Hi McPhee:
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it hurts, it really hurts like crazy to think that your husband of 30+ years could actually hurt you (not intentionally of course). It doesn't help that he apologizes for his behaviour the next morning. The damage has already been done and it's scary.
You did the absolute right thing putting distance between the two of you, sending a letter to the memory clinic and telling his children. It's easy to say it's the illness (which it is) but it only takes a second to get hurt and to often its a long, long road back.
Please, please keep yourself as safe as possible. Is it bad enough that the police should be involved?
McPhee, hard as it is, you need to put your own safety first. Make sure you have a fully charged mobile phone on you at all times, and a set of house/car keys. Not in your bag, in case you can't get to your bag. In a pocket or something. And if your husband becomes very aggressive or violent, call the police emergency no. I know it's really hard and feels wrong, but it's not at all "betraying" him. It's a way of getting him the help he needs. The police have to log a report, which flags you up in the system.
Hi McPhee:
Hope all is well.
Everything more or less on an even keel again thanks.
Hi. Just a thought. My wife has this strange idea that she can delete any thing or any one on line. Someone she sees on tv or in the news, if she doesn't like them for any reason, and trust me, the list grows longer day by day, I think I'm even on it now, then they must be deleted. Yet not once has she thought to delete 'Dementia'. If only she could. Al.
McPhee,
Think you need to update GP. No point your taking 'happy' pills, this really is not good for you, when your husband is needing help. It also sounds as though this situation is beginning to get very wearing for you.
Contact the organisations below who will be able to guide you. Put in your postcode and the local number will come up . They have a wealth of information about your locality.
Alzheimers Society
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/
Age UK
http://www.ageuk.org.uk/
Admiral Nurses.
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/
Please take care.
My mum is currently going through a similar situation, my dad is very newly diagnosed and still functions to a very high level, driving etc with onlymyself and siblings know about the Alzheimer's, hides it well with others. They got home at 3am last night after a night at a friends house. I now stay at there house when they are out as my father doesn't drink and get more verbally aggressive with the odd push and lots of threats when she has had a few so I woke so her crying at 3:30am went to ask and he had been shouting and swearing at her cause he wanted to leave the party sooner: which he had never said to her whilst there! He threatened to hot her and Went into caveman style saying .. I'll tell you when we leave I'll tell you when to get out the car or walk away from me. She came In crying and went to bed as was scared, he came into the room when we were taking and I lost it telling him how out of line he was and too never threaten my mum again, he doesn't see his wrong and not just says this whole argument is her fault and she is to blame!! He shouts and threatens her weekly she is saying she can't do this anymore but needs to care for him and I'm worried he lifts his hand, does your son know about his accusations x.
Hi everyone.
I'm so sorry you are all going through this absolute living nightmare.
My husband was diagnosed just over a year ago with Alzheimer's but he has had it far longer than that. He is just the same, agitation and aggression (not physical yet but I fear he could be getting to that point before long) comes out of absolutely nowhere, accusations of "ripping him off", being a "nasty, horrible b**ch", everything apart from the Kennedy assassination. Last night was particularly bad, he was getting really wound up, pacing about and saying that he was going to make damn sure I got my comeuppance for whatever he believes I'm supposed to have done.
I have given up trying to reason with him during these episodes and have decided that it's best to just ignore him and let him get on with it until he calms down a bit. What do others do to cope with this aspect of this vile illness whilst it is happening?
Thank you
Tracey xx
Hi everyone.
I'm so sorry you are all going through this absolute living nightmare.
My husband was diagnosed just over a year ago with Alzheimer's but he has had it far longer than that. He is just the same, agitation and aggression (not physical yet but I fear he could be getting to that point before long) comes out of absolutely nowhere, accusations of "ripping him off", being a "nasty, horrible b**ch", everything apart from the Kennedy assassination. Last night was particularly bad, he was getting really wound up, pacing about and saying that he was going to make damn sure I got my comeuppance for whatever he believes I'm supposed to have done.
I have given up trying to reason with him during these episodes and have decided that it's best to just ignore him and let him get on with it until he calms down a bit. What do others do to cope with this aspect of this vile illness whilst it is happening?
Thank you
Tracey xx