To visit - or not to visit?

karen_white

Registered User
Apr 21, 2004
72
Berkshire
Thanks Bruce.
Was a good idea about noting down things that happen and times, etc. Just such a shame we have to do this.

I will have a chat with Mum and my sisters about making a complaint. I was totally shocked by it.

I agree with frying pan into the fire. I have wanted to make many complaints to the owner (it's a privately run nursing home), but one my mums advice haven't. We want Dad to be as unaffected by all this as possible and have to smile through gritted teeth some of the time.

Will let you know how I get home.
Will take things slowly.

Karen

(think Bruce and I submitted a thread at the same time!)
 

Jackie

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
61
Karen,

I really do wish you the very best of luck, and situations like this make me realise just how lucky my mum is to be in such a good home.

Brucie is right about taking notes when events happen, and dont be bullied by the staff about when you should 'let go' its down to each and everyone of us as an individual - no-one else..........

Best of luck
Jackie
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Karen
this home sounds like a nightmare!!
All homes are registered with the local health authority and inspected by them.
I would suggest that you check which authority is resposible for this home and have a word with them.
No one should have to tolerate rudness and it sounds as if you have grounds for an official complaint
Best wishes
Norman
 

karen_white

Registered User
Apr 21, 2004
72
Berkshire
We visited Dad last night and the manager came to see us and gave my sister and I an apology (albeit half heartedly). She implied that it was a joke and that we shouldn't take her so seriously!!!
We didn't go out of our way to say hello, like we normally do, so she must have sensed something was wrong.

I got a new book today to note down all the things that happen. I know we should complain, but I wouldn't want anything to happen to Dad.

We have tried to have a talk with the manager before about how other nurses treat Dad and she's been very offended and then all of them have been off hand with us for weeks.

But, if anything like this does happen again, at least we'll have everything written down.

At the end of the day, even though I would like to complain, Mum doesn't want to. Even though I'm her daughter, I couldn't go behind her back and have to respect what she wants.
 

Jackie

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
61
I have to agree with Norman, perhaps a confidential word with your local authority about the home, that way no-one can get the blame or be off handed with you and no-one has to know it was you.

I understand the difficult position you are facing but at the end of the day we can not let people treat the patients or their family in such a rude and appalling manner. This sort of behaviour needs to be stamped out in care homes our parents/husbands/wifes deserve better care than this!