Hi....I am new here and I really need some help and some honest answers. My Father just turned 75 on March 21st. He has already been through the forgetful stages....ie....forgetting how to perform different tasks, forgetting words and having trouble forming complete sentences, making up words, not recognizing my Mom and myself....forgetting things we tell him....etc. He has been through the agressive/temperamental stage....he used to accuse Mom of stealing the Kleenex....he would get agitated by the slightest things. According to Mom one day when they were in the back yard tending to the flowers/plants etc....he got annoyed and chased her around the back yard with a shovel while their Great Dane was running around with one of the coconuts that had fallen from one of the palm trees....they live on a canal....can you imagine if a boat would have went by and saw that scene?? I have to laugh....I can just see it now....one thing I have realized is that one must at times try and have a sense of humor when dealing with this illness. He has been through the "Sundowning" phase. He has been through all types of confusion....he would wake my Mom up at around 2 or 3 A.M. and tell her it was time for tea, he would be out looking for the mail on Sundays....there is no mail delivery here on Sunday..we have found him out wandering around in the yard in the middle of the night....and on one such occasion he peed in the front yard (please pardon me....I did not intend to offend anyone by being so blunt). He had a stroke last July and was placed in a rehab home for recovery. On November 10th 2007 while I was out of town my Mom had to take him to the ER....he was subsequently admitted to the hospital for an infection called C-Difficile....according to the Doctor that saw him this type of infection is only found in hospitals and rehab centers/nursing homes. Dad hasn't been home since. He is totally incontinent, he developed congestive heart failure....we were even told at one point that he had pneumonia ( this was some time during the two hospitals and the two rehab centers he was in)....he got bedsores and he developed diabetic ulcers on one foot. He went to see a vascular surgeon....it was either have the surgery and hope for the best or have his foot and possibly leg amputated....we opted for the surgery. Two of the veins were 100% blocked (they could do nothing with them) and the third vein was 90% blocked so they cleared that one. He had the surgery in February....he saw the Doc last week and the Doc said that the diabetic ulcers would heal over time. Dad can't eat without assistance....my poor Mom goes to the facility almost every day and spends at least an hour trying to feed him lunch....hell someone even asked her if she was a social worker since she is there so often. Dad is 5'11" and is now down to a little over 140 lbs. When I saw him last weekend I couldn't believe how much he had deteriorated since the seven days when I saw him last. Last Friday my Mom called me at work and told me to come home that night instead of the next morning....she didn't think my Father would live through the weekend. He did....and I still can't believe his deterioration....I am going to the parents house (about 50 miles away) again Friday after work....I have no idea what his state will be. The Docs want to take him off the Aricept and Namemba (sp??)....they even suggested that he be taken off his cholesterol medication. He hasn't been able to talk much for the past two months....he just has a blank look on his face and if we are lucky he might say a word or two....he doesn't make much sense but at least it is a word or two. That is the situation. This is the beginning of the end....isn't it? I am trying to prepare myself....I come from a small family and most of my relatives passed away when I was a small child....I am almost 35 years old and I have never been to a funeral....I cry every day....I am devastated by what has happened to my Father and I am angry....he is such a good man....how can this happen to him? It seems like all of the horrible stuff happens to the good people and the bad people never have a problem at all. I just don't understand....it is so unfair. This is the beginning of the end....isn't it?