Time for a break, I think

[jan.s]

Well, times change, and so does Talking Point. Sadly, I feel the time has come for me to take a break from it.

Last week I posted and caused offence to someone because I stated my own view, not as a judgement on another. Over the past months I have received a PM telling me what I should and should not post (from another member), I was criticised because I dared to state I didn't want my photo on the website, and to be honest I really don't need it. I can no longer cope with the judgements and criticism levelled at others, and I am thankful that I have managed to stay away from most of it, but I don't feel I can dodge the bullets any more.

I hope to be able to keep in touch with my friends by email and gain their support, and indeed to support them. I have enough hassle in my life at the moment without these added extras.

Thank you to everyone who has been so very supportive of me over time, I have really appreciated it. I will be back one day, but not at the moment.

I am happy to share my email with my friends, so please do PM me and I will send it to you. Good luck. Jan x

 

[Saffie]

Jan, I am very unhappy about you leaving Talking Point and sincerely hope that you will either reconsider or at least return here now and again. I know the posts to which you refer though of course not the PM. In both cases I support and respect your views. I will miss you if you leave completely.

As you probabaly remember, I have had my own doubt about remaining on TP a couple of times and even now, I am unsure from day to day. It is only the friendship I feel for some members and the fantastic support I have received from them that keeps me here now. TP has altered a great deal even over the past year alone and certainly appears to me to have a different vibe about it nowadays.

I will be PMing you as I consider you a friend and really hope that you view me in the same way. It was delightful to meet you in Launde abbey and share a very special memory with you as well as your company.

I'd like to think that those of us who have met up before can stay in touch and that we can still meet up in the future. Being a member of TP is not a pre-requisite fo coming to Launde Abbey.

I know you are going through a bad time now and wish you all the very best with your struggle for your husband. love and understanding. XXX

 

[Delphie]

You must do what you feel best, but I very much hope you stay. Or come back after a little break.

 

[turbo]

Hello Jan, I hope you will return to TP when you are ready. You have supported lots of people on this forum.
Take Care.


turbo

 

[jeany123]

i will miss you Jan, you have always been very supportive,


Jeany x

 

[Grannie G]

Over the past months I have received a PM telling me what I should and should not post (from another member), x

If anyone receives a PM with this type of content , please report it. We cannot have people telling others what they should and should not post.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Jan, take a break if you feel you need one. Sometimes it helps refresh us.

In my over 8 years as a member, I have seen many changes, many arguments and many misunderstandings. I have said before that the written word is a very difficult method of communicating in some ways as there are no nuances, no inflections, no tone of voice or expression on the face. I think this is why there are misunderstandings.

But for a member to PM you and tell you what to post and what not is not acceptable. I do hope that you report the PM.

We all have to agree to disagree. This is not a homogenous group, we are from all walks of life and backgrounds so we must accommodate each other. Unfortunately, there are always a few in a group, particularly such a large group, who feel they have all the answers and the rest should meekly follow. It's not going to happen.

I can think of several members who I passionately disagree with. In my opinion, they are completely wrong. I ignore them - it's all I can do. I'm sure there are people who ignore me for the very same reason. And that's the way it should be.

Please pop in now and again, Jan, as we'll be here for you.

 

[Dazmum]

Dear Jan, I shall miss you very much here and I am very sorry that you no longer feel that you want to post. I have always respected what you have to say and remember so well your fight to have your dear R somewhere that he could be well looked after, and how pleased that we all were for you and him.

You have also taken the time to be supportive to me over my mum and dad all the while you had your own worries, and I believe that is what TP should be about. I'm very upset by the thought that other posters have upset you to this extent, as kindness is one of the most important aspects of this site, and which has meant so much to me when I have needed it. But, as Joanne says, we can't agree with everyone, and there are some that I avoid here too. I hope that you will feel able to post again, or that someone will be able to let us know how you are your R are doing. As always Jan, lots of support and respect to you. Take care, love xxxx

 

[Jaycee23]

I can fully understand how you are feeling.

 

[Izzy]

Jan I'm so sad to read of your decision but of course respect that decision. I will pm you my email address. I loved meeting you at Launde Abbey and hope you'll be going again in May 14. Take care of yourself. xx

 

[CollegeGirl]

I do understand that sometimes people need to take a break. Thinking about dementia all the time is very draining - my husband sometimes tells me I spend too much time on here .

But I find it upsetting when someone feels as though they've been hounded off the forum for the reasons you're stating - that's just not right.

Jan, please reconsider. Everyone's views are important, and I believe there is room for us all here. If people disagree completely with another person's views, then just ignore each other. (I know that's difficult sometimes! )

I think we, as in you and I, had a slight disagreement once because I posted on a thread that I'd misinterpreted, and you were cross about what I'd said, and I had put my foot in it. But we sorted it out between us, and we both apologised to each other! Do you remember?

We will miss you if you go, and I would like to see you stay. How about a compromise of just popping in now and again?

xx

 

[gringo]

No man is an island,

Entire of itself,

Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.
John Donne.

Jan,
If this had been my poem (I wish!) I would have replaced 'clod' with some other word.
I shall miss your good common sense.

 

[jonorton]

Hello Jan.
Having read all the follow up posts you've had it seems you have a very large following
of friends that appreciate your views which of course you are entitled to,as is every one else,and we also live in a country where free speech is still aloud (i hope)as long as it's PC,and does not contravene the HSE,you carry on saying what you say and stay on
this site.
Love.
Keith xx

 

[garnuft]

Tales of a Wayside Inn

Your bunk on the boat taking off from Neverneverland is still there Jan, Dougal's treats are all aboard (Lady A's Chucks)....

We will keep it aired for you both.....

" Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
only a look and a voice,
then darkness again and a silence."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hope you feel the strength to return, your space will leave a gap.
XXX

 

[SnowLeopard17]

So sorry, hope to hear from you again soon.
Take care, SnowLeopard, with love x

 

[Miss Merlot]

I can fully understand how you are feeling.

Ditto. Internet forums are generally bitchy and judgemental by nature - that TP members offer as much support as they do is a minor miracle in my book...

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Talking Point mobile app

 

[seaurchin]

Hello Jan s, I was saddened to read your post and agree that the written word can be misinterpreted. I often fear I may be too blunt. I hope you feel able to return again soon as we all need each other's support when coping with this illness. Kindest wishes, Sea

 

[lin1]

Dear Jan
I am sorry you have been made to feel as though you have to leave, though I do understand why you feel this way.

I too will miss you and hope you will reconsider , maybe take a break from here for a little while.

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jan,

This is very sad to hear. It brings back distant memories of when something similar happened to me it is very distressing to receive such PM's and do agree that such posts need reporting. I have never been a fan of PM's, preferring the safety of aving eveything out in the open for all to share.

Please re-consider as no one should feel bullied.

Love

 

[Nanak]

What is happening on here?
Things are so different lately, when I first joined of course there were differences in opinions but I don't remember anyone ever feeling they should leave the forum due to bullying.
Or was I just so wrapped up in Mums diagnosis and the difficulties it presented I just didn't notice?

Nanak (Kim)