring when one is weakened. I found it an effort recently when I wasn`t well.